I want your opinions please
So, the kids have daily chores, nothing crazy just make your bed, pick up after yourself, but on every other Saturday(when they are not at their mom's) They have a little longer list, sweep floor, organize your closet, load dishwasher, unload wish washer, pick all the trash up out of the car, simple stuff.
They get paid $0.05 a chore. They don't do the chore they don't get paid. They don't do the chores they don't get to do fun stuff Saturday night or Sunday.
So, they don't HAVE TO DO THE CHORES, but if they want to go places, do things that weekend they can't unless they do them, AND they get a bonus of cash if they do it!
So,...Here is my problem. I'm noticing more and more that they are REALLY RUSHING through chores and doing the bare minimum. (even before today)
But their dad and I have never been picky. We don't white glove test.
One of the kids before has lied about doing chores that were never done and lost all the money she would have gotten paid for that two week period.
TODAY the boy half-assed all his chores and threw stuff in his closet! Ran out the door and hopped in the truck with his uncle.
AND his sister mopped the floor(not her job but she likes playing with the swiffer wet jet) without it being swept first AND only did the middle of the room! There is still visible dirt and wrappers stuck to the wet floor puddle in the middle of the room all she did was get the dirt wet and she did not even do the right chore.
THE KICKER is one of the kids (have to find out who exactly because they swap jobs sometimes, which we allow) unloaded the dishwasher and stacked up glass pans all on top of each other. I JUST finished sweeping up all the broken glass all over the kitchen because when I opened up the cabinet all of my glass pans came tumbling out and shattered. There was glass EVERYWHERE and I was barefoot, right in the middle of all the broken glass-home alone... cut my foot in two places,...
NOW my question I want opinions on:
I think something needs to be done. Some kind of punishment or something taken away, Something!
I have not talked to their dad yet-he is still gone with the boy. One girl is at basketball game and the other is at his parent's house.
So I am home alone and fuming,...
How should I approach this?? I want something to be done.
What should I say to their dad? to the kids? I mean this could have been any one of them opening that cabinet and getting cut.
A punishment? And what?
Any input would be great.
The kids are 12 10 and 8
The kids are 12 10 and 8
So they need to do 20 chores
So they need to do 20 chores to make a buck? Hell - I wouldn't do them right, either! If I bothered at all. WHat do you expect them to do with that vast sum of money they've earned?
They get plenty of money- 5
They get plenty of money-
5 cents to wipe off the bathroom mirror,
5 cents to pick up their clothes in the bathroom floor,
5 cents to make their bed.
5 cents to put their clothes in the laundry basket and set it in the laundry room.
Believe me. All those 5 cents add up really freaking quick.
They have done plenty with their money.
We teach them to save some, spend some and give some away.
They love giving to the church, they bought birthday presents for their siblings, and the 12 year old is already saving for a car.
AGAIN, They get 5 cents a
AGAIN,
They get 5 cents a chore, NOT 5 cents for all of their flipping chores combined!
Can I get some useful comments on this thing PLEASE????
Like I said - they have to do
Like I said - they have to do 20 chores to make a dollar. Three kids, 60 chores. Picking up their own stuff is fine, sat that makes up 20 out of 60 all together. You have 40 different things the kids can do each day? For all of $2? Between three kids?
For an 8, 10 and 12 yo? That's just insulting, IMO.
I NEVER tied chores in with money. The three of us lived in one house, and stuff needed to be done. They knew that we could pitch in and have time for fun stuff, or they could sit around and let me do it - and have no time at all. Funny - they were amenable to helping out.
IMHO chores should not be
IMHO chores should not be used as punishment nor should they be compensated. Chores are a child's required contribution to the household. They do them. Period. If they don't they get punished.a
I would suggest setting an allowance based on grades. Every progress report or report card adjusts the allowance. Doing chores determines what priveledges the kids get. Like going to weekend activites, etc...
That is how we did it. It worked fairly well.
Good luck.
Ok, most of you guys are
Ok, most of you guys are completely missing the point.
There are tons of chores the kids can do. Each little bitty freaking thing they do earns them a nickle. And it freaking adds up!
(And RAGS, they do get bonuses for grades too)
We WANT to teach them that MONEY comes from WORK.
They don't get $ from nothing.
It takes them about a half hour Saturday morning to do all their chores. And they get about $4 a week. That is freaking minimum wage people, can we please move the flip on?
If I could delete this whole post I would.
The point was that their half assing and not caring created a dangerous situation.
Maybe if so many of us are
Maybe if so many of us are missing the point it is too complicated of a system for the Skids to get the point. I think that point is that the system is not working and neither are the Skids.
Time to change it.
And I completely argree with you that some consequence needs to be applied to whoever piled the pyrex pans on top of each other.
I am sorry you were injured.
Hmmmm, interesting system. 5
Hmmmm, interesting system. 5 cents per each individual section of a chore task. While it very well may work at your house, I can just see that now at my house. Ex: Hates changing sheets eh, there goes 5 cents, but doesn't mind making bed, adds 5 cents. Hates cleaning toilet in her bath, meh, only 5 cents less, leaves toilet unclean.
It just wouldn't work for me, but if it does for you, that's what counts. My little one DD13 does not get paid at all for chores. Her chores are part of living in the household and being responsible. Sure, she does get to earn money when she would like to raise cash for something, but those tasks are above and beyond the what the expectations consist of.
