You are here

BM buying expensive gifts for SDs

SMof2Girls's picture

First it was two leap frog handheld video games "just because she loves them."

Then it was new bikes "just because she wanted them to be happy."

Next it was a new ipod for SD6 "because she deserves it."

Now she's talking about buying them their own laptop.

They are 4 and 6. To me, this is lavish, excessive, and completely unnecessary.

But the girls get so excited and just ramble on about all this cool stuff they have at BM's house.

This is the same woman who can't afford the $300 mediation fee to work out a wealth of disagreements and issues with the existing CO.

I know there's nothing that can be done, but it's so frustrating! We've stopped giving every single extra cent outside of what DH is required to pay for CS and that's about as far as we can go.

/end rant

SMof2Girls's picture

I've always known she's irresponsible with money. And that's saying it nicely LOL!

Doesn't make it any less frustrating .. and I'm afraid of the lessons she's teaching her kids ..

knucklehead's picture

At least the CS gets spent on the kids and not her! Smile

Let's face it, she has money for what she WANTS to have money for.

SMof2Girls's picture

Very true. This is what I tell myself too. At least the girls get some benefit from this behavior .. I surely didn't have all that cool stuff when I was that age!

SMof2Girls's picture

The issues are basically that neither parent really loves the agreement and both are unhappy (ie, want more) now. They both have legitimate, reasonable requests; but she refuses to negotiate on anything. She feels entitled to everything she wants and thinks that she shouldn't have to give up anything to get it.

DH has tried everything to get her to compromise, even suggested mediation and offered to pay her half! But she moves on to not being able to afford a lawyer, etc.

We've filed paperwork and she'll get notice on Wednesday that we've filed an order for modification with the court. She'll have 30 days to respond. She may not have the money, but we do. Even in the midst of buying our first home together, we've managed to put aside reserves to deal with her. Since she won't deal out of court, we'll move to the next step.

She thinks if she ignores the issues they'll go away and she'll get what she wants. Like she can wait us out.

She's currently out of town for work and we have the SDs. I hope she's blowing all her money on expensive dinners and parties so that when she returns, she will regret every dime she blew. She'll have the notice from the lawyer waiting for her upon her return.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Sounds like our BM. Had money to spend 2 weeks in Florida but can't afford a new cardigan for SD's school uniform. Can afford an Ipod touch for SD11 but can't afford to buy her sneakers for gym. Can afford a 1000.00 Gucci bag, but couldn't help pay her sons Senior Dues for his graduation last year. Has 2 jobs and gets 800 a month in CS, but she wants DH to pay for GET THIS acting classes for SD11, because she wants to be an actress! LOL...Someone kill me now please...

SMof2Girls's picture

Exactly! BM tried to give SD6 a new backpack for Christmas .. which was actually a $600 Gucci hobo-style bag she found a "great deal" on at an outlet store.

She actually had the nerve to ask DH to pay for half.

His response: "I hope they have a good return policy."

SMof2Girls's picture

I know, right?!?!

It's not actually a "backpack" .. that's just what she tried to pass it off as. It's really a purse, but one of those large tote-size ones. With a very expensive name attached to it.

SMof2Girls's picture

She used to send all these things with the girls to our house. Then one time she called DH flipping out because she couldn't find SD6's ipod that she paid $250 for. Literally screaming at him to reimburse her for it or she would sue him for it (totally rational, right?).

She found it under SD6's bed 3 days later. Needless to say, we have told her that those items are not be brought to our house. They don't even play with that crap when they're here. They'd rather do art projects and play outside. And it's one less headache we need to worry about.

Unfreakingreal's picture

You should have let her buy the backpack and taken it for yourself! Dumbass....(HER not you)

SMof2Girls's picture

If only I was thinking clearly .. LOL

We bought SD6 a Helly Kitty backpack at the start of the school year. It's beat to all heck with a broken zipper, but she refused to get rid of it. She loves that thing. And it cost us all of $25.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Sounds to me like the "gifts" for these small girls can actually be enjoyed by BM, too. Electronics, like a laptop, for kids who don't have full reading skills yet? Gucci bags? Maybe the "gifts" are PRIMARILY being used by BM? As you indicate, the girls tire of this stuff quickly. All the more reason for BM to wind up using them herself.

PeanutandSons's picture

Yes, I imagine that the plan for the "backpack" was that after Dh paid half, it quickly becomes mommys new purse.

Same with the laptop and ipod..... As soon as the kids tired of it, then mommy takes it over.

SMof2Girls's picture

I'm sure of it. Way too coincidental knowing how extremely materialistic she is