SS has the brain of a Goldfish
I want to scream. SS18 is one of the most idiotic kids I have ever met in my life. He is like a 12yr old in an 18yr old's body. After forcing a text go through Do Not Disturb a week or so ago at 12:30am on a weeknight asking DH how far down a condom should go on, (it didn't wake DH up, but it did wake me up so I saw it), he called DH last night in a panic.
SS's gf, who lives in our state, just got back from visiting SS at college across the country with her mom. She is a Jr. in high school and just turned 17. We are not thrilled about the situation as all of a sudden this relationship got serious right before he left for college and now his focus is here, on her. Anyway, he told DH last night that they had sex, and the FIRST TIME they did it, he wore a condom, but she "wanted to see how it felt without one", so he TOOK IT OFF and they had sex without a condom for a while!!!!! Then he put one back on and finished. And she is not on ANY birth control!! WTF are you doing?!?! The one thing DH has lectured him about repeatedly is how he ALWAYS, under all circumstances, needs to wear a condom, even if the girl says they are on birth control! DH bought him boxes of condoms! So SS was freaking out, worried she might be pregnant. Her family is very religious and would never allow an abortion, if you can even get one these days, and it has been days and she didn't get a Plan B. DH sat there consoling him telling him it will be fine, he's overthinking it, blah blah blah, which honestly annoys me because NO, he should freak out, and he shouldn't have done it in the first place. And he needs to make sure she gets a Plan B! DH did tell him to talk to her and make sure she gets it. But she needs to get it NOW. DH said if she ends up pregnant he will drive her to get an abortion himself. Also, the state SS is in has a Romeo and Juliet law so the 17/18 thing isn't as big of an issue there, but in our state, it can be an issue.
Apparently SS's gf's parents thought that her and SS had sex when SS was home last month, and told her that if she got pregnant he would need to move back up here and marry her and help support the baby. If there is one thing DH and I agree on, it's that they would not be living with us, with a baby.
DH said he thinks SS will break up with her soon, assuming she isn't pregnant, because that's how he was as a teen. I think that's wishful thinking. There are no signs of that. I asked if SS is coming home for Christmas and he said he doesn't know. I asked if he wants him to and he said not really, he doesn't want him to be around his gf. Which, I get but it's not like he won't find a way to come home and see her. And although I am over SS's shenanigans, I do feel bad if he was there alone for Christmas. But DH can figure it out because at this point I am OVER this kid. He literally cannot figure out anything on his own, he calls DH for everything.
Just the other day he had to call DH and have him walk him through how to set up the beacon for his car insurance to save $, even though the app walks you through all of the instructions step by step and it's SO easy. SS is going to a STEM school! He had to call DH to ask how to put on a condom! For God's sake, Google!!!
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I told my son (23) how much
I told my son (23) how much my SO has paid in child support to 2 women who are both married to other men, and how he will continue to pay until he is over 60. I hope he got the message. Sounds like your SS is on the Disney Daddy sucker path already.
What planet is your husband
What planet is your husband living on? It'll all be fine? He'll drive the daughter of parents who will disown her to get an abortion? Doesn't he follow the news? How and where does he imagine he can just mosey up and ask for an abortion for a minor who isn't even his daughter? Gawd, words fail me.
In Texas that could get him arrested and sued...
In Texas that could get him arrested and sued...
I too am at a loss
I told him reassuring him like this was mind-blowing. He said he doesn't want him focusing just on this and failing school, and that he told him repeatedly he needs to tell his GF to get Plan B. And if for some reason she doesn't or it doesn't work, he will do whatever he can to make sure she does not have a baby and drive her himself. I'm like yeah it is not that easy. He thinks if she does get pregnant her family is the type to adopt it themselves. I'm like oh FFS. You think that's how this will work? I said she will not just give up her kid. SS will not either. Even if he is terrified and wants no part of a kid now. He will cave and be a part of it's life. There will be no "letting her parents adopt it". Jesus DH. Idk what world he is living in. Time for some hard facts and to make sure SS knows what could happen, so that he ensures she gets a Plan B pill!
SHE wanted him to take off
SHE wanted him to take off the condom? Seriously? Either she is as stupid as he is or she's already pregnant and needs a daddy. Or he's lying (why would he lie? No answer required).
Lying liar
I don't believe him for one second. He lies about everything.
"he will do whatever he can
"he will do whatever he can to make sure she does not have a baby and drive her himself"
He'd better make sure his passport is up to date, hers too.
What's his plan if she decides to keep the baby and her parents throw her out?
Like you said, a 12 yr old in
Like you said, a 12 yr old in an 18 yr old's body.
Lol i know, i was like either
Lol i know, i was like either Dad fk'd up and bought finger cots or SS is the next John Holmes. I guess when the Lord giveth, he also taketh away (his brains!)
Pffffft. An ex boyfriend
Pffffft. An ex boyfriend tried to convince me that the condoms were too small so we should skip it and he'd pull out in time. I proceeded to unwrap the condom, pull it up over my size 9 foot, and almost to my calf. He got the NO Glove, No Love message fast.
I can testify to their
I can testify to their incredible stretchability, too. When I was a student, I came home to a prank played by a flatmate's boyfriend (we spent the entire summer doing stupid stuff like this). He had placed a water-filled condom on my bed. It was HUGE, nearly 3 ft long and as much, if not more in circumference! It was impossible to move for fear of it exploding under the pressure. I eventually worked out that I had to roll it carefully onto a towel and carry it to the bathroom to dispose of it. All went well until I flung the thing into the bath where it promptly exploded producing a tidal wave that swept over me from head to foot. Gawd, did he laugh!
