For a brief moment, I thought DH saw the light
Background: SD, age 20, purchased a horse around six months ago. She has to pay to have the horse boarded. DH went with her to purchase the horse. I am not sure why he was around for moral support when she was buying the horse because SD hasn't been able to keep a job since she started working two years ago. She has been fired from every job that she has and it is always another person's fault, never hers. She was boarding the horse at one horse farm and she said someone said she abused her horse so she moved the horse to another horse farm close to our house.
At the current horse farm, there is drama around SD and another girl that boards her horse. The drama has been going on for a while and SD has said that the lady that owns the barn is supporting SD. I didn't believe SD when she said it but I didn't waste my breath saying anything to DH about it. SD loves to start drama over petty stupid crap. I had a feeling that the drama was either going to result in SD being told to take her horse and leave and/or the police would be called.
Fast forward to yesterday morning, DH and I are still sleeping and the phone rings. DH has a special ringtone for SD. DH doesn't answer it right away and I decided to get up and get out of the bedroom before he talks to her. I didn't want to start my morning listening to her on speaker phone. Dh talks to her and then tells me why she called. As I expected, SD was told to take her horse and leave the farm. The drama exploded but again wasn't SD's fault. She wanted DH to buy a hitch for his truck. She had rented a horse trailer and wanted DH to get the horse and move it to another farm. DH told her no. Yes, I was very shocked that he told her no. DH told her he wasn't comfortable driving with a horse trailer, especially through town where there would be a lot of traffic. SD tells him that she can get someone else to drive DH's truck. DH tells her no again.
Dh and I decided to go to the store. On the way to the store, DH is explaining to me the 5,000 reasons why he told her no and asked me if he did the right thing. I agreed with him. I was having a proud moment until he starts second-guessing himself. Within 15 minutes, he is so upset with himself that he didn't at least try to help her. He told me about the drama and then stated he was sure there was more to the story than what SD told him.
I am sure he was more worried about the ramifications of him telling her no. He is always terrified that if he doesn't something for her, she will cut him out of her life. I am sure he was texting her apologizing to her with the 5,000 reasons why he couldn't do it.
I am stunned that she had the
I am stunned that she had the sheer nerve to say she'd get someone else to drive HIS vehicle ... The entitlement!
Oh yes,
She is bold. She didn't even really know the guy that she wanted to drive DH's truck. She was in a tailspin and everyone should drop what they are doing to help her.
sadly, you can lead a horse
sadly, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them think?
(Eyeroll) He thinks that if
(Eyeroll) He thinks that if he says no just one time he'll never see her again? Seriously? She will ALWAYS have reasons to come running back to him for whatever it is she happens to need at that precise moment.
So your SD has been told to
So your SD has been told to take her horse elsewhere no fewer than THREE times in under SIX months, hasn't your husband noticed that there is a common denominator here and it's not the horse?
I am sure he knows,
he is in denial. Over the past few months, he has called out some of her BS to me. I never thought I would see him do that.
Your DH did the right thing.
In this case, the priority is the horse. If SD isn't mature or solvent enough to properly care for a horse then it should be sold to someone who is. If she can't manage simple boarding, what in the world will happen if/when the horse needs medical care and expensive vet bills start rolling in?
Hopefully SD will be forced into a situation soon where she will have to give up or sell this poor horse. It deserves a better owner than her.
I know.
I told DH when he took SD to look at the horse, that SD didn't need a horse. She wants to work part time and care for the horse. She doesn't make enough money to do that and care for herself. I am hoping the horse will be sold to someone else soon.
BM went on vacation for a week and SD had to buy her own food because BM didn't leave her anything. SD called DH and was complaining that she didn't have anything to eat but spaghetti for a week. I thought DH was going to take SD grocery shopping (using his money) but he didn't.
I can remember being her age and married for a few months before I found a job in the town we moved. Spaghetti for a week would have been awesome.
I have to keep reminded DH that he doesn't have to jump in and save the day everytime she is faced with a crisis. She needs to learn how to cope on her own.
Bravo DH
I don't see the problem. NOT
I don't see the problem. NOT --- Easy Peasy. Call around to find an in stock hitch appropriate for your truck that will haul the weight of horse and trailer. Make sure hitch type matches that of trailer. Go pay for it and bring it home. Gather the appropriate tools and install. Pick up trailer from unknown place. Pick up horse. Trailer to new place. --- I can't imagine why DH didn't want to do this. NOT --
My question is if DH will stay strong, or will he find an excuse to install a hitch so he can run to SD's aid for the next move. (Odds are that there will be a next move if she doesn't sell the horse.)
SD says
that the owner wanted her gone, yesterday at the latest. I am not really sure if SD said that to persuade DH to jump in and save the day or not.
If the horse had to be gone by yesterday, SD was SOL. I am not sure if SD owes the owner money or not but I was hoping the owner would tell her that she would take the horse for payment and the horse could be adopted out to a good home by the owner.
Lol....
My face was turning red as I read your comment. Until I got to .... NOT --
Well played.
I grew up with horses and no
I grew up with horses and no way should someone have one who does not have a good income and time. It's so expensive!
And word about her will fly around the horse people and they will know her and not be able to board at all with good barns. The horse may end up at a cut rate, dangerous place (I e. Not cared for properly). I feel sorry for the horse. Hopefully it will be sold soon.
The horse
can stay at the barn where it is at right now. The owner rescues abused horses. The owner has offered to take the horse. The owner has a very good reputation in town. Most of the places that board can take the horse as well and they have good reputations as well.
SD just needs to realize that the horses needs should come before her need to want a horse.
if the barn wants her gone..
if the barn wants her gone.. and she has a place to go.. I can't imagine that one of the two places would not be interested in helping her get the horse moved.. for money of course.
I have horses. It's a
I have horses. It's a lifestyle, and a big commitment in terms of money and time. I keep mine at home, but am familiar with barn culture and am sure Daisy will not fair well at any boarding facility. That she thinks she can afford to care for a horse is insane, and I hope the facility slaps a lien on the horse for non payment of services very soon. Feed, grooming, farrier, veterinary care, equipment - it all adds up stupid fast, and that's without the services of a trainer. Between her awful, entitled personality and the social structure of most barns, other boarders will eat her alive.
I'm curious to know where Daisy got the money to buy the horse in the first place. Have you checked your and your H's accounts? Where did Daisy get the tack and other accoutrements? Has she owned horses before? Because the initial outlay to ride is considerable, and I'd hate to see your H contributing to it. Poor horse.
I am not sure
how she got the money. I know, she didn't take it from my account. I am almost certain DH didn't give her any money. DH and I have separate accounts. It is very possible that she stole money from BM, again. SD told DH that she didn't have any money and then all of the sudden she had money to pay for this horse.DH said she paid with cash. SD purchased a lot of used items for the horse I am not sure what she bought or how she could afford it. I know DH didn't have money to purchase a horse.
BM bought a horse for SD when she was about 12 years old. She kept that horse for a couple of years before BM sold it.
Egads.
Praying the horse doesnt suffer for her shallow and contemptable entitlement.
SD16 B/M complained bitterly that no one would allow her to play her bass after she bought it. With whose money I dont know. But somehow these entitled jerks thinks its ok to buy what they want and everyone else has to bow down to their wishes. On what planet.
I am glad your DH is seeing the light.