BM irritates the crap out of me
BM and I generally get along. We aren’t friends or anything like that, but we are friendly to each other, etc. I don’t know what is up lately, but I CAN’T STAND BEING AROUND HER!!! I just can’t stand her. I think it’s because she is becoming more and more of an asshole parent as each day passes, although I didn’t think it was possible for her to be worse. I recently found out that she has been letting SD drink alcohol, so much that SD has been drunk on more than one occasion. SD just turned 15. This apparently happened while SD was still 14. Not only that, but SD has a SS that’s a senior in HS, so all of these kids, boys and girls, come to these parties and are allowed to spend the night. If that’s not asking for trouble I don’t know what is. I told DH and he is trying to figure out a way to deal with this, although nothing he says will change BM's mind.
Anyway, I went to a softball tournament with DH this weekend that SD was playing in. Of course, BM is there, and was sitting nearby. I had to leave the tournament with my daughter because I was so sick of BM. She was sitting there badmouthing the other pitcher on SD's team, saying she sucks…but then when SD pitched and did poorly it was because she didn’t have the support of her team backing her up. She was complaining about this other girl’s mother helping on the team, complaining about the position that SD was playing when she wasn’t pitching…complaining about EVERYTHING!!!! When she gave my daughter crap about sitting to close to her (under MY canopy mind you)I finally snapped and said "she's trying to find a spot in the shade to sit!!!". I finally just said to DD, lets go to the mall and have fun. So, we left. I really don’t like BM sometimes.
Oh gosh, you're kidding,
Oh gosh, you're kidding, right...lol. DH suffers from the "let's not piss off BM" syndrome, which pisses me off too. How I really wanted to respond to her was "Get your f@#$ing ass out from under the canopy and DD might not have to search for a place to sit. I do have to say, in DH's defense...right now, at least...I can understand the treating her with kid gloves. He is military, and they were married just long enough that she gets a decent portion of his retirement when he retires in November. She has recently indicated that she isn't going to hold him to that portion of the divorce agreement. So, until he gets that taken care of legally, he's kind of trying not to ruffle feathers too much in case she decides to change her mind. After that though I hope he grows some balls.
Oh yes, I decided that day
Oh yes, I decided that day that was the end of it...I already told DH that I will not be going to anything else that BM is a part of.
^^This .. I don't care what
^^This .. I don't care what portion of his paycheck is at risk .. minors drinking and possibly engaging in inappropriate behaviors should never be acceptable or tolerated.
Oh yea, the drinking is
Oh yea, the drinking is definitely going to be addressed, retirement or not. That's just too important to let go...it's just all the other little things that he's kind of letting go for now. He's definitely telling her that he's going to turn her in if it happens again, but he's trying to figure out a way to keep an eye on things so that he can take appropriate action, or have specifics to give them. I'm not sure, but maybe you guys would know, how it would be handled if we just called and said hey, I have word that these people are providing alcohol to minors. Would they wants specifics or is it something they would just keep an eye on?
I'm not sure there is a whole
I'm not sure there is a whole lot the police can do unless they catch them in the act .. or if one of the kids admits to it (which I doubt they will). I would just keep your ears open to talk of any upcoming parties, etc.
Someone else may have a little more knowledge on how to deal with this ..
Yea, that's what I was
Yea, that's what I was thinking too. I doubt the kids would admit to it, because they, of course, think it's cool. I'm hoping SD will let something slip at some point in time on her twitter account, which DH monitors without her knowledge.
I found an anonymous tip line
I found an anonymous tip line for our state police where people can report planned parties or parties underway, and remain anonymous. I'm excited about this as it will solve both problems. DH can let BM know it's unacceptable (a shame she needs someone to tell her this and can't figure it out herself) and it can be reported if he finds out about something, without her knowing it was him. If I had to guess, I would say there will be one Friday night because BM's oldest SD is graduating that day.
I also wanted to add, we
I also wanted to add, we found out about a year ago, through SD, that BM and her DH let the oldest daughter have parties and allowed the kids to drink. At that time DH made it clear to her that he didn't ever want her allowing that with SD and that if he found out he would turn her in. So, now he knows to keep his eyes open and ears open to figure out a where/when so that it can be dealt with.
What did she say to your
What did she say to your daughter about sitting near her??? I would have responded with "feel free to move out from under my canopy if you don't want to be near my daughter".
As for her bad mouthing the team, I HATE this. I don't care who the parent is, BM or not... there is no excuse for badmouthing CHILDREN. I probably would have flipped my lid on her. My daughters play softball and my ss plays baseball, and I just don't put up with that. I call those parents out every time. "I'm sorry you feel that way, maybe next season you can volunteer to coach since you don't like the way these coaches are handling the team".
Agreed .. not to mention it
Agreed .. not to mention it fosters so much unsportsmanlike behavior in the kids who hear it!