But back to your house. I'd be livid at the broken glass and the 1/2 a$$ mode of their attempts of chores. Totally unacceptable. Which ever one stacked the glass in the manner of which it was (assuming they certainly knew better and how to properly do it) would now be doing lots more chores until enough cash was raised to replace the broken items. I wouldn't pay a kid for 1/2 a job nor would I allow their laziness to go without consequence. Your skids have tried to still get paid but not actually do the requirement in the manner it should be done. Not a lesson you want them to learn. Grow up and do a 1/2 a$$ job for your employer but still expect full paycheck. Uh, it doesn't work that way.
Before you tackle this with the kids, have a sit down with your guy and rethink the whole thing and how and what you feel needs changed and adjusted. Make a list, decide what or if there is a 'pay' or earned privilege , consequence for not partaking in routine household expectations blah blah blah. IMO participating in helping routine household necessities should not be optional, especially as the kids live there one week on one week off. They aren't weekend occasional houseguest as a long distance relative making a family vacation visit to the area. Put those little darlings to expected routine responsibilities and rules then everybody sit down to a 'family' meeting and present what DH and you have decided. JMO and I think you'll be more satisfied with the results.
I see 2 issues here. Firstly,
I see 2 issues here.
Firstly, children rarely have the diligence of an adult when carrying out their chores and are bound to do a rush job if they think they can get away with it. So you and their Dad need to be checking their chores more consistently after they are completed and only after they are checked do they get ticked off as completed.
Secondly the system of lots of low earning chores seems unusual to me. It might be easier to supervise and motivate if you had fewer higher earning chores, and then a set of expected basics. I would expect them to pick their clothes up off the bathroom floor without paying them. If they bring laundry down I would expect them to sort it and put it in the washer, and therefore pay more. I would give each child a set of basic jobs paying at least 50c a job, strip bedding, load washing machine, unstack dishwasher, Hoover part/all of the house. Then have a pick list of other optional jobs if they want to earn more money. IMO 5c may be ok for wiping a mirror but it is too little for unstacking the dishwasher. They might take their jobs more seriously if they stood to lose more money from not doing them properly.
Chores here are also paid per
Chores here are also paid per chore - BUT we pay for no reminders. Dishes need to be done either way, but if I need to track you down, remind you to do them & or correct your work - no $$$. If you do it on your own & A good job - then $$$. I also pay $$$ for extra items - washing baseboards, cars, windows... things I would not normally expect them to do. There is a list on the refrigerator.
It works fairly well & it allows them to figure out how to pay for wanted items... if i want to by a new toy worth $$ then I need to do x number of chores to make $$.
I just think it's silly
I just think it's silly paying a nickel per chore, and equating each chore. Not to mention the PITA for the adult having to keep track of each and every one, over three kids. I paid my kids for jobs that I would pay someone else to do. Like - yardwork. And then I made it worth their while. No nickel an acorn silliness.
Living in a household holds some responsibilities. Chores. Earning money is separate, IMO.
I just think it's silly
I just think it's silly paying a nickel per chore, and equating each chore. Not to mention the PITA for the adult having to keep track of each and every one, over three kids. I paid my kids for jobs that I would pay someone else to do. Like - yardwork. And then I made it worth their while. No nickel an acorn silliness.
Living in a household holds some responsibilities. Chores. Earning money is separate, IMO.
THANK YOU! Finally useful
THANK YOU!
Finally useful advice..
Thanks bNgnd and sueu2
"Finally useful
"Finally useful advice"
Everyone who posted here took time and effort to offer advice. You may not have liked the advice which questioned your system, but it was given with the genuine intention of helping and offering alternative insights. This comment is really dismissive of the effort everybody made.
So Ill be honest and tell you
So Ill be honest and tell you I didn't read through every post prior to mine so if I repeat anything I apologize. My skids are 9 & 10 and have daily chores. We do not pay them as we feel that it is the least they can do to make their beds, keep their rooms clean and on Thursdays they each have one extra chore for us putting a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and food on the table. I did not receive and allowance as a child nor did my husband. When their chores are complete I check them. They are not allowed to go any where or do anyting until I have checked their chores. If they are not done properly then they do it until it is done right. I have also incorporated task boards for each child that hang on the refrigerator. It is simply a dry erase board and I list their tasks/chores for the day an they have to check them off as they complete them. I have found that the visual really helps (especially my SS). Maybe something similar could work for your skids.
It is VERY important that the skids view you and your DH as a team. My DH and I have made this a point and the kids know that I speak to him through out the day and that he knows everything going on (he works crazy hours and I stay at home). For simple issues I decide if punishment is necessary and if so what it will be. For major issues DH and I discuss the situation and come up with the punishment together. With your situation of the dirty floor and broken dishes etc. maybe you and DH should have a conversation together about whats going on and come to an agreement together and then have a family meeting with the kids and share what you and DH have discussed.
As far as punishment this time around I think you may have to let it go but be sure that the kids know that you will be checking their chores and if something similar happens then there will be a punishment. In the past if I have found that one child hasnt been pulling their weight I give the other child the week off and the slacker has to do ALL the chores.
Good Luck! I hope this helped some what.