is this coincidence, or does she know about this site?
I have been very careful never to write on steptalk from home. never logged in, only at work.
but I did go to the site to read.
I thought I was always careful to erase the history on the computer.
But last night as we were going to bed SD goes, "Dad, Chava has a livejournal and she writes and writes...." He didn't reply...I just said "I don't have a livejournal"
I don't. Years ago I did, and I would read other journals. I haven't used livejournal for years, but still read some of them. SD knows that. Do you think she assumes I have one?
Or maybe this "writes and writes" things refers to this site...
maybe she just called it the wrong thing?
maybe I should erase my blog? I would save it in a file at work first, because it's main purpose is to be able to read everything that happened when I feel bad about leaving
Put her Ass in the Dorms ....
Not sure of your position financially, I know it can be expensive, but try to find a way. She doesn't know what she is talking about, she is on a fishing expedition. If she knew, she would have said, dad go to this website and she what she said about me. 18 y/o only think of themselves.
She obviously is extremely jealous of you and hubby's relationship. She needs to grow up - it is her time.
Does she have a live journal? Look under her mattress, that's where they normally keep it. Then, next time she opens her trap, you can snap it down on her ass real quick!!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
you're right about that,
you're right about that, she's very jealous. and he's told me that himself. there are alot of indications of that.
i don't know, don't think she does have a journal
i thought that myself also, if she had seen what i wrote about her, she'd be truly freaking out....not sure if she would show her dad or not. #1 if she saw it she'd want me out. if he saw it, he'd end his relationship with me after reading how i truly feel about them. but he would also read the truth about SD. the things he doesn't want to know. but she would say it was all untrue, and he'd believe her....
except that wouldn't make sense either, because i wouldn't write untrue things to try to get her in trouble in a blog that H isn't mean to read....
Anythings possible but......
Could just be coincidence....or assumptions, just like you suspect. Is there anything untrue, or anything you wouldn't say to their face? Or any of your feelings that would do more harm than good if they were actually read?
If not, you have nothing to worry about. Sometimes, revelations from your writings may be just what's needed to get some things out into the open. Tough but sometimes needed
How old is SD?
She's 18. Everything I've
She's 18.
Everything I've written is true. It's purpose is a reminder to myself of all the reasons I want to leave, and I'll read it in the future if I'm sad or lonely or missing H.
But I wouldn't say these things to their faces, because I wrote my uncensored thoughts and feelings, and they'll hate me if they know how I really feel about all of them. In this house, I'm not allowed to be a person or put anything out in the open.
H believes in keeping our own feelings inside so that we never upset the kids. He thinks they should be able to run our lives and we should never get angry or complain. He seems to think that because I
came to the house that they already lived in, I should have to adjust to everything, and no one should have to adjust to me or my son...
peace keeper, huh
Have to apologize, didn't meant to imply...must be my own paranoia showing
Sucks to be peace keeper all the time...Maybe you and H can talk and deal with kid issues as "family" instead of mine/yours.
I thinks too many barriers are put up in today's blended families...My humble opinion
Hope holding your feelings in doesn't make you explode...been there done that. Take care of yourself and it's all a little easier to deal with...find an outlet if possible (including private writing)you may just have to be more careful to keep it "for your eyes only"
I tried the whole Peace Keeping Thing -
I stayed so miserable all the time. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Chava, do yall have children together? I think you need a vacation - Ever been to Beale Street?
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
So what?
So what if you have a live journal... whether it's true or not? They're worried about what you have to say? (((GASP))) The horror!!! Chava has a brain & uses it! OH MY GOD! Chava thinks for herself! Chava is not crazy enough to enjoy the needless drama these lunatics create! How dare you! You're supposed to be this thoughtless, unfeeling, house-cleaning robot that just goes along with them. Didn't you know that? How DARE you be a...
...healthy human being! (Hipi said sarcastically...:))
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
it's true, how dare I be a
it's true, how dare I be a human....
people are supposed to be able to keep a journal, and not have anyone upset at them for wanting to keep it private.
sometimes i write at home, in a notebook, and i write in russian on purpose, so that no one will be able to read it. SD still found it, brought it up to me, and demanded a translation!
yes, as to the comments above, i'm trying to be a peacekeeper- only because i have resolved to leave and don't want to waste energy fighting when I'll never win. and also because every time i've fought anything, they've ganged up on me.
H tries to be a peacekeeper also, by ignoring every problem, and blaming anyone who suggests that the kids are behaving in a way that's wrong.
This site is my sanctuary
If SD or BM ever find it and choose to read things that they really don't want to know...well...so be it. I don't apologize for expressing my feelings in an "anonymous" forum. (I use quotes because believe me...Zenmom would be a dead give away to anyone who knows me. Except BM I suppose...but THAT's because I don't exist so she can't possible know me!
Peace, love, and red wine
why don't you exist? is she
why don't you exist? is she hiding from the reality that you're with her ex?
OHHHHHH YEAHHHHHH
I only exist as a convenience to her when she doesn't want SD. Otherwise I don't. She will hang up if I answer the phone. She stopped pulling into our driveway, SD has to go out to the street- actually hover by the open front door no matter what the weather, or BM will honk. BM has repeatedly told SD I am not her mother, that you only have ONE of those. When SD used to make Mother's Day presents at school BM would instruct her not to make two, and to make sure she got hers.
We have only had one, one sentence exchange in person, and one three sentence (two were mine) phone conversation in FIVE years.
WHen I first met DH he tried to introduce us several times and she would roll up the window on him and pull out of the drive.
She cannot stand if he asks me a question when she's on the phone. The only times she comments on me to DH is to try to make fun of me over the phone (for the infamous panty raid- I'll explain if you haven't caught THAT one in another post yet!)
Peace, love, and red wine
Wow, how immature and
Wow, how immature and sad...
what a bad example to your SD. I think I read about this panty raid thing- did that involve a video camera? And what did his ex have to say about that?