Definite therapy. For the most part, it's better to vent and get it out here and possibly get some outside advice & insight from STer's than to explode at DH & skids. DH knows there's a website I frequent, but to my knowledge he's never tried to find it.

Well, I haven't really posted anything here that I haven't already said to H, but I would still hate for him to read it here because the tone of frustration behind most of my "vents" combined with the fact that it is being "shared with the public" (albeit anonymously) would probably make him more angry even if he's already heard it from me before.

However, I have actually told H that I am a member of SP site online where I can go to vent and understand how to deal with my situation better. This was not a shock to him because he already knew I was a member of a Single Parents site similar to this before we got married. I didn't tell H WHICH site exactly, but I guess if he really wanted to he could try to seek it out read the posts until he found the one that "sounds" like our sitch, but my H really doesn't care that much to "monitor" what I do online, and that is definitely one of the positives in our marriage that we both trust each other completely and are usually very open about our thoughts and activities (sometimes too open!) Lol!

I don't think it's deceitful. DH doesn't disclose every detail he discusses with other people. I wouldn't expect him too. He doesn't wish to drop what he's doing to let me vent when I feel I want to, so I come here. He's aware of the issues we have. We discuss them between us as needed. I tend to need to talk them out more than he does, for my own satisfaction. I can do that here.

Now if I was on here trolling for some booty…that would be deceitful.

OMG...I know this is serious but that made me laugh... It is my therapy too.

When I joined this site, I told DH about it. Partly because I had found some solid advice about a few issues that I wanted to share with him. And partly because I didn't want him to think that I was being deceitful. Trust is a big deal in our marriage and I didn't want to break that trust.

My DH doesn't know that I belong to this site and I won't tell him about it unless he asks. I vent on here about HIS children. I have none of my own and he's always telling me how shitty of a mother I would be if I had my own because I have no patience or understanding for his kids. I do just fine with my niece and nephew because I choose to visit them and he doesn't like little kids. If they're not at the age to do things with he sees them as boring and chooses to stay home. I do not choose to have my skids over EVERY WEEKEND. I don't choose to do a ton of dishes only on weekends. I do not choose to have them complain about dirty clothes that havent' been washed since their last visit - i remind them where the laundry room is and they'd have a better shot of clean clothes if they could figure out how to bring clothes to the room. I don't dirty them I'm not going to go hunting to make sure a 15 and 17 year old have clothes. Get off your ass. I choose to come to this site so I could talk to someone granted I have no faces to go by - which is almost easeir. I need this place to vent about what irritates me because when I complain about all the dirty dishes, skids laziness, my stress it irritates DH because he sees nothing wrong with HIS BOYS so all it does is cause resentment from him towards me for not accepting his children. He doesn't hear what i believe can help ease the tension aka bitchiness from me toward them. This site if filled with others that understand and I love it! I'm happier since finding it because I can still vent and have discussions with people that care and it doesn't negatively affect my relationship with DH other than he sees me as happier too. thank you!

He knows I'm here. At first I showed him lots of the blogs or read bits to him but he got bored with it pretty quickly. I might still tell him about some of the more interesting ones. I wouldn't care if he read it. I don't say anything here about him or his kids that I haven't already said to him.

No I don;t think it is at all. I have to tell you when I first got married I was having a lot of issues about the boys and i went to a site kinda like this and they helped me through them. I also have to say that my dh noticed the difference in me too. HE said that he was happy I could get things out and get advise and a different view. We couldn't afford counseling so this was the next best thing. If it hadn't been for that site I wouldn't have seen a different point of view or changed myself for the better. It helped us be better parents and me a better sm and to better deal with bm. Plus all the laws and rights and what he could and couldn't do helped us a lot.