How is it unfair that just because BS stb 13 earned money and bought his own sh*t, I am still getting him birthday presents?!
SO is bitching cause I am planning to give BS a laptop for his 13th Bday. We have completely separate finances, so this is not coming out of his pocket in any way. BS spent a month in the summer working and some weekends since doing odd jobs for friends and family. BS earned enough to buy himself an XBox 360, which he bought the week after Christmas, once he saw we didn't get it for him, lol. He also spent his entire winter break (other than Christmas eve/day) at his aunt's to help her pack/clean/paint/move/unpack. She bought him an IPAD mini for his trouble.
BS's bday is this weekend. I am throwing him a party and plan to buy him a laptop. SO says it's too many expensive things in a short time and that SS9 will feel left out. Problem is SS9 had the same opportunity to do odd jobs and turned it down every time. SS9 could not have gone to my sisters for 2 weeks, but I doubt he would have if he could. And I don't see how I could justify not getting my BS a nice gift just because he earned other nice things close to his birthday?! Also, BS is in all honor classes and really needs his own computer for school.
As to the issue of fairness, my BS does not have a relationship with his biodad/biodad's family. SS9 gets two sets of Christmas and birthday presents every year in addition to nice things from us.
I think SO is bothered because money is tight for him right now. But I made sure all the kids, SS9 and SD 19 included got nice things for Christmas. SS9 got nice things on his birthday back in August. So what's the issue with BS getting nice things on his birthday?
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Your kid, your money, buy him
Your kid, your money, buy him what you want. The nerve...
This is how I feel but I am
This is how I feel but I am really trying hard not to rub money in SO's face right now. He had surgery and money is tight for him. But I earned every cent, I don't even get CS so I feel like no one has the right to tell me what to do with it. I want to be considerate of his feeling, but shit like this is ridiculous and it's soooo hard to bite my tongue!
Your son purchased his own
Your son purchased his own "expensive" item & earned another from working. He was rewarded for his efforts. This fact should not take away from what YOU want to do for YOUR son's birthday.
If the situation were reversed & SS was the one working his butt off for what he wanted, would your SO insist on NOT getting him something nice for his birthday?
I'm sorry but your SO is being a D-bag!
Your dh is acting like a
Your dh is acting like a brat. No wonder why ss will feel left as his dad is sending him that vibe. So ot will be projected to ss to think that way. Instead of explaining it to ss that bd earned those things and he could too. It's all in how the parents handle it with the kids. This is dh fault foe not being a dad!
I agree with you. SO is
I agree with you. SO is normally a very good dad but he is missing the boat on this one. I don't let BS feel sorry for himself when SS9 is getting two sets of presents. I just tell BS it is what it is, there's no point being upset about it. If you want things I haven't provided, you are going to have to work for them. And he has. So I really can't see punishing him for working. It's stupid.
Sounds like your son will
Sounds like your son will grow up and know the value of a dollar. Sounds like he will work for the things he wants. SS... will feel like everything is owed to him. Buy him the laptop. At 13, he sounds like more of a little man than some of the husbands on here!!!
Your son bought/worked for
Your son bought/worked for those things himself!
Get him whatever you want to for his birthday! Hell, I'd be tempted to go buy him a few games for his new XBox in addition to the laptop after that display of crappiness from your SO!!!
Sounds like Obamanomics. 1/2
Sounds like Obamanomics. 1/2 the people earn and everyone gets the same luxuries! yee haw!
OH I wish I had thought to
OH I wish I had thought to say this! SO hates Obama!
Save it. Someday he will say
Save it. Someday he will say something about the unfairness of your son and his son or he'll start bitching about Obama and it will open the door to open his eyes about how he is very much like Mr. Obama in one regard! }:)
I don't hate Obama.I am sick of hearing "the rich need to pay their fair share", which is a loaded statement to pit classes against each other. I am sick of the re-distribution of wealth by way of taxes. BUT I am also sick of Republicans and their right wing crazies! I'm fed up with the entire lot of them in Washington.
DO what you want...Separate
DO what you want...Separate money, means this is not even a discussion....
That's what I thought
That's what I thought too....but I don't want him to be resentful so I try to discuss things. I hate fighting about money or money related things. I don't ask anyone to pay my way and I don't want to explain myself to anyone, SO included. But I love him so sometimes I am forced to discuss things I don't want to. Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy but pissing me off today.