My ex and I did the 50/50 thing, week on/week off. It actually worked out pretty well. Once my son was old enough to discuss his feelings on the situation, he told me that he really liked the week to week arrangement and he wouldn't change it for anything. He has turned out pretty well too, so I don't think it affected him in a negative way at all. (He's 17, has a job, gets almost straight A's and he's planning to go to college). If you guys really like the 3 day arrangment though...depending on which judge you get will most likely have the biggest influence on whether you win or not. The judge that I had for my divorce was an older man and he didn't think the week to week was a good idea. He actually yelled at me in the courtroom that he never wanted to see me in his courtroom again! So, it's up to you if you want to go to court over this.

My sd was doing quite well on the standard visitation schedule. We had her and BM got her every other weekend, one month during the summer. Then after mom stayed clean for six months they divided the custody into three weeks with us, three weeks with mom.SD didn't know if she was coming or going. She had to learn rules of one house, get used to them then move again. Readjust to our rules and schedules then head back. She had to begin therapy and the therapist told us that this form of custody is the most harmful to a child because they need a steady constant routine, with rules they are used to and to feel the need to "root" themselves. We had to take her to a psychiatrist and he said the same thing. That this form of instability destoys a young childs ability to form the proper binds and attachments that a young child needs in the early years. We later switched therapists and our current one affirmed all of this as well. She attributes SD's attachment and anxiety disorders to the custody schedule. Once BM went to jail, and we had full control, allowing a constant "normal" schedule, SD has thrived. So I am a firm believer in the fact that this form of custody is the worst. This is also what my ex and I had originally agreed upon. It is in our divorce decree. But after seeing what it has done to SD, we both agreed that we never wanted to damage our child like that. Thank God we remaned friends and he was able to see firt hand the pain that my SD was in.

if you are already sharing 50/50, then there should be no support. When our custody went to that, BM was ordered to no longer pay support. We researched and found out that if the child is spending equal amounts of time, then nobody needs to pay support because each parent is having equal amounts of expenses and time.

The week on week off thing is working great for us...we have adjusted and ss8 says of all the schedules that we've all been through.. he likes this one the best....

.....psycho ex's suck....

my two have been on this schedule for almost 3 years now and it has worked great for all of us. HOWEVER, my ex and I communicate well otherwise I'm not sure how well it would work. My children were 5 & 8 when my ex and I started this schedule and they are now 8 & 11 and I don't see any negatives so far. Not only do my ex and I communicate well, but we are *mostly* on the same page as far as rules, expectations and in how we run our house... so for my two while it IS a change of some things it's not so drastic that ii is real hard for them KWIM?

Now, here's the other side of the story, my DH had the same schedule with SD ... BUT... him and BM do not and can not communicate. AND they both had totally and completely different parenting styles. In SD's case this schedule did not work well because it was a drastic change every other week.

The main negatives I see are on day 1 and the last day. Day 1 they seem to need to be reminded "which" house they're at as not all rules are exactly same/same. So it takes a day or two to get them "on track" with our house and rules. THEN there's what I call LAST DAY ATTITUDE and this happens with ALL of them, even SD who is here only EOWeekend during the school year. It seems like they think they don't have to listen anymore, they don't have to do what you ask and they are full of smart mouth commentary and question every single thing you say or ask of them... LOL
It is what it is...

Sad as that is, I know from experience from being pregnant myself during CS court battles that the new babies don't amount to jack when it comes to determining CS. So for you, that is good. She still has an obligation to support the kids she already has and having another baby won't change that. If she wants to argue a significant change in circumstances, that may work of she were involuntarily out of work, but I don't think it'll apply if she just ups and quits her job. That's irresponsible.

I think you can probably safely tell her to go pack sand, because I doubt that she'll get any more money. You could file a counter-claim asking that it be reduced, due to the kids being with Dad just as much as they are with Mom. The judge isn't going to take her new baby into consideration when it comes to determining CS. And he'll probably take her to task for quitting the job that supported her other kids. At least, that's how it works in NC.

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

no matter WHAT age they are. I know that my two miss their dad when they are here and they miss me when they are there. I know that my daughter calls me "dad" for the first day, sometimes first two days back at my house. I imagine she calls her dad "mom" for a day or two as well.

Sometimes I think the younger they are the easier it is for them tho. I could be wrong I guess. I'm certainly no psychiatrist or expert of any sort.

When my ex and I first separated my son was 6 and my daughter was 3. When DH and his ex split up his son was 8 and his daughter was 5. Out of all of the kids... my daughter seems to be the best "socially and mentally adjusted" and has the least problems with the whole going back and forth, blended family here, her dad has a GF (and has since before we were divorced) so two households there (since they have not married) and still live in separate houses... Anyway, she is a very happy, very social, very fun lil girl who has lots of friends and is very active, from what I have seen she seems to think NOTHING of the way she lives... In 5 years I have heard her ONE TIME say she wishes her dad and I were together... *shrug* ... I know that she honestly does NOT even remember us being together...

It is what it is...

Works GREAT for us! SS loves it. He loves the change of pace from one house to the next. Our house is sooo much calmer than his mother's, because his siblings are allowed to run around like wild banshees. Plus, we have been in the same house ever since he can remember, his mother on the other hand moves every year, and just recently moved 4 times last year! (I think they are planning on moving again!)

We've being doing the week on/week off for years now- 7 I think. Never will change because it really works great for us. At first, we had some funny weird change in the beginning during the middle of the week, due to BM's brilliant idea, than she discovered that it didn't work for her... (DAH!!! We told you that...) So, as soon as SS started school, we started to do the drop off on Mondays. Such as, I take him to school on Mondays, she picked him up from school on her week, and vice versa on our week. Worked great because she was such a pill, we never had to see her.

I think the kids are at the perfect age for it, myself. CS dropped drastically for us because of it. The baby should not affect you, however I would be concerned with the no employment factor. You might want to speak to a lawyer about your options for your state.

As far as the behavior issues, we carry over punishment to the next week... we have a board that is on the bedroom door. I list chores on it, and if there are restrictions, we write them out on the board or (and a calendar), so if SS acts up, he knows that we'll just follow through with things for as long as it takes. Just because he goes to his mom's the next week, doesn't mean that he's home free the next time he comes. We solved that problem real quick.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

CS standards are by state so it would be a good idea to find out what your guidelines are. Its an easy thing to find on the net or go to the circut clerks office in courthouse and they will tell you what it is where you are.
We do the every other week thing in summer but SD isolder now, it is hard adjustment at first but 3 on 3 off sounds confusing too.
If BM goes in for more CS then I would think that she would have to prove BF is making more money now or she has a significant change beyond her control - Having a baby is pretty controlable- and quitting work is a nice option if you have it but it is her choice to do so I doubt she would get much more unless BF has had change in income.
Good Luck