I'd take it seriously, esp as you are obviously not sure.

Ask her to talk to him about it next time she sees him and record it (e.g. on her phone). My understanding is this is legal if one person knows. If she backs off then it may not be true. If she doesn't, then you'll have your proof so you know what your dealing with.

First of all, you need to get some sort of no contact order in place to stop the texting and calling. I blocked BM on my cell phone ages ago for this very reason.

Second, our BM did the same thing. First time she said it, it planted a little seed of doubt, despite all the assurances DH gave me. By the second and third time, she was getting sloppy and naming dates/times that DH and I were actually together (once was a movie, the other was a night he stayed over at my place before we were living together). Then I realized just how crazy she was.

That was my experience .. there have been stories here where men have gone back and slept with the BMs, so it's possible. Not sure how to reassure you one way or the other :?

Does it make a difference now? She told you in May. If they did sleep together, would you leave him? Try to work it out? If you found out that Yes they did, how would it affect things over all?

(((HUGS)))

I'd ask her for proof when what where and have him right there. Misery loves company and she may just be doing this to try to break you guys up. Once you find out the truth, you know where to go from there.

This is a tough one. So many men will try and try to make it work with the exW to keep the "family" together. I know my DH did cheat on me in the very beginning of our relationship with BM. She was promising to get sober and be a good mom... He bought it for all of a weekend and then came back to me. If it happened and it was before you got married, let it go. If it happens after wedding vows, take his ass to the cleaners and take everything! But that is just IMHO.

My SIL goes through the same BS.

The only difference is that her DH has 4 kids with this pshyco!!
And the BM lives almost two states away. Right now they're in a custody battle, because BM wants kids with her full time. As it is now SIL's DH has kids on a temporary full custody, until the end of the school year. And their BM gets to see them 3 weekends a month.

But since they have been going to court BM has been texting SIL saying that she has slept with DH, and just harasses her daily. Its so bad i have told SIL to get a restraining order.
SIL's Skids have come back to the home after a weekend and have started calling her Fatty (SIL is anything but fat) because thats what their BM makes them call her. Her DH was anything but pleased.

IMHO, if your BM is as crazy as my SIL's I wouldn't take her seriously.

My DH slept with BM in the beginning of our relationship. We were still just BF & GF but it still stung really badly. Had this happened after we got married we'd be divorced but I gave him a pass because it was in the beginning and she was using visitation with the "kids" as a form of blackmail.
In my case, I suspected it was happening and when I confronted her she denied it. She hoped that by denying it, she would be in his good graces and he'd continue to sleep with her.
He denied it for a while until I eventually told him that if he didn't come clean I would never be able to forgive him.
When he finally fessed up, the rules changed. He has never again set foot inside BM's house. It is a deal breaker for me. We've been married almost 5 years, together 13. Now she is constantly hinting at the fact that my DH wants her. I know 100%, with every fiber of my being that she is lying and just trying to break us up. Listen to your gut. Our instincts are rarely ever wrong.

Deep down inside you know what your husband is capable of. Just do some soul searching and trust your intuition.

Before you make a huge deal of this, think it through very carefully. If he slept with her, are you going to leave him. If you are, keep digging, get dates, times, whatever from BM. Keep at BM till you are satisfied. No use asking your husband did he cheat. Cheaters are liars, so he will never tell you the truth. Get everything you can from her.

BUT, if you're not going to leave him, I'd be very careful about going on and on about this. Because if you find out it's true, but you stay with dh anyway, you are sending him a message that says, even if you sleep with your ex. I won't leave you. Do you really want to send that message.

Finally she wouldn't be the first ex to make something like that up. If you are really worrying here, then you have doubt, if you doubt your husband is telling the truth, then you have trust issues. It's up to you what you want to do here. You know the ex, you know your husband. You know what goes on in your marriage.

BM tried that with me. The first date she picked SO and I were on a camping trip together lol. The next dat she picked (cause she got mixed up don't you know) he was at my house as well it just shit stirring

BM has tried that with me before too. The first time she did it was in the beginning of my relationship with DH. I didn't believe her because that was at the time where she was trying anything she could possibly think of to break us up (physically threatening me, keeping skid from DH, etc.).

I didn't hear anything about it again for a few years. Recently DH and BM were arguing about custody of SD and somehow (of course) my name got brought into it. I guess she was yelling at DH saying she's going to tell me they slept together, because DH came & told me that she was going to say that.. & what do ya know, right after that happened she wanted to meet with me to "talk." I refused.. said I already talked to my husband about how you were lying saying you slept together.. I have no need to waste my time with you. The end.

It all comes down to trust, really. I don't trust BM one single bit, but I do trust my DH. I would never want them to be alone together or anything like that because I don't want to take any chances, but for the most part I do trust him and when I hear things come out of BM's mouth, I assume it's a lie.

My low down, dirty rotten BM tried to pull this last month after 11 years of DH and I being together.

My DH warned me that they had been fighting all day over schedule changes she was demanding and DH was refusing and she was furious. BM said she was going to call or text me to tell me that when my DH announced to her that we were engaged that he broke down in tears and begged her to marry him again instead of me and the he tried to sleep with her. I don't believe it for one minute. I told DH to tell her to go ahead and contact me and that I wanted a meeting between me and DH and her and her DH (she has only been married 2 years).

These desperate BMs are effing pathetic.

Yes, BM even broke us up...I ended up back with him and didnt find out til months later that it was all a lie from evil BM....of course, never just write it off...I wont give any man that kind of trust.

I've had this, it is all lies. Up until now it was just insinuating that my husband wanted to be with her, but last weekend during our epic showdown (which ended with me calling the cops on her) she told me the laughable lie that she had slept with my husband. Our BM is always trying to get back with my husband, especially when she feels desperate as she couldn't possible be able to support herself but always has to fall back on someone else providing for her. Currently it is her parents, but I understand that she finds living with them again difficult, so she has redoubled her efforts at getting my husband back. Ignore it. She is trying to put seeds of doubt in your mind and cracks between you and your husband. Your best defense is to work on your relationship with your husband to make sure it is strong. Plus what the posters above have said about minimizing contact. Good luck. It sounds like you've a great relationship, don't let a woman with the maturity level of a teenager get in the way of it.