Do you mean she gave her permission to have sex?

Sounds like our BM. That is why she lives with her now and not us. We had too many rules. DH grounded her for lying about having a boyfriend for a year and BM encouraged her to lie to dad about it. Needless to say a court case later and SD doesn't live here and if she asks to come back I am leaving...

Gotta love BM's that want to be friends with their kids.

I think that was the whole point. It sounds to me as if the girl is sexually active and mom is trying the best she can to offer some sort of protection from an unwanted pregnancy. I am of the mind that I would rather equip my children with the knowledge and the precautionary meds rather than my child having a child.

In todays society of dual incomes, divorces and latchkey kids, it is quite difficult to be everywhere at once. We can't watch them 24/7. Not everyone agrees with this, but it really is a parental decision and if she is the primary parental custodian, its her responsibility to prepare her child whatever way she sees fit.

Totalybogus I was thinking the same thing. I did that with my dd. Only I told her that I was not in any way telling her I gave permission only that I felt that she needed the info and 'stuff' to handle the situation if she found herself in one. I also explained what a child cold do to her future and the like.

I don;t really know what all this mom told her child but at this point it sounds like she is trying to prevent her child from having a child. As for the gma :jawdrop:

My mom started talking to me about sex when I was 11 (my older sister was 14 so she had "the talk" w both of us) and she showed me how to use a condom and everything. She talked to me about it again when it came time for her to have the talk with my younger sister. I did not feel that she was in any way giving me permission to have sex, she just wanted me to have some knowledge on the subject and to be careful. Both of my sisters, who received the same sex-ed from my mom, as well as myself waited until we were older to have sex and when I finally did I was very glad that my mom had told me about all my options and had told me about the consequences.

I don't know what BM told SD and if she actually said "go ahead," obviously that is not appropriate but if she found of SD was having sex I think it is a much more appropriate response to enlighten her as to her options and consequences than to forbid it (which would probably go in one ear and out the other, IMO).

My dd is 13 and I have not and would not give her "supplies" for sex. IDK if i would when she is older. She likes boys very much but she is would also like to be a virgin until she marries. I think that is a very rare thing but my best friend was-she married last year at 29 and my dd knows this-so she is kind of a role model.

I talk to her ALOT about sex, love, and relationships. Why she needs to wait-as there are about a millon years-not just pregnancy and STD's. That any boy she has sex with now most assuredly will not be with her later-eitehr he will dump or she will grow tired of him-so why have sex with someone you know you are not going to stay with? This actually seems to have resonated with her the most. She had a boyfreind at teh beginning of the year that she kissed and he told everyone and then they brokeup and she was very hurt. He was talking to another girl while they were still together.

My parents didn't supply me with condoms, pills, etc. I was taught that irresponsible sex can lead to unexpected pregnancy. I was taught to respect my body & I was taught that I should expect others to respect my body.

My parents were always open to my questions & they approached me when they had something they had something they wanted to discuss with me.

I was never given a free pass to sleep around. I was TERRIFIED of getting pregnant...not even so much because of the baby, but of knowing I'd have to tell my parents. I don't believe in abortion, so that wouldn't have been an option for me.

Sounds like SD got the shitty end of the deal in my opinion. BM throws all the stuff at her, feeling like she's accomplished her maternal role & leaves the 13-year old child with the burden of remembering to take a pill at the same time every day. What if her pills fail...because I think we all know a 13 year old is going to forget. Chances are she isn't going to carry a condom with her, because I think we all know a teenage boy isn't going to give 2 shits less about being responsible enough to carry one.

At 13 years old, does she understand the importance of using a condom even if she is on the pill to prevent STD's?

I think that's far too much responsibility to put on a child.

Growing up, being well-informed did not = a free pass. Being well-informed by my parents = being terrified of the nasty diseases that will NEVER go away no matter what medication you take. The diseases that you are obligated to tell anyone you have a relationship in the future with, you have. The diseases that will deter people you want to have relationships with from wanting to have a relationship with you. The diseases that could possibly make it impossible for you to have a baby when you're ready to have a family.

Being well-informed by my parents = knowing that if I got pregnant before I was able to support myself & a child, I'd have to give it up for adoption because I wouldn't be able to care for it.

More than any of this, the fear of having to approach & disappoint my parents to tell them I was pregnant was enough to make me wait until I was out of their house & supporting myself to have sex. Of course, my parents took a true interest in parenting.

It's sad that to think that so many feel it necessary to "friend" their children rather than parent them. I guess it's easier for the parent that way. The child...not so much.

And THESE are the women who will be celebrated on Mother's Day!

Grr...

I don't know if she still does it, but to "be cool," back when Princess just started dating when she was 16 and the boys were 12 and 13, Loca Grande would leave a basket of condoms on their bathroom sink and tell them to "take whatever you need."

Princess and I talk about all those things- waiting till you graduate high school, wait till you are SURE you are in love, wait till you're 30... What sex means and how it isn't always about love, and it can be a weapon- all the things we tell our daughter to be safe... I didn't tell her she had to wait for marriage- but I told her to wait till she grew up.

I don't really know who she is any more, but I know she at least waited till after high school graduation, and her dad has told her he will help her find an apartment if she were to become pregant before marriage.

(I don't think she's ever figured out Loghead and loca Grande weren't married when she was created...)

My BD13 has the best birth control around: younger siblings. I have a BD5 and BD1 and there have been PLENTY of times I've had BD13 "take care" of her younger siblings (while I'm there, of course) so she can see first hand just what it's like caring for younger children. I've talked to her plenty about having sex and what it leads to but for her to be able to see first hand "here is this baby that you must care for" I think has helped her to see that having a baby is not always "fun and games" especially when you're still a child yourself.

In all seriousness, I've discussed birth control with her and the likelihood of her ending up on pills before she's even sexually active is high because she has a nasty cystic ovary and suffers from ruptured cysts nearly every month and the doctors have cautioned that outside of removing the ovary (which they won't do because she's so young), the only other thing to that can help is low dose birth control. I'm not sure how I feel about that but at the same time it would be killing two birds with one stone. At the end of the day I'd much rather her be protected and KNOW she's protected than to have to wonder. Doesn't mean by any means that I want her out running around having sex - just means I want her to be protected in the event that it happens.

Yes what ever happened to RESPECT for oneself? So SD is supposed to be the corner store. Just come in and get "it?"

So just because you're given a mosquito net, you're ok to trod off into a malaria infested jungle?

Not good.

Studies have shown that, in particular GIRLS who have "free sex" at a young age end up with not only unwanted pregnancies but heavily emotionally damaged as well.

Not to mention usually a ward of the state (welfare, foodstamps, etc)

That is wrong she should be giving her the right info. Someone needs to set this girl straight before something happens that no one wants. Poor kid! Sorry you guys are going through this. Your SD needs someone to talk to her asap, if it were me I'd get a book that has the facts so that when I do talk to her it won't be a BM VS SM. I'd tell her that the only reason I was saying anything and giving her the book is b/c she needs the correct info and leave it at that. Explain everything I could and have it backed up by the book then I'd leave her the book and tell her that if she has any question to feel free to ask.