He's back and smells like a dumpster
Good god. DH showed up at my door. Apparently, he was taken to jail at a huge regional center 60 miles away. He literally looks and smells like a homeless person - which he is. DD4 is at my cousin's house so I am letting him get clean clothes and call his AA sponser and then he needs to go, which he agreed to do.
The best part is that while he was packing clothes, he told me his sad story about sleeping the "tank", and how I am the love of his life and he can't understand why he keeps ruining things, how BM was just a slut that was "fun in bed" (that visual made me want to barf and I told him I didn't need details and to pack faster please). What kills me is that he was sobby and weepy the whole time. Geez - you do this to YOURSELF. Over and over and over again. I just told him I didn't have time for it anymore. I don't know why he does it, I don't care, and I don't want any part of it. My favorite part was when he tried his usual and blamed me because I drink wine now and then. The thing he forgets is that when he got his last DUI, I hadn't drank for 2 months to try to help him. He took off to a job and got so hammered that he hit a parked car. And P.S. - I am functional. I work, I take great care of my daughter and I don't dissapear for a week at a time and drink two pints of vodka a day. Typical alcoholic - its everyone else's fault.
Holy crap - he did not just
Holy crap - he did not just say "if it would make you feel better, we could totally make love and then I'll leave in the morning", after I just got done telling him that I've had a fever and the flu all day.
At least I didn't barf at his smell. The thought of sleeping with him turns my stomach at this point, literally. Pack faster please DH!
I knew who posted this by the
I knew who posted this by the title.
Sorry.
Its just me, but don't worry.
Its just me, but don't worry. He just got out of the slammer - he isn't going to want to go back in if he hassles me in any way.
Thats one of the reasons I
Thats one of the reasons I was able to put up with this so long is because he has never been violent or even argumentative. He is like a dazed homeless dude staggering around or asleep. This last time was the first time that he called me names and tried to fight with me and it was the last straw.
I am taking his house key off his key ring now so I don't have to change the locks. He is downstairs looking for his phone so he won't even know.
You are doing an incredible
You are doing an incredible job handling this. So proud of a sister! And you're helping him in the process. But now, it's all about you. Keep up the strength!!
Okay - now calling the AA
Okay - now calling the AA sponsor - I think I might actually get him out of here shortly. I also told him to call SS12 so I don't have to keep looking out my window waiting for BM and the skids to show up and yell at me.
Doubtful - this is the same
Doubtful - this is the same sponsor that climbed onto my balcony and walked into my bedroom where I was sleeping in my underwear because he wanted to borrow DH's truck and I didn't wake up to his knocking on the front door. I tell you - the people I have met/dealt with since hooking up with DH......
He will at least have some ideas for DH and if he doesn't too bad.
Goddamn it - he was
Goddamn it - he was downstairs looking for his phone and passed out in the guest room. Its late and I am going to bed. I told him he could sleep there until 10 am tomorrow, then he needs to go whereever it is he is going. DD4 will be home tomorrow afternoon and I will NOT have her see him again here.
Unfortunately his ex wife and kid don't want to pick him up. They want to scream and shout, and cause a huge scene and then leave or hang up the phone. Otherwise, they would have been my first damn call. Ugh....I still can't get the thought of BM "being fun in bed" out of my head - thanks DH. I should post a photo for you guys. She literally looks like wax is melting off her big white body in her bikini, she has such wierd fat going on.
Sounds (sadly) like you have
Sounds (sadly) like you have experience in dealing with alcoholics and know what to do. Remember, no excuses, it's just time for him to go. He'll manipulate and try to get you because he needs you to love him right now. Send him on his way. Also, if you haven't already, look up your local Al Anon chapter. Best way to learn how to deal with an alcoholic, protecting yourself.
PS.... I know of what I speak as I am an alcoholic (5 years sober as of 3/5). We are selfish, manipulative people when we are in the throws of our disease and the ONLY person that matters to us is .... You guessed it.... Us! So anything that he promises right now is for his own well-being. Nothing to do with you.
Your right and bottom line,
Your right and bottom line, even though he has burned bridges with his crazy family, he has tons of friends and friends at AA who would help him. He just doesn't want to do that because he'll be expected to try to get sober. Plus its far more comfortable in my bed than on his sponsor's couch, but it is what it is now.
Fortunately not all
Fortunately not all alcoholics are violent. Call a cab and have him dropped off at the bus station with a suitcase.
His sponsor is coming right
His sponsor is coming right now - he packed his stuff and is going to live with him until he finds a place of his own. It actually went fine and he didn't give me any trouble.