For the original story see: http://www.steptalk.org/node/37046#new

The update. I had called the service provider and insurance companies numerous times yesterday. There's no fraudulent use because the insurance was used for services rendered to a covered person. Doesn't matter if the child was taken to the provider by Santa Claus himself.

However, I was able to tell the provider that I do not give authorization for my insurance to be used for FRAMES and LENSES since they had not yet officially ordered them and I wanted that benefit used for contacts instead. They contacted BM and told her that frames and lenses would not be ordered and filed on the insurance until the parents could reach an agreement on whether the benefit was to be used for frames/lenses or for contacts.

So, BM calls DH and they get into it. She tries to tell him that she had this appointment scheduled weeks in advance (BS-the provider told me when the appointment was made) and she acted like she had no idea we had scheduled an appointment for Katie (BS Again - DH knows I told her about the appointment). So basically she tries to whine about how my having vision insurance on the kids is causing her problems in using her medicaid benefits because legally she has to use my insurance (really it just bites her that I'm the one providing the insurance). DH goes on to explain the benefits to SD13 having contacts as opposed to glasses. BM tries to say that SD didn't know anything about us getting contacts (BS - SD and I talked about it for about 15 minutes last weekend while we were getting our nails done). She continues to gripe about various other crap, then says she will talk to SD and call DH back.

BM called DH today and said she will go ahead and order the contacts. She will get a year supply of contacts for $92 vs. glasses for $66.

Finally, after a two-day battle, she is going to do the right thing. Thank God! I will now step back once again and let DH handle her on his own. I think she's getting to be more difficult to deal with because she feels threatened by me in a mom role with her kids.

On a positive note, DH was amazing through the whole thing. I was so mentally exhausted and stressed last night when I got home that I was crying as I got out of the car. Not all of it was caused by BM's antics but I told my DH how being a SM is a terribly thankless job sometimes and how I have all these expectations put on me but no say in decisions that are made. He told me that he is VERY thankful for my role in his kids' life and he hopes that is all the thanks I need.....and it was.