Quick rundown of my Christmas with ss
Ss13 stayed home alone while the kids and I went to my parents (2hrs away). It was great because I didn't have to deal with ss for 5days til he and dh finally met up with us for Christmas weekend. Unfortunately when we got home today the house was a wreck! UGH!! I flipped out and dh kept quiet because he knew. Now, it wasn't trashed but I repeatedly told dh t needed to b picked up when I got home.
For Christmas dh overspent. He bought ss a $200+ electric scooter plus somebother things. He thought t was ok by allowing us to spend the same on each of our bios. Now we're broke and dh is stressed. Well, he THINKS we are broke. I knew this would happen so I saved money and haven't told dh. I'm letting him stress first. Oh, and ss didn't even thank dh for he scooter. In fact he didn't even make a big deal about it. He preferred to play with the $10 gun dh got him. Who would'e guesses that we could've gotten my bs4 and ss1: the SAME THINGS and that would've made him happy?! He played more with bs4 toys than his scooter. Go figure.
Ss didn't get dh anything. No surprise there. Not even a Christmas card or a homemade card. Nothing. But like I said, no surprise.
Ss didn't pick on my kids!!! We should have his visits at my parents house all the time! Ss knows my parents will always side with the bios so he behaved as far as not fighting with them. When he tried to pick fights my mom stopped it right away and ss would stop. Go grandma!
Dh also got to see firsthand how immature ss is. My nephew who is only 6 months older than ss was over. Not only is ss little for his age, dh saw how immature he acts. The things ss was excited about (his gun, motorized truck) was of no interest to my nephew. They used to play together when ss was younger an visited. But now thy are worlds apart. Ss spent time playing with the bios and toys while my nephew hung out with the adults.
Ss is finally gone! Dh just left to take him home. Dh kept telling ss o say bye to the kids. They ignored him. They were watching tv and frankly, are tired of him. Dh kept telling them that ss was leaving, thinking they were going to react. Nothing. As ss was walking out the door he kept saying 'bye, I'm going home...' No reaction. Not even a bye. Dh finally left. Kids still haven't mentioned ss leaving or being gone. I guess they were just as ready as me!
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When my BS was about 2-3
When my BS was about 2-3 years old, it was like an internal clock would go off inside him when the big kids (SS9-10 then and SD6-7 then) would stay too long. I have actually heard him tell them to go back to their BM's houses. I thought it was sad and kinda funny at the same time.
My BS7 1/2 spent the first 7 years of his life as an only child 90% of the time. Now he is learning how to be the younger brother 100% of the time and he struggles. We are all struggling every day.
I think the little kids treat the big kids the way they have been treated. I swear that for the first full year of BS's life, SS7 then, would only say to BS, "Hello, what are you doing?" Guess what BS said to SS the next year and a half? Yup, "Hello, what are you doing?" I swear it's because BS 'thought' those were the only words SS knew. BS would treat others the way he was treated and it showed in the way he spoke to us.
The immaturity could come from the way SS is being raised. If he is expected to act like a younger kid, then he will. SS was treated like a mini adult at his BM's house and it is hard to break. SD is treated like a helpless little girl at her BM's house and that is how she acts. We don't let her get away with that crap around here and SURPRISE!!! she doesn't act that way around here nearly as bad as she does for her BM.
Good luck!!