ROFR is usually after a number of hours, i.e. 4 or 6. If BM is having other people watch SD for a couple of hours, there may not be anything you can do.

Right Of First Refusal (ROFR) means if a parent needs a babysitter the other parent can require that the child be left with them and not the sitter/day care/relative, etc. If its not in the court order she can leave the kid with a wino in the gutter if the wino is coherent enough to act as a guardian.

Sounds like Mom is doing her best to create income and I don't see why that search should be disturbed. If her trusted friends and relatives are pitching in why rock her boat? But if Dad wants to step up and pick the kid up then he can give her a call and ask to do so. If she refuses then he can ask the court for ROFR.

Be careful unless you're willing to pick the kid up every day no matter who's week it because if Daddy can't then you'll be his first pick. If Daddy can't then Moms friends and relatives seems the next logical pick. In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)as that's what I'd prefer over a step-parent.

FYI did you know that of all the single parents getting various welfare payments almost all of them are women? They're just not getting enough income from work and child support.

our BM lives with her parents (they always did, even during marriage).

because of this, when they divorced, my fiance was ADAMANT that there be language in the parenting plan that states if BM needed a "babysitter" for SD that he have right of first refusal before her parents were asked. He wanted this at anytime which the lawyer smartly told him was unreasonable, but he was able to get it in the plan something to the effect of "for any period 12 hours or greater that BM cannot watch SD, then father should be contacted first to see if he would like additional parenting time before 3rd parties are asked"

near impossible to enforce tho. SD would never be so stupid to tell her father she was left with her grandparents.

Sorry its true that single parents receiving welfare of various sorts are women and the numbers are adjusted to make up for the fact that most single parents are women. Its rare to see a single father with custody on welfare but hardly uncommon for single women to collect.

It's just a fact of our society - women are still paid less (about 80%) then men for the exact same job. Providing for children is expensive. The cost for a middle class child up to age 18 just went over 1/4 of a million dollars. Yes $250,000.

Of course welfare women aren't middle class but the expenses are huge. I know most of you think that the child support is too high but the studies show that its not enough. Nation wide anyway.

Sorry but most states ROFR has the wording if the parent is not available OTHER then work or school for the minimum of 4 hours then the other parent must be offered the time.
ROFR is not meant to make mom juggle dad along with a work week or Dad juggle mom. It is meant for mom or dad going out for longer then 4 hours... Or specific wording.
This stuff gets to me. Dad's time is dad's time, moms time is moms time. If she needs a babysitter to work so be it. Leave it alone or you might have a non working mother on your hands. Now if it is because she is out partying that is a different story.

The CO we operate with has a 3 hour limit on the ROFR provision. There is an additional provision the requires both parties to provide the other with their work schedules the moment they're available. DH and BM both have irregular work schedules and the CO is designed to accommodate their professional chaos.

That said, their irregular work hours means someone has to pick up the slack and it's typically me. Since we also operate with 50/50 custody, that translates to a lot of driving and planning on my part. The relationship I have with my SKs is uniquely positive so it's not all bad for me. However, there are plenty of times where it's obvious I'm getting the short end of the CO-stick and copious amounts of drinking hardly compensate for the bitter taste it leaves behind.