All that to say that condoms have incredible stretchability.
Bahahaha
Finger cots! My money is on SS not knowing how to put it on properly, mainly because my brain simply cannot think of SS's "weiner", and also the aforementioned Goldfish brain
This is crazy on so many
This is crazy on so many levels. Not the least of which is that SS called his dad about this. I'm dead. Does he not have any friends to talk to? I mean, I want my daughter to be open with me, but the detailed description of using the condom, taking it off for a bit to see how it felt, and then putting one on to finish? Just, ewww. No. Thats's TMI. He could've just summed it up by saying, "dad I was an idiot and had unprotected sex." Geez.
I understand your husband not wanting SS to obsess over it, but you're right that he needs to let him squirm until that poor girl gets her period. Hopefully that fear will be enough to keep both of them from being such idiots again in the future.
Like Clevon from Idiocracy.
Like Clevon from Idiocracy.
Also, he is in a fraternity
Also, he is in a fraternity and has TONS of friends.
Yea, I'm not sure if I'm
Yea, I'm not sure if I'm more appalled by the detailed conversation (vomit) or the fact that SS could be charged with statutory rape, depending on your location, and his open willingness to impregnate someone, especially a high school student. My god!
It boggles the mind
This has been my entire life with SS. Going to daddy for every single thing, because he literally cannot figure out how to do anything and will not ask anyone but DH. He texts DH constantly about everything. Having zero common sense, and then doing things that make you just really think how is that possible. The text about using a condom really was the icing on the cake. Rather than Google or ask a friend, he would rather try and wake DH up on a work night. Did I mention he is selfish and cares about no one but himself? Because there's also that.
Although nowhere as serious
Than mindlessly procreating, with the emphasis on mindless, I hired a 39-year-old young man who was down on his luck to do some sanding with an orbital hand sander. The battery went dead in less than an hour of sanding after being recharged the night before.
I was shocked at this because normally I can get the battery to last a good 8 hours of sanding. When I picked the sander back up after he had left, I noticed that he had not lined up the sanding holes on the sand paper to the sander's holes, which would cause the sander to overheat and he had not dumped the sander bag contents! Thus early drain on the battery!
I mean how obvious is it to see the little holes in the sanding pads match up with the little holes on the sander!!??? That should be intuitive; I should not have to tell somebody to do that!!!!
The next day he was asking if he and his rather lazy wife could help me and that they were looking for work. No thanks, I'll do it myself and or get the other person that we normally hire.
Classic SS move
This is exactly the kind of thing SS would do. You can not give him one single task, even at this age, without him needing it completely explained, even the very obvious parts. Zero common sense.
A lot of us did dumb things
A lot of us did dumb things when we were younger. What gets me about this situation is how OP's husband is too busy trying to be his son's friend/locker room buddy to act like a parent. I didn't tell my parents the graphic details of the many mistakes i made. Probably because they would have told me i was an idiot and how i needed to make better choices. They would have been 100% correct, too. Also, that sounds very traumatizing, what happened to you and your ex in college. I had a few friends who voluntarily ended pregnancies and they suffered a lot of emotional trauma from it.
Not saying that SS isn't a
Not saying that SS isn't a complete and total idiot because he most definitely is, but this also screams fishy on the GF's side. To want him to "take it off," to not be on birth control, and to not get Plan B despite the risk of pregnancy. This screams trap to me, and I only know firsthand because this is eerily similar to how DH ended up with SS12. Oh and the parents demanding SS return home and marry their sweet daughter if she is pregnant; exactly what GF would want. If she feels their relationship is failing or college is making SS pull away, she may be desperate enough to try something like this.
Our BM was in a troubled spot, thought a baby would fix everything and be fun, manipulated her birth control and lied to DH about it, "played it cool" and didnt want to panic or get Plan B, and BAM, she was pregnant with SS12 at 19. The only difference is, BM didn't really want DH (or any BD), she just wanted a donor and hoped that DH would run for the hills once SS was born, giving her SS all to herself (which obviously didn't/won't happen).
Crossed my mind also
But it's also strange that "she wanted to see how it felt without one". And I'm more apt to believe that SS "wanted to feel how it felt without one", because SS is a liar. It honestly could be either at this point, and who knows, her parents could have even given her the idea when they thought they had sex when he was home last month and told her if she was pregnant he would need to move back here and marry her and help raise the baby. She may have thought, wait a damn minute, that isn't a half bad idea... but it's just as likely that the taking off of the condom was SS's idea and he's blaming it on her because he knew DH would ream him out, and SS lies about everything. Either way, SS knows better and he's a GD idiot for doing it. A baby would ruin his entire career. I don't know what he was thinking.
I cannot, for the life of me,
I cannot, for the life of me, imagine that any young woman with a brain, knowing the risk of pregnancy, would want to feel how it felt without a condom.
18 yo male
Doesn't want to tell any of his friends. He hasn't had sex with a girl yet. That he needs advice on using a condom. Is like putting a loser sing on his forehead. Bet there's a YouTube on how to. Besides the girl should be on BC also. Condom are not any good is the whole day isn't followed ,
As second time. If did not clean up totally. Goes in bareback for a few minutes, I just feel so much better with out. It's hard not to do it. That's where you get failer with condoms. If GF is on BC this type of failer is taken care of.
Sounds like GF is hopeful she
Sounds like GF is hopeful she will get to be the next generation of Teen Mom and SS is stupid enough to have gone along with it.
Or SS is a liar and it was
Or SS is a liar and it was his idea, not hers. Both are possible. I have an easier time believing he would lie than I do imagining this really nice girl asking him to take off a condom....