DH read my post from yesterday
So DH did read my post from yesterday. When I got home he had red roses sitting on the counter, candy, and a letter where he apologized for everything. He then talked to me about the fact that he has a very hard time admitting when he is wrong and that he was going to work on that.
Let's just say that moment was short lived.
I ended up taking a shower and when I entered the garage he was on the phone with his mother talking about what had been going on. As soon as I walked out his eyes got all big and he immediately started stumbling over the words that he was telling his mother. Obviously I walked in on him during a moment that he didn't want me to hear.
Fast forward to about an hour later. DH is sitting in the gargae looking all sad and lost in thought. I asked him what was worng and he told me nothing. Obviously I could tell there was something wrong so I asked again. You know what he said to me. When I go to prison you're going to be out effing other men. (The neighbor's daughter made a sexual advance towards DH about a year ago. DH asked her to leave immediately. The crazy neighbot sent a text to DH a couple of days ago saying get ready for the cops to show, which they haven't and I don't think she is going to anything.) WTF. I was done at the point and went to bed and read.
As I was laying there something hit me. During the crazy neighbor ladies attack on me she sent some personal stuff that there was no way she could have known about me and our relationship. When I confronted DH about one of the comments he said that he did tell her that. I felt so stupid for not realizing it sooner. DH had been talking to this lady about me and about our relationship before (who knows how long) this whole drama thing started with the neighbors divorce.
I am so p!ssed right now. No wonder this lady didn't know where the boundaries were at when she was calling, texting, and using my DH for her emotional crutch. DH had been going to her for support with our relationship. He's been emotionally cheating on me and I have no clue for how long.
Now he's sending me texts trying to back track saying he never said anything to her and it must have been her husband and her husband must have told her. BS. He already told me he talked to her about stuff a couple of days ago and now he's claiming that he doesn't remember when and she must have been present when he talked to her husband about it.
I'm effing sick to my stomah right now.
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Oh and not to mention I
Oh and not to mention I finally figured out why the whole 16 year old making advances towards DH still p!sses me off other then the obvious. Everytime I bring it up DH defends the little b!tch saying I'm still not sure if she meant it like that. WTF!!! Really. She effing put her hands on him while I was at work and not accidentally in any way shape or form. And he effing defends the little attempted home wrecker every time.
His excuse for defending her? I just don't want to believe that people are like that.
Sueu, I see what you're
Sueu,
I see what you're saying but I do not think that he has cheated on me physically. The 16 did touch him inappropriately. I think he did know it was worng and what those intentions were with her and that's why he sent her home. The big issue with me on that one is that not only does he defend her but it took him four months to tell me what this little skank did. Regardless of whether or not he wasn't sure of what her intentions were at the time it made him feel uncomfortable enough that he made her leave. So why wait four months to tell your wife about it. If it made him feel uncomfortable enough to make her leave I should have known that day and not four months later.
I dont know what to say. Im
I dont know what to say. Im starting to think you should follow your gut.
Let's just get it over with, what does your gut say?
Ohhh no! I think this
Ohhh no! I think this neighbor stuff is probably because she's being ignored right now (guilty concience and reactions). I hear you, I think I'd be sick too. In fact it would induce a migraine with me and I'd be in bed for days until I recovered.
He needs to be talking to YOU, not neighbors, mom or anyone who will listen.
Check the statute on sexual charge? How old is the girl? I can only imagine he is worried sick about the whole thing but I would not allow him to wallow in that for long...chances are she's bluffing. Tell him to get off his pity pot and do what he's supposed to be doing DAILY, hourly, minute by minute if that's what he is capable of?
I do get that some folks can get your life story out of you, just by being a good listener, and if he was feeling down a bit then she'd listen...that really sucks!
I think I'd have a 'come to Jesus' meeting with him and lay it all out, once you are feeling up to it. Let him know in no uncertain terms what's acceptable in your relationship, he seems to have no idea about boundaries.
