Do people act like "step" is a bad word?

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My in-laws and my own family all refer to SD as my "daughter." My dad even wrote on facebook, that he tagged me in, something like, "Here is a picture of LittlePanda and BD1 that her other 8 year old daughter took."

WtF? Is STEP a bad word? She is NOT my daughter and I don't really want everyone and their mother thinking, "Oh...she has an 8yr old daughter???" Maybe that is petty of me but my issue is more with that no one wants to use the S word. Even my husbands parents and family will CONSTANTLY refer to me as SD's mom on facebook, even going so far as to say that "you are her mommy and you earned that title blah blah blah on and on and on" ON MY OWN PAGE.. and I will actually reply with, "No, I am not her mom. BM is her mom. Yes, I care for her and treat her as my own, but BM is Mommy to SD, not me, and there is nothing wrong with that!"

My dad is also obsessed with calling SD his first grand child. Yes, that's fine and sweet, but there is nothing wrong with noting that she is not my natural child. This is especially awkward when said in front of SD to a stranger where I feel that distinguishing her as a Step would now hurt her feelings because everyone keeps referring to her as a bio.

Also, My parents are very nice to SD but they do NOT treat her as if she is a true grand child. There is a very obvious difference to me in how they react to my bio 1 yr old vs. how they tolerate SD. They do not see SD often though, and I figure most of what they say is just for show..They do not dote on her or find her adorable or amusing or anything even close to that.

I know it makes SD happy to call me "Mom" and to love her sister, but it is what it is. She is my step daughter..why is that so wrong?

Lipstick on a pig, it's still

Lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig.

I don't know why people don't

I don't know why people don't like the "step" clarification. Most people don't seem to have a problem with "in-law", lol. I don't see the big deal in saying stepdaughter or stepbrother or whatever. It's not a dirty secret to be kept hidden.

And I really REALLY don't like people pushing a relationship on me. Every now and then my mother tells me that DH's grandkid is also mine. She means no harm, but yeah, no. His grandkid is not "my" anything.

The bad connotation comes

The bad connotation comes from childhood and stories like Cinderella. There are others that Cinderella is based on that are far worse.

I hear about Cinderella and

I hear about Cinderella and blaming Disney alot on this board. I dunno, I guess it doesn't mean much to me...there's bad everywhere, unfortunately.

my skids do the same thing

my skids do the same thing with me- directly to me i'm just "tuff", but to other it's "my stepmom".

also, it's second nature for both DH and I to just say "the boys"

I only call SD step on this

I only call SD step on this board, normally I say DH's daughter. I have not "stepped" in and mothered her, as she has a mother. She knows she has a mother. She knows I am not her mother.

I don't necessarily think of the word "step" as a bad word, it just clarifies what the relationship is (like in-law does), but I don't like using it because I don't really have a mother/daughter relationship with SD. Like I said, it is just a clarification as far as I'm concerned, with little meaning other than I am married to the kid's dad.

I do not see anything wrong with not claiming a "step" as your bio. Perhaps your dad is going overboard to make sure he is not seen as treating your SD different. Sometimes people overcompensate without realizing it.

I refer to my stepkids as my

I refer to my stepkids as my stepkids, or "the girls". They call me mom, stepmom, or my first name. It changes every other day and I don't really force the issue either way. My family refers to them as my stepkids; DH's family refers to me as a mom. It's not meant to be insulting; they view it as a compliment because they're grateful to have me in DH's life and taking good care of the kids.

I don't seek to be identified as their mom but I don't bother correcting people. I used to make a point to say, "no, i'm the stepmom, not the mom" but I found I just got weird looks most of the time. It either embarrasses people to be corrected, or they do associate some negativity with the "step" part. Idk. I don't really care. People will think what they want to think no matter what.

I'm not offended that people think they're my kids .. but it's clearly not worth correcting the odd stranger in the grocery store who tells me "your kids are so cute!"

Never been an issue here.

Never been an issue here. From the get-go, my SS and SD referred to me as their "step-dad." Quite militantly. I can't tell you how many times they corrected people that thought I was their father - "He's not my dad, he's my step-dad!" They were obviously programmed by bio-daddy to say that, since I wasn't a "real" parent. After SD's song-and-dance grew tiresome, I turned the tables and started using the same approach myself. If anyone ever called her my "daughter" I would immediately correct them - "She's not my daughter, she's my step-daughter!"