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How does it make you feel when....

missmama1234's picture

How does it make you feel when dh accidentally mixes up memories?
For example we were at the store and he pointed to a breastfeeding pillow and asked me if I remember this... it was his ex's breastfeeding pillow.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I try not to take things personal. My SO was with his ex for 8 years and had 2 children. I was also married and divorced but no children. Sometimes I remember good things sometimes I remember bad. Same for him. I listen to what I can and give support. He remembered the pillow was used with one of his children. Yes he mixed it up but I'd say try to be gentle. Pretty sure mine would feel bad about the mix up. I'd just softly let him know. Something like "dear that wasn't the pillow I used." Try to leave it at that.

Ndtotalk22's picture

IT wouldn't upset me as I lost my first husband and do the same thing as your dh to my current husband, it's really bad when I call him by my 1st husband's name...and I mix up memories of places I've been with the two also...memories are funny, something triggers them and the details surrounding are often fuzzy...don't be too hard on him.

ChiefGrownup's picture

My dh and I have made a running joke out of such moments. It's actually pretty funny and he's awfully cute* when he's realizing his mistake and getting flustered and then trying to make it up to me. We flirt and tease. And laugh a lot.

The older you get the more of these things will happen. Your memory gets more and more full like a warehouse splitting at the seams. Best to laugh it off when possible.

*Don't know if I'm also "cute" when the mistake is mine. Wink

SMforever's picture

DH often denies having been somewhere with me, when I even have photos of it. He always reverts to "nope must have been someone else" until I pull out the pics and show him. I just cant see the point in getting cheesed off. We all have our pasts, we've mostly all spawned with previous spouses, but c'mon life is too short to waste time demanding to be the "one and only"

The problem is, when you start beefing on them about it, it just serves to make YOU less pleasant to be with. Why not spend your time being a desirable companion and avoid the green eyed monster.