Stepdad With Stepdaughter Problem
I originally posted this in the general discussion forum, but someone suggested I share it here as well. Am I the only only one in the world having this problem? Surely not.
So, I've been with my wife as a couple for almost 6 years, we've lived together and been married around 3 1/2 years. So, I've been in my stepdaughter's life since she was 7. She is now 13. I see a ton of women on here with problems with their husbands' daughters, but what about men who's wives' daughter is a problem? I feel like I got a year and a half maybe two years of what seemed to be a sweet young lady, but since she was about 9 or around 10 she has progressively become more of the attitudinal, over dramatic pre-teen teenager. (Sidenote:I have no boilogical children of my own and they are never going to be an option in my marriage.) She's rude and disrespectful towards me and her mother, but 90% of the time when I try to correct her it turns into an all out screaming match, it seems, and then I wind up getting scolded by her mother, usually in front of our daughter(this infuriates me). I often feel that as a step parent i have absolutely no control in the house that i work hard to pay for and work hard at upkeeping. It really does depress me quite often that I always seem to be turned into the bad guy in my own house all of the time and there is no where to go and nobody to talk to about it.
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Your problem seems to be more
Your problem seems to be more with your wife than your stepdaughter. Your wife should be demanding that her D treat you with respect, obey house rules etc. She should always have your back and never scold you in front of her child. Teenagers (and preteens) are a PITA, but well parented teens are tolerable. This one doesn't sound well parented, and that's on your wife. That's where I'd be starting. It might be easiest to address with a good counselor.
I love this reply, that's
I love this reply, that's exactly it. Every thing about this is 100%
If I was you I'd speak to
If I was you I'd speak to your wife about that.
when I first became a step parent one of the 3 kids, the eldest was so rude and disrespectful and I'd tell him it wasn't acceptable. At first my fiancé would say oh no leave my precious first born alone, he's my only son blah blah blah. I told her straight up if the tables were turned I wouldn't have my kids talking to my partner or anyone like that. When she sat down and thought about it she realised and he's never been disrespectful to me since, not on purpose anyway. He has a thing about speaking before he thinks and sometimes I do find him rude but I know now 95% it's not on purpose.
I think it's made worse because you contribute a lot to the household as well and she can't be telling you off in front of kid(s) because it just makes you look like a mug and some kids will wind you up just to see you get in trouble.
My step son saw me laying on the sofa with a blanket about a year ago ( I was just relaxing) and he genuinely said 'did you get into trouble with mum' and I thought to myself if you don't get out of this room right now..