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Disengaging STILL

The Triangle's picture

So ss 14.5 left for bm’s house mid June.  It has been GREAT!  I forgot what it was like to be ME!  I had tried and tried and tried to see ss thru the same rose colored glasses dh and bm see him thru but I can’t.  He is a sneak.  A lying little sneak.  Has been since he was 5.  Dh and bm can’t stand each other so he pretty played them against each other for ever.  Til finally they started talking (thanks to me sacrificing my soul to play bridges of Madison county) and realized that he is a lying sneak!  

Fast forward to Summer 2018.  I disengaged before ss left to go to bm’s.  I’m sick of the lies, I’m sick of the pity party, I’m sick of the my life is so hard bs.  So, I disengaged.  I told no one.  I just stopped after the last blowout.  I haven’t spoken of ss or asked about him.  Dh hadn’t mentioned him until this week.  I guess after 2 weeks they finally spoke. (Dh likes to let him call first, that way he gets all his MY MOM IS SO GREAT TIME and comes back to reality). Dh mentions that ss is having fun blah blah blah.  I simply say “sounds good” and leave it there.  

Today as I am talking to a friend she mentions that ss has 3 Snapchat accounts and on is ss name and mom’s last name (not his real name, he has dh’s Last name). Now I personally don’t have a “snap” so I have no idea nor do I care to get one.  I am familiar enough to know it is just one more form of social media that ss didn’t have permission to use.  So when dh called me on his lunch break in passing I mention what I was told and said for him to do with that information as he wished.  He asked me questions about the app and I simply stated I was not familiar.  That I felt obligated to relay the info and that is all...  IT FEELS GREAT.  I went on about my day and honestly could care less.   HE IS NOT MY CHILD.  I don’t even care to do a follow up to see what comes of said lying sneaking ss .  

For now I am thoroughly enjoying my well needed break from him and am going to continue to disengage and secretively count down the days til he leaves.  My dh is a good man.  He is a good dad.  Ss is with bm for 9 weeks out of a year and she manages to get to him every time.  She is a lying sneak.  Like mother like son.  Not my monkey.  They should start their own circus!  All I can do is enjoy MY life.  I chose not to have children because I like MY life.  After nearly a decade with this man and on this hamster wheel I wanted to scream it from the rooftops... I DO NOT CARE!  (Relatively speaking of course, I am afterall a human). 

Honestly,  this is a big step for ME!  I just wanted to throw myself a mini parade. Complete with sash and candy. 

The Triangle's picture

I think it was along the lines of me having a battle with myself?  Maybe a “they aren’t gonna win” kinda thing?  Who knows.  I THOUGHT I was doing right and now I KNOW I am!  *biggrin*