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Curious... How did you all find this website??

dood's picture

I'm wondering if we all did basically the same way: Google >> I hate my (BF's/GF's/Etc) kid.

It felt really wrong somehow to hit but holy crap - I was blown away by the number of hits I got! and that led me here.

BSgoinon's picture

Me too, or something along those lines. It was about 8 years ago that I found and joined this site (under different usernames over the years for privacy)

misSTEP's picture

Yeah, I googled "how to deal with a psychotic baby mama" and the rest...is history.

It was so validating to realize that I wasn't alone. Others had similar (or even worse!) BMs than mine.

I sure wished I had found it YEARS before I did! I did overstep some. I can see and admit that now. At the time, I felt I was just covering and doing what was best for the skids. Little did I realize that would increase the psychotic behavior.

mommy0104's picture

I, like the others, googled it. I typed in "I hate my step kids" and it got me here..and I'm eternally grateful Smile

hereiam's picture

I have never hated my SD; her BM is a different story but we have been done with her for 5 years.

I did not find this site until SD was about 21 and married. She asked my DH (who then asked me) if she, her husband, and their 2 kids could "stay" with us for a few weeks. Yikes, right?

I actually felt guilty for saying "no" and googled something like, "letting adult step kid move in", which led me here. I felt a lot less guilty.

dood's picture

Did you let her (eeeek!) move in? I have to say, that would just never happen here. If the SO wanted that, it would be the end of us.

hereiam's picture

Oh, HELL NO! I told my DH, "Absolutely not."

I don't think he really wanted to let them move in, either, but he had to at least go through the motions, you know, so that she would think he considered it.

dood's picture

Pretty funny. I felt like some sort of degenerate monster or something googling that - but WOWZA this is not an uncommon thing and I am definitely Not Alone.

I guess the funny part is I don't in any way consider myself a step mother... I don't consider myself at all in this. It's my SO's kid (and more so it's the BM's kid). That's it. I'm not the skid's - anything.

Glassslipper's picture

I googled " step parent support group" and this came up.
I can say this website has changed my life, saved my marriage and I now have strong boundaries put in place with BM! All because of this site.
I spent MANY sleepless nights wondering if I really was the wicked stepmother, and if I was over reacting to my husbands inappropriate boundaries with BM till I found this site.
My life has made a 360, all thanks to my Steptalk friends and support network!
Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile

Unfreakingreal's picture

I googled "I hate the baby momma" or something like that and I found this place. Been here ever since.

Drac0's picture

At this stage in my life, when it comes to this site, I feel like a Vorlon.

"I have ALWAYS been here."

dood's picture

Dirol Biggrin
Good to know! ha!

This site gives me a bit of my sanity back... I do not have any kids myself - never had that pang. Kids are small people - I don't like all people, I don't like all kids. I don't like this kid much. I get the BM's 'thing'. I see her fine work on this kid. No thank you.

Drac0's picture

It's a crude comparison, but my relationship to this site (if it can be called a "relationship") is akin to how I feel towards my wife. I've only known her for 9 years, but there are times I feel like I have known her forever.

It's always nice to have a place where we can vent freely. There's plenty of sites out there but I find this is the only one that "gets" stepparents and the problems/challenges we face.

I kid you not, I was on another site (which shall remain nameless) with thread "Why are all stepparents assholes?"

I answered. "Gee I don't know, why do all black people steal?"

They booted me out.

Tuff Noogies's picture

lol! yeah me too. i dont remember what it was that helped me find STalk, it's been so long ago. i lurked for a few years before ever making an account and posting

dood's picture

Yes, that. Exhausting. Too bad we're all strewn throughout the world - it would be nice to go hang out during our skid weekends. My friends sort of get it, but not really. You have to live it to understand how incredibly effe'd up all this is. I find it unnatural.

Thank goodness for my dog - seriously - he's my little furry best friend and we usually just hunker down during skid weekends.

misSTEP's picture

Some of us that happen to live close DO get together once in a blue moon. Most of the time, there is very little talk of step hell! Dirol

kalinda's picture

I don't remember the first thing I Googled, something about problems with stepdaughters, I rephrased it several times and also Googled how to deal with his ex. Every time I googled, no matter what I typed it this site came up so I figured this was where I was meant to be and I was right.

blueorblackink's picture

I googled mentally ill parents....

My DH has paranoid schizophrenia. I am not a step or in any step situation, I just have a mentally ill hubby.

Last Feb. he had a psychotic break. He was in la-la land. It was bad. I was very angry, scared and depressed. I was feeling very sorry for myself.

When I found this sight, I realized that although my life SUCKED, some people (you all) have it worse than me. I guess I got strength seeing that most of you lived successful lives despite the daily frustration you endured.

There were times I could look and see that my life was not so bad. I also learned a lot about dealing with crazy and finally disengagement, when I couldn't handle it anymore.

Now I feel involved in the lives of the Step parents here. I am rooting for you all, I am worried when someone is having a rough time. I admire the ballsy chics. I am kinda hooked...

dood's picture

^^^^ Yes, the support and commonality is comforting. I was freaking out a bit when the site went down for a few days!

Ninji's picture

We had just found a pile of 15-20 pairs of poop and pee filled underwear in SD's room. I googled, I hate my Step Kids.

blayze's picture

I wanted to know why his "baby mama" was so crazy, so that's probably what I googled. I hadn't even spent time with the kids yet. I wanted to "save them" :sick: as I never imagined that a mother would act against HER OWN and her children's best interests to punish the father. I was naive. I thought that SO was somehow instigating BM's malicious acts until I came here and learned about the high-conflict BM handbook. Then, rather than dumping him because he couldn't control the Medusa-esque reptilian gutter slut that he invited into his life, I read on here about how to put the beast in a cage where she belongs.

Rags's picture

Many years ago I belonged to a very small online Sparent community. Over the course of a few years it folded. When it no longer was in operation I found myself missing the support and forum for working through blended family issues.

So I Googled Step Parenting and STalk was one of the top options so I clicked on it and the rest is history. I have been here for many years and will likely be here for many more though my Skid has launched and is doing well, he and his mom and I are very close, and my bride and I are having a great time.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

I googled stepmom. I got sent to a lot of different sites and blogs but this is the only one that made sense in my situation.

I've only been posting for a short while but it has given me such an amazing safety valve for my problems.

Thanks.

SweetMom's picture

I googled mean step kid and BM copies me . I posted all kinds of stuff to get off my chest and I got the good, the bad and ugly honest opinions. I took a step out of my own box and realized a lot of my wrong doings and theirs and how to get to the source of the problem through my husband. Happy marriages isn't about the lack of love but the lack of friendships. Communication with your partner is very important. He may have got grumpy when I told him my feelings, he even drove down the road a few times but I demanded respect and it has gotten 75% better. Spouses don't want to hear the truth but it's better than living a lie.

Morgan Le Frayed's picture

Likewise, I Googled "I hate my stepkids" or "I hate being a stepparent". I am SO thankful to everyone here because I have learned:

1. My parenting instincts are correct and I am not wrong
2. I am not crazy
3. I am not evil because I do not enjoy his children, aka "the child life"
4. My DH is the primary problem, and his lack of parenting is what is allowing the Skids to be secondary problems
5. I learned the life-saving technique of "disengaging"
6. And most importantly, I have learned that I AM NOT ALONE

Let me say that again . .

I AM NOT ALONE.

I wish I could invite you all over and cook you dinner and make you some amazing cocktails. The people here really have changed my life.

Thank you all. Smile

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I Googled "My 18yo stepdaughter is rude and disrespectful."

She still is.