I feel like shit thanx to ME
I have a tendency to say mean things to people if they piss me off enough. It takes a lot for me snap, but once I do, I go for the jugular.
I said some horrible things to my (now) ex last week about his parenting. Now I feel like crap. He won't talk to me and even threatened to call the police if I try to contact him. Now I am sitting here kicking myself. Who am I to judge him? From what I have witnessed, he favors one child over the other... But maybe it's not like that when I am not over there?
---I told him that when his non-favored child grows up (age 6), he will probably never talk to him. And it's his fault. I also pointed out his stuttering and told boyfriend there is probaby a psychological reason for his stuttering and it probably has to do with daddy constantly riding his ass and blaming him for everything.
--- I called his favored child (age 5) attention-seeking and said he acts like a 3 year old. I said when he is older, he is going to think the whole world owes him something thanx to daddy coddling him like he is a 3 year old. I also said these 2 brothers will grow up and experience such extrme rivalry that they probably won't speak as adults....thanx to daddy.
---I told him that I never loved him. That I loved the idea of being a SM to the oldest boy and instilling some self-esteem in him. I told him he is a piss poor parent who has too many emotional problems and that I'm glad to get rid of him and his family dysfunction.
Well...it's kind of like the
Well...it's kind of like the lesson we would all love our kids(step and otherwise) to learn and internalize...there are consequences to our actions..good or bad. You didn't necessarily do anything wrong. If that's truly how you felt...it is what it is and it's probably better than he knows now and decides whether or not to be with you than to learn you feel this way in a few years..after you are far more tied together.
Question if you are just temporarily lonely...question if you were just being mean and unfair...really, take this time to do some soul searching. Hang in there..and sorry this sucks right now.
I was really pissed off at
I was really pissed off at him for soemthing that he did to ME. I left his house in a huff and went to my apartment. I sat by myself and thought about everything. I called him out of anger and let loose of how I REALLY feel about his parenting/kids - things that I have been holding back. It was like the movie "the 10 things I hate about you"
I have regrets because I have cooled off and now I feel bad. He is trying to get 50/50 of his oldest (non favorite) because he does nto like what goes down in this child's mom's house. So maybe he is showing him love in that way. I just get so sick of that child getting blamed for everything and yelled at for the smallest shit, while his younger brother gets away with everything and gets babied like there is no tomorrw. they have different mom's and I think that has a lot to do with it.
My mom was the same with my
My mom was the same with my sister and I. I was ridden like a dog and my sister was excused of anything and everything. She just felt overwhelmed...and I was a type A/independent type kid and she expected more out of me. my sister was shy and meek...so she was babied more..but she was a MASTER manipulator. still is.
My mom didn't own her actions until my sister was in her early 30's..a drug addict...and in a psych unit for attempting suicide.
Maybe he just needs to lick his wounds...being criticized on parenting, even when it's warranted, is hard to hear. Hopefully, after some cooling off...you guys can talk through some things.
I have a bad habit of letting things build up and then exploding. It has not worked well in my new marriage,lol. I'm working on better communication...talking about things when they are fresh and i'm relaxed..not when something has festered and has me boiling.
Yeah don't beat yourself up
Yeah don't beat yourself up too bad over it. We step-parents have to put up with a lot of BS that we have to internalize and aren't able to express, or else we get told we are selfish or uncaring. Everyone reaches their boiling point though, so I can completely understand the frustration.