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BM freaked out in public at Meet the teacher night, over MY name change. Poor SS!

Yosemite's picture

Apparently BM didn't know I was changing my last name to DH's last name. At Meet the Teacher last night for SS stb 11, DH introduced himself to teacher as SS's father Firstname Lastname, then said this is SS's stepmom Yosemite DHlastname. BM was standing right there and says "You took his last name? I don't want you having the same last name as SS. Everyone is going to be confused by that. How could you do this without talking to me?! Or at least telling me? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Her voice was rising as she was speaking so that she was practically yelling by the end of it. Everyone in the room got quiet and was looking at us. SS looked completely mortified and DH quickly said "Let's talk about it when we leave" Then BM spent the rest of the time looking like she was going to cry.
The funny part is that I really didn't want to take DH's name but he insisted. It doesn't even feel like my name yet and now it seems it will be a source of BM drama. That's the problem with the step thing, it's like a minefield and you never know when something is going to blow up. FML.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

That's just dumb. Her reasoning for being THAT upset is that "people will be confused" come on now what a dumb ass to make such a scene over something so stupid. You're married, that's what a married woman does, take her husbands last name. Why the fuck would you need to "consult" with this idiot first? Good Lord almighty!

Jsmom's picture

I didn't want DH's last name. No way in hell did I want to be associated with BM and my loon of a SD. Change it back if you don't want it and after that, there is no way I would use it and have anyone think I was related to that kind of crazy.

DaizyDuke's picture

Ew, true! I never thought of that. DH was never married to either skank BM so I didn't have that issue, BUT it DOES bother me to have the same last name as idiot skids... however I am lucky that it is a VERY common name, so nobody bothers to just assume by the last name that we are related in any way.

I don't know that I would change my name back though if I was poster.... to me that would be a win for BM since she made such a stink about it.

ItHasGottenBetter's picture

I checked into changing my name back after my DH died..costs about 200+ dollars. I thought with him passing away, it would be easy and cheap.

HungryEyes's picture

BM told DH at one point before we married that if I took his name, she would have the skids last names changed. There was no WAY she would let people think I was their Mom. (HA~ YES that's what I want...NO!)

But she did give her next baby (who was NOT my husbands) his last name which really pissed me off to no end.

I guess to BM - last names for children are just a way to hurt other people.

milldog's picture

First of all, I feel sorry for your ss. I am sure he was mortified. His mother has no self control.

You and your DH are under NO obligation to discuss any of your personal decisions with BM. You are his wife, so of course you have the right to take his name if that is what you want. Did she not do that when they married??Absolutly none of her business, and I hope your DH told her that when away from the school function. She clearly still has a thing for your DH and I hope he discourages this with every ounce of his being.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

HAHA If SO and I ever get married I will so be taking his name and I know it will send BM over the edge. As a matter of fact the 13 year old teenage girl who still lives in me is doing just for that reason. See not only will I have the same last name as her kids, it's something she NEVER had since her and SO were NEVER married. Thank you sweet baby Jesus. LOL I wouldn't have been able to control my laughter at her if that was our BM.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Justanothergurl - Our BM was never married to DH either and she really lost it when we got married. She told her kids that he had no business marrying me because SHE gave him TWO kids and he didn't marry her so why in the world would he marry ME?
It was quite funny to hear that she said that.
She used to sign his last name on letters she would write him. LOL!

justanothergurlNJ's picture

LOL I can't with these BM's after a year of couples therapy and an 18 month separation, things are slowing changing, but I have adopted the "the not my monkeys, not my circus" mantra. If it doesn't affect MY free time, MY money or my peace I don't want to know about it. I can't for the sake of our relationship I can not be his support system.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Ok....that is so funny.....that is awesome. OMG.

misSTEP's picture

Our BM freaked out too. Mainly because she didn't know we were getting married (because we didn't want her DRAMA) and because the fact that my DH wouldn't marry HER was a major bone of contention in their relationship.

Things are changing but it is still more the norm for a wife to take her husband's last name. What a control freak idiot.

ChiefGrownup's picture

And yet more evidence that stepmothers apparently don't have "real" marriages. Of course, they don't, they're not "real" people, are they? They have no home, no actual husband, and certainly no rights.

What they have is the grand pleasure of becoming the punching bag for everyone in a previously existing dysfunctional family. What an honor.

Some strange woman gets to now tell you what you get to call yourself. Just peachy. A new low for stepmotherkind.

Shaman29's picture

Seriously?? The BM said that you should have checked with her first??

I would have laughed in her face.

BTW - I didn't take H's name. The only people that protested were my own family members. No one else cared. Especially H. With the exception of a brief marriage when I was too young, my last name was my maiden name for 40 years. Wasn't interested in changing it.

zerostepdrama's picture

I'm sure it bothers BM and the skids that I have DH's last name. It means I exist in DH's life and I am not "just the GF".

luchay's picture

OMG - what a loon.

You know the old fashioned habit of a married woman signing Mrs Fred Smith (just for the sake of having a name) - BM still does this.

She signs everything (that we see - school stuff, legal papers etc) Mrs OH's first and last name.

LOL

I know she will go BS crazy if and when OH and I get married and I take his last name. I am sure she will react in just this way.

So ridiculous and OTT - seriously, these women need to get over themselves.

Hmmmm - LOL - just occurred to me - my ex got married at the beginning of last month - his fiancé had a long Italian name, his is a very short and simple name, I wonder if she changed her name? Don't care - doesn't affect me either way though ...

luchay's picture

LOL - no, Mrs MY OH's name.....

But it's "FOR THE CHILDREN" don't you know......

We don't care, stupid cow.

No, they are officially separated (for many years now, but not officially divorced yet - she is dragging that out....) not sure how her current BF feels about it. I wouldn't want to be with someone who still considered themselves married to their ex.

It's all "for the sake of the children" - so they/people don't get confused, so they all are unified and know that mummy and daddy were married and loved each other and all that sort of associated BS.

Meh, whatever.

WTF...REALLY's picture

So many thoughts running in my mind....like...poor kid....poor teacher....so much for making friends with the other moms...awesome seeing bm freak out and make a fool of herself. BAWHAHAHAHA....enjoy the freak out in your mind whenever the bm gets on your nerves.....

MamaFox's picture

I hope our BM freaks out like this. She still calls FDH "my one true love" and "my real husband", when we are on the phone with the Skids.

(We go on speaker phone, so I'm not actually interrupting the phone calls with FDH and the skids.)

I got irritated the other day and just flat out said "Well, She's married again, so maybe she should ask her HUSBAND what he thinks of how she feels." OSS was laughing so hard BM's H actually asked him what was so funny.