I told DH earlier this week that I think SS is f*%cking with me. He asked why and I went on to list my reasons: Every day he is here, he does something he knows he shouldn't be doing, or something that is just common sense not to do. Lately he is always with his gf (fantastic- go do things!) or working sometimes, so most of the time he is coming home for 20 minutes and doing this crap. He is almost 17 and a smart kid book-wise, and he knows better than to do all of these. 

 - That same night I told DH this, SS came inside for 10 mins before going to his gf's house, and left empty bottles on the counter. DH said, "Gah! I think he is f*cking with us!". 

- He parked next to the clearly-empty trash bins by the curb and walked within 6" from them, but didn't bring them up to the house. 

- The night before they left last time they were with us, he was supposed to wash his towels, but he only put them in the washer and left them there without changing them over to the dryer, then went to Crazy's, so I had to finish them so I could do my laundry. 

- 3 times this week, there have been used snotty-toilet paper just thrown on the floor around the trash can in the bathroom- all from SS. Yesterday there were FIVE WADS. I'm telling him that the next time this happens, I'm going to put them on his bed and taking out that trash will be his additional chore for 2 months.  

- There were some clean dishes on the counter- where we only put CLEAN dishes. Last night SS put a dirty bowl and spoon inside of them and then left to go to his gf's. 

- He brought half a head of cooked cabbage home from work and left it in a cardboard takeout container in the fridge, where the container got all soggy and stunk up the entire fridge. There is zero chance he would actually have eaten it. 

-We took skids and SS's gf to do an escape room- it was 50 mins away, and SS's gf had to work prior, so they drove separate. DH told SS he needed to make sure they left right when his gf got done with work or they would be late. We could clearly see SS leave our house 20 mins later than he should have, and even then he should have had plenty of time to get there early, but he managed to show up exactly as we were supposed to start the escape room. The employees were waiting for us and we were late starting. DH had called SS multiple times, and him and I were both irritated so it put a damper on the whole thing.  

-He was late twice this week coming home from his gf's- DH had to text him both times to get him home. Is there a punishment, you ask? Not so far! Skids leave today so I doubt DH will punish him. It is taking every ounce of willpower not to say something about it. 

He just walks around doing what he wants, lazy and oblivious, and I'm about to snap. Teen behavior or not, I am at my limit. 

* UPDATE- I just lost my sh*t on SS. I WFH, He had a class today and should have been home by noon (they are on spring break). He has been told 1 million times he needs to let us know where he is going. It was 1pm and SD was asking where he was because she's ready to go by Crazy's. I text DH and checked the insurance app that shows where he has driven. It showed he was at his gf's. DH said "I'll text him to come home". In an epic disengagement fail, I text DH that for this and being late for curfew twice this week I think he should be grounded from his gf for at least 2 days when he comes next. DH said "Today is a gray area, technically it's Crazy's day and they are on spring break".  I said, no- SD is still here, SS's stuff is still here. They are still with us, it's not "Crazy's day so SS gets to do whatever the F he wants". I'm the one here with them while DH is at work. I said, and about being late? No consequences? DH said "Holy shit, I'm at work, I'll think about it". I said, "I'm at work too. But I'm the one getting asked where he is, and here dealing with it. If he thought there was a chance of a punishment we wouldn't even be having this conversation". 

SS walked in and I told him, We're going to talk. I went off and said, Enough. You are running around acting like you don't have to follow any rules- coming home past curfew, not telling us where you're going...and throwing used kleenex around like you just don't care at all. I said, do you know your dad and I? You have gotten away with a lot, but now I'm PISSED. I have had it up to HERE. If you think you can just run around doing what you want and not listening with no consequences, you are wrong. I like you and I know you are a smart kid, but you are not being respectful and following rules, or acting like you care about anything around here. I know you like your gf, but you still have to put in effort here, and you're about to start losing time with her. Cause I'm DONE. I said, pick up after yourself, follow the rules, and show that you can be trustworthy. Because there are times coming up where we will be gone, and you would possibly have the opportunity to stay here without us, but right now we would never do that because we can't trust you to follow rules or be responsible. Show us that you can be trustworthy. I don't want to be mad at you, but I have been this week because you have been doing what you want all week. He took it all and said he understands at the end. I have not yelled at him like that in years. I'm frustrated with DH for allowing it and for not giving consequences- all it does is encourage SS to do it more because he doesn't think anything will happen.