I know that this will sound like a cliche right now, but time does help us heal,and I truly do believe God has someone special for you,so don't go closing your heart.Being with your family will help alot right now too,lean on them.Maybe one last suggestion for the road???... Print out everything you have ever written on this site and all of our responses to your posts,and give them to dear old BF as a parting gift,it might make him wake up enough to see the damage he is doing to his children AND HIMSELF!!.You never know,it just might be the best gift you could ever give him!!! And if it does turn him around enough to set limits and structure in his life for his children AND THE EX, then maybe it wasn't a complete wast of your time if you helped a couple of little kids to get on the right path to living a healthy and sane life. We can only hope and pray for their sakes.
Good Luck and please keep in touch here at the site to let all of us know how you are doing, please???
Keep the Faith that GOD has something far more special in store for you!

hangingin

Breaking up is so hard to do. Whenever we are faced with lifes trials making the right choice is heartbreaking. I got an email today from someone all about what God has planned for us. It said he asked for a flower and a butterfly but all he got was a cactus and caterpillar. You know how it goes, later the cactus grew a flower and the caterpillar turned into a butterfly. I have not been a able to understand why my life feels so difficult as of late but I'm wondering if this cactus in my house will bloom some day soon. I believe that for you.

I could never know or advise you as to what is best for you and your life. I do know that taking care of yourself and making sure your needs are met is very very important. You need a true partnership to be in a healthy marriage. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. You are making a big decision and I will be thinking and praying for you.

Please please keep us posted on your life. Let us know if you are doing okay and what you end up doing. Everyone on this site knows a little something about ending a relationship and can help you through this if you want it. I remember dreading the day I would drive out of my ex's house. I felt the pain over and over so kept delaying the "break-up" When I finally did it, it felt different. There is a funny twist though. A man I knew, a very unique individual, who probably never left the small New England town I was living in. A man who was probably born a 100 years later than he should have. Someone who lived like Henry Thoreau. Anyway, I knew him, but we weren't close. When I was leaving town with all my stuff in tow, I had to drop off the seeds to a plant I borrowed from a local farmer. There, was Ralph who saw me and immediately took me in his arms where I sobbed for a good half hour. There he was, this strange, simple, earthy man, my angel helping me through the scariest drive of my life.

I think of him often in my life and I know there are angels watching over you too. Here's a hug from me.

Kathleen

Not sad. I know how hard it is, I have done it myself. But please be proud of yourself because putting your pride, your self esteem & self worth ahead of your heart is a very hard thing to do. You know how they say your head can tell your heart something a million times but your heart always wins. You beat the odds and you will come out with a better life. Always remember his lists of demands on you and the time he wasn't prepared to give you, and remember you left because you knew you were worth more than he could offer. Hugs.

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

You are more important and deserve more than what he was giving you. I'm so proud of you for making the decision to leave, even if it means he has nothing in his house anymore and you have to move across the country. I hope that some others in similar situations who venture to this site see how strong you're being and use it as inspiration to take that step in their own lives. You are never stranded, you are never alone. No one deserves to be given laundry-lists of unmeetable ultimatums or promises that are only made to keep you there when it is convenient to them and then broken when they have the upper-hand. You deserve so much more!

Please keep us posted on your life, and good luck *hugs*

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Wow whoami. I am sorry. You are a very strong person and I think it's good you are listening to your gut. I was out this weekend so I'm just now catching up on posts since Friday.

Be proud. You gave it everything you had and then some. His lists of demands were shocking! It's hard because you love him but I'm not sure he has the strength to move on and establish real boundaries. Spending the entire day inside the ex's house is a sign right there.

Anyway - you are in my thoughts and my prayers. You are so smart I know you will be ok. Please keep us posted. You deserve the best!!

I am sorry that you are going through all of this pain, but at least you weren't married and you didn't have any kds with him. When I went back and read your other post I saw that he was married to BM for 17 years so that does explain, but not justify his behavior. It will take him at least 3 years before he gets to the point that he cuts her lose and realizes that he can have a stable relationship with the kds and not be a doormat for her. He just wasn't ready for a relationship and he may never be so don't blame yourself

((((whoami))))) I'm so sorry. I know what you sacrificed to be with him. Your decision was doubly hard because you had left your old life behind, and started a new one with him, giving up everything because you trusted his love and committment to you. You are extremely BRAVE, and I think you made the right decision. I think you are going to look back and be very glad that you got out when you did. Please take care of yourself, and put yourself and your needs FIRST! Don't worry about anything else but your health and well-being right now. And keep posting here. You have tons of love and support here. Tons! Take care.

His loss, and trust me he will realize it one day. They always do!! I know you are hurting right now, but take it from someone who has been there,it will get better. Please continue to post and give us updates!!

**How seldom we weigh our neighbors in the same balance as ourselves. ~Thomas à Kempis**