any advice....?
Boyfriend's ex is basically a sheep wearing wolves clothing.... and my trust in him is not too high because of some past issues between us that I"m not quite over.... but I'm working on.
In a nutshell, his ex is making subtle passes at him now that she is single. and I'm worried to death he will go back to her for the sake of his son. He and I tried talking about this, but between his exW calling him 3 times back-to-back (he finally answered the third time) I never got any straight answers from him about what he wants for his life. I asked what he will do when she says she wants to rekindle, and then he turned it around and asked me "what would u do if your ex wanted to rekindle". And gthen his youngest vomitted all over and I just went home while he took care of him.
I did a knee-jerk thing the next day and broke up with him. He was irate that I would do this to him and his kids. Yet, his kids barely know me, they don't even know my name and think I am just a friend. They are 6 and 5 and I've only been around them 4-5 times.
when i cooled off today, I told him I would like to talk. He said no, that I have too many issues and I need to make changes within. I asked what issues I have other than trust issues. I also pointed out that he needs "to get over himself and stop with name calling all the time. That if he were issue free, he wouldn't need his self-help book that he calls his bible." I was being matter-of-fact ,not hateful. He is constantly calling people crazy and it is bothersome to me, so I thought I would point out that he is not perfect if he needs a self-help book.
Well, he went OFF. He told me that I am NUTS to say "get over youself" and to leave him alone!!!!!!
Was this warranted, ladies? WTH? I don't know what to do. I love him so much, but his past history of cheating and him not being able to give me straight answers about his exW makes me sit on pins and needles. It would have been great if he said to me along the lines of "I'm over her and love you" or something like that. But I didn't get that and it made me uncomfortable. So why I am sucha bad person?
You're not a bad
You're not a bad person.
Good-bye pins and needles.
Hello comfy chair
You're not bad or evil. Read
You're not bad or evil.
Read some of the blogs here. Things can get much, much worse as the kids get older. You aren't married to this guy, and you don't have kids with him. Now seems like a good time to get out of this situation.
thanx u guys. I felt terrible
thanx u guys. I felt terrible for breaking up with him and then a day later saying I wanted to talk....I was just soooo emotional, but that doesn't make me "crazy or unstable or nuts"
Last year I began getting FB messages from some girl who claims she was sleeping with him. And then somehow this girl got my number and called me. I thought nothing of any of it because he told me not to.... that she is a crazy ex of his. And then I had my number changed and only he and my immediate family had my new number. Yet, this girl got it and called me again. How did she get my number? Probably from snooping thru his phone. Which means they were together at some point. Well, I broke up with him and we stayed broken up for several months because I began dating someone else. But we rekindled and I've never gotten straight answers from him about her. Hence, trust issues.
He said it insults him and his kids whenever I break up with him.
"and then he turned it around
"and then he turned it around and asked me "what would u do if your ex wanted to rekindle".
This speaks volumes. It sounds like he's considering going back to her. Look at his actions...that will show you who he is. He can say anything...words mean nothing if not backed up with actions. If he cannot give you a straight answer, head for the hills. There is a book I read when I was dating that saved me SO much heartache. You've probably heard of it..."He's Just Not That Into You". Read it.
You're not a bad person. Women are emotional beings...that's how we're made. It doesn't make us nuts. What makes us nuts is staying with men who don't deserve our love! I'm speaking in the past for myself as I've found a wonderful man now, but I dated a few losers before I found him!
Think about this...if you're having this much trouble with the relationship now, when it's newer and should be the BEST, what's going to happen down the line? Good luck!!
You are not a bad person.
You are not a bad person.
Why don't you do nothing, let the chips fall where they may. In the end, you will see you dodged a bullet.
He sounds really scattered.
You are definitely NOT a bad
You are definitely NOT a bad person! I had a very similar issue with my husband and his ex partner when we first got together. If I could go back and do things differently I would have got out of the relationship back then when I had the chance. We have since moved house, changed our numbers and only have contact with BM through my husbands sister, but it has taken 3 years and ALOT of drama and heartbreak to get to this point. We now have a beautiful son and have been married for nearly two years but once contact with his ex was cut, other issues soon arouse. I hold resentment towards his children and hate being a step mother, they remind me of their mother and all the trouble she caused and how she will ALWAYS be a part of his and their lives. I'm still trying to overcome these issues but it's proving to be extremely difficult. I love my son so much and do not regret having him for one second but if I could do it over again I would NEVER get involved with someone with children. I suppose each situation is different and only you can decide, is it all worth it? Hope my story helps x