In the last episode of "Crazy forced SD14 to come to our house and she went feral", DH had put on his rose-colored glasses and done a 180 and was all "I want to make things work with SD" and had changed his mind about filing for an emergency custody change to give Crazy full custody because I had found an intensive 4hr/day intensive therapy program which would magically undo the aggressive PAS she has been exhibiting. Since then: 

- We are still waiting for SD to have the evaluation, so we're not sure if/when she will be starting this program. 

- Crazy asked DH if he really filed for full custody and said she didn't want Full Custody either due to "concerns of her own". DH showed SD the message so Crazy couldn't accuse DH of lying about it. 

- DH did call the lawyer he was refered to on Fri, but he never got a callback. 

- Crazy, SD, and SD's friend had plans on Sat for SD's bday, but both of them ditched her for it. 

-SD was fine the rest of the week. Which honestly makes this whole situation more difficult. If she was a constant demon this would be a no-brainer. I know she could be a ticking time bomb and I don't trust her either way, and I completely hear everyone about boundaries. But that is easier said than done. We don't have a ton of options, especially when you see the later part of this blog.  Mental health facilities won't take her when she is not making threats to herself, which she isn't. We don't have boarding school $, so finding one that MAY be affordable is very difficult. I haven't given up but I'm the only one looking. SD literally slept all day, every day, til 3-4PM. She was actually a nonissue. She did her chores when told or even without being told. She stayed in her room. She talked to DH normally on occasion- her and I ignored each other until I had a few drinks on Fri. and ended up kind of talking to her to find out where her head was and she said she was "open to trying" with us, but also admitted she was being fake just to get by. So that sealed it-I would not put in effort, but would be polite. I'm pretty sure she knows I won't play with her nonsense. DH spoke to her that night when I was gone (he didn't know I had talked to her) and confirmed what I had decided- he told me not to try with her, she is being fake to get by. I am NOT thrilled about this situation. There is just no easy answer. DH doesn't want to give up full custody now and Crazy doesn't want it anyway- It would be expensive. It's hard to forge forward on the initial plan when things feel much less volatile. DH had his mom contact SD to pick her up and get her out of my space but SD was sleeping all day so it never worked out. Putting a boundary out that SD will not be in my home at this point puts DH in an impossible position and I have a really hard time doing that to him, especially because of how things are with Crazy (read on). 

- On Thursday, Crazy told SS18 she can WFH now, and she was going to go to her BF's house (30 mins away) to work from there for a few weeks and SD would be staying with us. I literally started to panic. She then sent DH a message on OFW at 10pm saying she was "going out of town" for 2 weeks and that SD would be staying with us. She had SD for 5 months (wrong- it was 4, and SD was with us for some of that time) and "since DH never found care for SD during that time or gave her notice that he wouldn't be taking his placement", (SD refused to come here because she alienated her!!) he can take SD for a few weeks. And that SS had permission to stay at her house while she was gone, but SD didn't, and she has cameras too (alluding to the fact that we have cameras, but no, she actually doesn't) but if DH dropped SD off and SS told her about it (if she has cameras, why would SS even need to tell her...?) she "was to call the police because of SD's suicidal tendencies" and DH would be leaving her there without a parent. And to not even bother arguing because she was leaving RIGHT NOW. 

We did not respond to that because we didn't know if she was just f'ng with us (she is this insane, she would do that), and we had no intentions of following her orders. The CO has a 30 day notice for Right of first refusal- she was not following that, and DH is out of town this wknd. The F*CK she is dropping SD off here with me!

-Sunday, DH and I sat on the deck all afternoon while SD slept. I saw her in the kitchen and mentioned she could come out if she wanted. She said "eh, maybe later". Perfect, I was being polite. 2hrs later I had grilled food and it had just gotten done and she came out. The 3 of us ate outside. SD spent the next 30 mins basically bashing her mom. She said "the day mom lost her mind", and told us about the last time Crazy kicked her out, when we were in FL and DH had his mom pick her up. Apparently Crazy's BF was there that day too and Crazy said "Everyone get out of my house!", including the BF, so he took SD fishing. 10 mins later Crazy told him to come back but he told her he didn't think she was ready. Crazy told him to drop SD off at our house (reminder, we were in FL). He said he wasn't going to drop SD off at her ex husbands house.... then SD told us that Crazy won't let her wear tank tops and made her return one and said she was dressing "promiscuously", even when she wears hoodies and pants. DH said "You are making a choice by being with her- this is part of it. It almost seems like we aren't so bad now...". So somehow we started the week with us being the worst people alive, and ended with SD complaining about her perfect mom that is always there for her. 

Neither kid mentioned SD not going by Crazy after that message, So yesterday on switch day, DH told SS to take SD with him- that was always our plan, so SS took her. We didn't hear anything until yesterday afternoon, when SD started texting DH saying Crazy said she isn't supposed to be there, and her mom said she is supposed to come back by us tomorrow. DH said no, he isn't going to be here and it's her custody week. SD said Crazy told her to go by DH's mom, but DH's mom is going out of the country on Fri. What in the actual F*CK is wrong with this woman?! Saturday is SD's 15th Birthday!! And she can't just ship SD off to DH's mom- DH's mom hates Crazy, they have no relationship. 

DH sent Crazy a message on OFW and said it is her custody period, she did not give 90 days notice, DH won't be home this wknd, so it is her responsibility to find childcare for SD. She wrote back saying she "had a medical issue so she couldn't leave for her trip "RIGHT NOW" like she had said, but she is leaving now and SD is coming back to our house. She had SD for 5 months and it's DH's turn, she will be gone! DH said absolutely not, and it was cruel of her to build this relationship with SD and then bail on her Bday and bday plans. Crazy said "You are cruel for ruining SD's bday". This woman is truly unhinged. She kept trying to make it sound like she was going somewhere, when really she is going 30 mins to her BF's house, and she had already told SS that- did she not think he told us?? Somewhere during these messages I went and changed the code to the garage keypad because that is how Skids get into our house and I was pretty sure Crazy would try to drop SD off. DH stopped reading/responding since he was at work. Crazy sent another message saying SD would be coming here. SD called DH but he didn't answer. An hour later she sent another message saying since SD wanted to be with her for her bday, she would keep SD until Monday- but on Mon, SD would come to our house and would stay here until July 27th, since she would be "out of town" during that time. 

I just can't. The hell if we are keeping SD for a month. DH didn't respond because we had this small victory, but he's going to. We are absolutely not keeping SD for a month. But this is exactly what Crazy said a few months ago also, and it was a flat out lie. Her BF could never handle her for a whole month anyway. 

-DH has decided to put little effort in with SD after all until/unless there are some real changes. He said he used to feel bad (dad guilt) when she was in her room before because she had this expectation (put in her head by Crazy) that parents played with kids all the time, and while DH played games with her, he didn't spend every minute with her so he was a terrible father, but she's 15 now (this wknd), and they have very little in common- he isn't going to chase after her like she seems to want and he doesn't have the energy for her antics or drama. He took her to McDonalds when I was gone, but he also doesn't want to set this precedent of "TrueNorth is gone, SD fills that void or we do fun things now", as if I am the cause of some divide. I told him he can choose whatever way he wants to approach this relationship and put as much or little effort as he wants into it, but I am staying out of it.   - DH told me he was really afraid I wouldn't be there for him during the week with SD, and he was so thankful I was. It was the most loving version of DH- He is SO thankful for my support and all I have done, he wants us to do a date night if/when SD is here so we can make sure we get out of the stress and focus on us. I appreciate that and it's all well and good but what I really want is for Crazy and SD to go take this fuckery elsewhere.