Is there another way?
DH and I pay 50/50 for everything. House, house bills, groceries…yada, yada, yada. But I don’t want to pay half for groceries anymore.
My daughter works full time and goes to school full time. My son works part time, school full time and plays baseball year round. No school for summer right now) They eat at our house MAYBE 2 time a month. That is not bending the truth. My daughter may eat fruit if I buy it. Neither one of them eats breakfast and are only here for dinner maybe once every few weeks. No lunches ever. They are usually not there for that either.
I bring, a sandwich, or soup, or lean pocket for lunch and that is all I eat from our house, I do not eat breakfast or dinner either. Me and my kids eat about 20 dollars worth of food a week.
DH eats a small breakfast, cereal, and a LARGE dinner EVERYNIGHT. SS eats a large Breakfast…(4 waffles, 2 bowls of cereal, and 2 bananas). Lunch is 2-4 sandwiches. Or 2-4 frozen dinners. Then he eats a LARGE dinner with DH about 3-4 nights a week. How this boy is not 500lb is beyond me!!
Since SS moved in, I have tried to get DH to go to the store, I have tried to get him to cook at least 2 times a week. He never did.
DH asked me last night, (in a snotty tone,) (very un DH like) what I was going to cook for dinner and when was I going to the grocery store since we were getting low on a lot of things. I almost fell out of my chair.
I told him that I was done with that. I told him that he and SS are on their own. I am done, buying the groceries, done paying for the groceries, done cooking the groceries and done cleaning up after the groceries are cooked. There is no reason for me to run myself ragged and get no help. I am done with that.
DH said he would take over all of that. I am tired of feeling taken advantage of by DH and SS. SS has NO boundaries with anything and been told OVER AND OVER to moderate him self. Don’t sit and eat a jar of pickles at one setting, or drink 3 DR Peppers at one setting. He does not listen and DH does nothing about it.
Since DH and I got married, I always cooked for him. I always did the groceries shopping. Since SS has been here, (5 or so months) it has just been so f ing hard to keep up with it all.
But I am starting to feel a bit bad about it. Arrggg. I don't want to step back in, and I know if I try, I will end up doing it all again. Is there a middle ground?
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Comments
I'm in the same position,
I'm in the same position, kind of. My BF has a 10 year-old daughter who spends most of her time with us, so I don't believe I should be splitting bills 50/50 either. However, every time I try to put together a case for why I shouldn't, I come up with something he could say back, like 'Yeah, she uses the water and electric you pay for, but you're the only reason we bought internet service, so that bill is just for you' or 'She doesn't really eat that much at the house because I buy her food when she eats out (which is way too often) and I take you out to eat, too (even though I usually don't want to).
I found myself almost having to put together an excel spreadsheet to calculate every nickel that everyone really spends, so I just gave up.
But thats my situation-maybe you're positive that you're paying too much for groceries. As long as you consider things like work/chores he does around the house in exchange for your meal preparation and clean-up, or if he ever supported your children while (if) they were living with you.
I understand you completely.
I understand you completely. The burden of grocery shopping and cooking is on me as well, then 22yo loser SS comes to stay for a few days = 10 weeks, he thinks I am his maid and personal assistant. He eats like a horse but would not buy any groceries. I am SO tired of this moocher.
He eats like a horse but
He eats like a horse but would not buy any groceries. I am SO tired of this moocher.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My SS has a part time job, so he always has money. He is 17. He called my DH at work the the other day and told him that he was going to eat at Burger King because we did not have anything he liked in the house.
DH said ok that is fine...then SS told DH..."you are going to pay me back for the money I spend at burger king aren't you?"
LOL!!! DH told him no, but I secretly wonder if he did pay him for it. My son is the same age and he would never ask something so stupid.
I won this battle when DH
I won this battle when DH realized SS10 was feeding all the kids in the neighorhood. I now only buy groceries for myself.
Groceries can get pricey...my
Groceries can get pricey...my DH doesn't do this now, but when we lived in the backyard at his mom's all she ever cooked was vegetables from the farm, rice and the ocassional piece of chicken..he'd want to barbecue and buy ribs, sausage, steaks...and never failed his sister would invite nasty boyfriend over, and mom would invite 2-3 couples (brothers and spouses)...i finally put my foot down.
His daughter also ate all day...whether hungry or not...that was years ago...
Now it's just us!
This is an ongoing problem at
This is an ongoing problem at our house too! FH and I pretty much split the grocery bill. Skids do not understand portion control at all! They will sit and eat a whole pack of cookies afterschool one day. They eat 2-3 sandwiches afterschool, drink all of our drinks, you name it. Then FH doesn't understand why the skids aren't hungry when it comes to dinner time. Finally he had enough of it, only after me complaining to him about it all the time. He told them that 2-3 sandwiches etc. is NOT a snack! I eat alot of healthier foods, like protein bars, fruit, vegetables, etc. So they have been told 86765315676987 times that those items are mine and they are not to eat them, they ate a whole box of protein bars in 2 days, something that will last me at least a week and a half! Then I found some of my snack foods in SD's closet! The dog kept sniffing around I was wondering WTF, then she came out with a pack of crackers in her mouth, low and behold she is hording MY food in her closet, yuck! That was my breaking point. I have to hide any of my food now, it was already on the very top shelf where they can't reach, but now I have to put it elsewhere, and I quit buying soda and snack foods. Our grocery bill is down, but FH will complain all the time that we don't have any food. Well we still have enough, we just don't have near what we used to because I refuse to have the skids eating like hogs at my house! I don't blame you for not wanting to split the bill, I don't either! FH is responsible for anything above what we need for his kids because my day of doing it is done. FH hates the grocery store, so they end up without their precious high fat/high sugar snack garbage, which isn't hurting my feelings any!
We went through the buying
We went through the buying extra and special food for ss19 I stopped buying much at the store and what I did buy was what he wouldn't eat. It was rough on me but he had to buy his own cocoa puffs. Daddy wasn't happy at first but I told him we can't afford to buy special food for an adult who refuses to work and I'm not doing it. Also told him SS needed to learn to go to a grocery store and god forbid maybe fill out an application for a job. SS was never told he couldn't eat here, but he ate when we did and what we did. I'm going off target here. If I were you I wouldn't want to split the bill either.