I agree. Anf of course when I
I agree. Anf of course when I got on the phone with her it was, "DH isn't crossing any boundaries the other women is." Really MIL? Well what if I told you about DH talking to this other lady about our relationship and about negative things about me? What am I thinking. She wouldn't care. Her son can do no wrong.
What he neglected to mention
What he neglected to mention to Mommy Dearest is that HE is not setting THEM straight!
Just wondering where do you
Just wondering where do you live? Cause that seems like a lot of weird and invasive neighbors. Both from your Dh's side and from the other side. It sounds like the daughter may have tried something with him because he was already hooking up with her mom or something twisted like that..
We live in the Midwest. And
We live in the Midwest. And Dh was not hooking up with the mom. This lady is nuts. But I believe the two of them did get a little two emotionally involved with each other. The 16 year skank is just that a skank. She has not morals and she's lucky she's still a minor or I would have put the fear of death into her by now.
Your husband isn't a minor.
Your husband isn't a minor. Why not put the fear of death into him?
Because, and according to
Because, and according to him, he didn't see the signs she was giving him. I did. In fact the only reason why he told me about what happened is that I kept pointing out all of the flirting she was going openly in front of me with my DH. If I hadn't, because apparently he wasn't noticing it, he would have never told me about it.
Anyone else getting the
Anyone else getting the feeling that MIL is aware of the relationship between husband and the other woman? It's kind of strange for a grown ass man to call his mommy about this instead of a close buddy.
OP if he shared this with his mom, I bet he has shared your blogs with her as well.
I doubt that. I have no clue
I doubt that. I have no clue what he was saying to him mother about everything that went down. I could just tell by his reaction when I walked out into the garage that whatever it was it wasn't meant for my ears. He was probably trying to get her to agree with him why having the neighbor lady calling and texting constantly and he responding to it was okay and wasn't corssing any boundaries. When I got on the phone with her that was one of the comments she made. That FIL would have done the same thing because that's just what nice guys do and DH wasn't crossing any boundaries the neighbor lady was.
The real issue is not the
The real issue is not the exact specifics of who did what and how wrong it was. The real issue is that you are hurting from what your husband's actions and he is more interested in defending his "right" to do what he wants than he is in soothing your feelings with reassurance.
I may do something perfectly innocent (in my opinion) that makes my DH feel like crap. My job as a good wife is to consider those feelings and modify my actions to keep him happy unless I have a damn good reason to go ahead. Now that does NOT mean I am a doormat by any means. He'd probably laugh at the idea of me being a doormat.
I was single for a long time and have many, many male friends. I make sure that my interaction with them does not hurt my DH. I don't spend time defending "my right" because I am innocent to go do something with them.
^^^EXACTLY^^^ Too bad you
^^^EXACTLY^^^
Too bad you wouldn't have taken that damn job
He told me what happened and
He told me what happened and that he sent her home. Why would I have any reason to not believe him?
He's worried about going to
He's worried about going to prison because of how things can spin out of control in situations like this. Plus the neighbor lady is freaking nuts and out of her mind on meds right now and is upset that DH went out to drinks with her stbEx. This would be the reason why she threatened the police.
And he did wait four months to tell me, but he wasn't trying to tell me anyting else during that four month span of time. He told me when I kept pointing out how she openly flirts with him in front of me several times. Before that, I had no idea that she had even been in our house while I was at work ever.
My DH asked me not to say
My DH asked me not to say anything about the touching incident. He wanted to keep the piece between households. Believe me that I wanted to march right over to and get about two inched away from her face and ask her what exactly she thought she was doing.
And I do agree with the fact that had the touching incident been addressed then she would have known where the boundaries were at.
because he waited for 4
because he waited for 4 months. if 16-year-old touched me i would tell DH that same day
______________________________________________________________
This. This. This. This. I am not upset that he 16 made advances towards him. Do I have a few choice words that I would like to tell her? Of course.
