What exactly did she expect your DH to say or do? I can guarantee you that it did not one time cross my mind to call my BDs' father when they started their periods. I also believe that is normally kept between a mother and daughter. Now, I have seen some girls these days who are just proud of their biology and don't have a problem telling the world about it. But that's up to them. As a mother, I didn't tell anyone. Why potentially embarrass your child?

She sounds like a BM who will find every excuse to make contact that she can. You take one reason away, she will find another. I know a BM like that She has slowed down now, but only after she remarried. Apparently all those oh-so-important conversations that just HAD to take place before are now insignificant. It's nice that everyone respects her marriage, but mine didn't get the same respect. I'm guessing it has more to do with her new hubby than it does her.

You should get the woman hooked up on plentyoffish or something, get her out of your hair.

I should add, the one phone call we can still count on each month is the one asking for money. He's told her month after month when she can expect the money, apparently she's just not very bright. Or wait... maybe it's because as soon as she calls to ask for it, DH runs to deposit it, even though it's not when we normally pay.

dup thought it didn't take my edit

Meh, I suppose I'm alone in this with my opinion, but yes does need to know. Not so much in an intact family because Mom is around to worry about the female topics. That's not the case in divorced/separated homes.

I'll admit the BM is going overboard, however Dad is allowing her to do it. A simple call or email to the father would have been all it took. A simple response from Dad back acknowledging thanks for letting him know and yes, supplies will be here unless BM will be sending a particular kind/brand/size. End of story. It's not a terrible or inappropriate thing for BM to let Dad know. The kid comes for Dad's parenting time. Who knows how kid will experience all this to begin. I myself first started I experienced cramps from hell. I got headaches, my back hurt Sure, I survived. But if I had been going back and forth between two homes, don't you think it'd be a good idea to let the other parent what was going on.

Some parents send supplies with kid. Some don't (may depend on the time length of visitations ect). Child may need extras other than what was sent. Child is likely embarrassed to pieces to go out in living room and ask Daddy if he has any extra pads in the home and SD may or may not feel like she can talk to SM about it. Maybe that's all it would take. Perhaps SM could politely show SD where the supplies are (or where to put the ones SD bought with her in the bathroom) and be sure there's plenty of extra toilet paper under the sink. How to dispose of them blah blah blah. Perhaps also tell SD if she has any problems to ask SM (or Dad if SD has to for whatever reason). If SD spent the weekend on the phone calling BM over petty crap about her first few periods, that also would set Dad/SM off that BM was interfering in the other home's time.

The kid will survive. SO will BM and so will the OP's household. It's just a change in something and new for SD who will have to adjust to the changes going on in her body. A heads up to Dad wasn't a bad thing. The period could have very well happened it's initial appearance during a time SD was at Dad's. How would Dad have handled it then? Would he have just snapped the pads are under the counter and not bother to inform the BM so BM could get supplies at home and discuss with her daughter the how to?

Seriously . If there is a nonstop, unnecessary line of texts/calls/emails coming from BM to DH, just go to a form of communication such as OFW where documentation and the ability to monitor the contact can be done. DH does not have to answer the phone at all times all day/evening just because BM has some need in her head to bug the shit outta him. It can be stopped. It can be managed. DH found the way to get BM off his back about the CS by having it simply go through his paycheck. He can figure out how to communicate now with BM in a direct and more manageable style and then either agree with BM on the manner or modify the CO to mandate that this or that is the sole method.

Ok, I'll give her one text to let him know. Anything else is excessive. My girls just took their supplies with them wherever they went, including to their BF's. I guess if BM is a 100% bitch and just won't allow those supplies to go to BD's, then of course he would need to know. It's not frenzy-worthy.

And as for him calling whenever she text for him to do so, why can't he just shoot her a text back that asks what she needs? Because most of the time when they text it, they probably see how petty it looks even to them. I pointed out to my DH along the way when I felt communication was totally unnecessary. It did cause some arguments, but over time he did change the boundaries some. I can't just sit on the sideline and be force-fed whatever crap BM decides I/we should be fed.

These men are so afraid to upset the BM for fear of what they may do. Someone here said it best, and it stuck with me: you have to make your DH fear upsetting you more than he fears upsetting BM.

If you just let the boundaries be crossed in the name of saving an argument, then you are sacrificing yourself to a cause that doesn't give a crap about you.