I am upset that he waited four months to tell me about some female making sexual advances towards him in our home while I was at work. Do I think that he handled the situation with her appropriately by making her leave immediately. Yes. But the sheer fact that I might have never known about any of this unless I hadn't been pointeing out her openly flirting with him in front of me after that situation happened upsets the sh!t out of me. He was never planning on telling me about it to begin with.
And the sheer fact that he defends the little twat after she did it. You don't accidentally touch someone like that in that type of a situation. It just doesn't happen. And if I hear him defend that little twat again I swear to god, I will rip his balls off and shove them so far down his throat that there will be no need for him to wonder if I ACCIDENTALLY did it.
He was lying by OMISSION for
He was lying by OMISSION for FOUR MONTHS but you believe what he says now?? How many times did you bring up her flirting? ANY.SINGLE.ONE of those times, he could have brought this up and didn't.
What else is he NOT telling you about that he SHOULD be telling you about??
Really??? He told you what
Really???
He told you what happened( or his version at least)4 months after it occured.
He's lying to you about the chick down the street.
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The leg incident happened
The leg incident happened after DH told me about the touching incident. And I can honestly say because I was right there he didn't notice the girl doing it.
He was leaning up against the counter with his back to it out in the garage right in front of my car. His legs were apart and he had something in his hand that he was focused on. She came into the garage and immediately sat right in front of him on the hood of my car. She took both of her legs and plopped them down in between DH's parted legs with her feet on the floor. I would say that about a quater of her calf and her ankles and her feet were passing through DH's parted legs. He didn't notice. He just sat there focused on what he had in his hand dinking around with it.
stepdown you need to chill
stepdown you need to chill out. I was asked by my DH not to say anything about the touching incident because HE didn't want to cause issues inbetween house holds.
We never invited her into the garage she just showed up and you tell me a way to tell her to get the eff out where it's not going to come across as me being a b!tch. DH didn't want to cause issues. He wanted to maintain his friend ship with the neighbors. Was I okay with any of it? Hell No I wasn't but I was doing what DH asked me to do.
Of COURSE he wanted to keep
Of COURSE he wanted to keep the friendship with the neighbors. Of COURSE he didn't want the MOM to know that her daughter is a skank ho-bag. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
And your DH is an ass, pure and simple.
How the hell do you know that
How the hell do you know that she goes home and tells her mom? When the eff did I effing post that?
She did this over a year ago. DH didn't tell me until four months after it happened. The crazy neighbor just found out about it this week because I EFFING told her about it when she was calling me a shity mother to my BD. That shut her up really quick.
I'd tell him that if he went
I'd tell him that if he went to prison for messing around with the skank I sure would be dating and making a new life for myself that did not include him.
Unhappy, this has got to be
Unhappy, this has got to be so hard to read all of this. Only you know your husband, we obviously don't. I hope your husband has not physically cheated. I really hope that, but from this post alone, it really seems like he feels 'caught red handed'. When you posted the original posts about him simply talking to the other woman I thought 'he's not cheating, just really stupid and naive' but after reading this I really do think there is more to his side of the story. I'm sorry girl, but why do men complain about their relationships to other women? To make the other woman think his relationship sucks or is almost over so she will sleep with him. It's hard to have an opinion about the 16 year old girl and him, but I really do think something more is going on here. And also, are you POSITIVE he was talking to his mom on the phone?
I hope this is all just a big misunderstanding!
Hang in there!
Wow! I can hardly keep up. I
Wow! I can hardly keep up. I was reading your back blogs trying to get some insight...but I'm sorry...your DH is up to no good.
If this woman the mother, is doing all of this, her number should be blocked. If her dtr is coming over, for whatever reason, there needs to be a restraining order to keep her from your home, esp since "hes worried about jail".
Whatever the reasons, the very fact that he is NOT taking any action AGAINST these women, screams red flag, and fault.
Is the "friendship" with the
Is the "friendship" with the neighbors so important that not only does he defend them, pissing his wife off and putting his marriage in jeopardy...he even is willing to risk JAIL TIME for some unknown offense????