Ideas on how to get Skids to sleep in the rooms we have for them?
I am starting to stress my summer. The SS11 and SS14 will be here for the entire summer. We live in a 3 bedroom with 2 bathrooms. My son is 13 and has his own room. The spare bedroom is considered the Skids room when they come. The boys anyway. My issue is when they come for their weekend visits they refuse to sleep in there. And usually are crashed out in my living room. My living room has barely enough room for a couch and a TV. Not a big place really. When I get ready for work in the mornings I like to go in make my coffee etc in the kitchen which is right next to the living room. And I do have a routine in the mornings. When the boys are in the living room. I can't sit anywhere. I can't flip on the tv to watch the morning news. When I mention them sleeping in the spare room I don't get very far. Not with them or with SO.
Any suggestions? I can't imagine going the entire summer limited to my bedroom for two hours every morning before I take off to work. And my son is feeling a bit invaded for his room as well. Seems skids just walk in anytime they want even when my son is at his dads for his fathers week. I have shut his door but it seems going in his room is an open invitation to the skids. The skids aren't bad by any means. I love them dearly I just don't know how to set boundries without pissing off SO and the making the skids feel bad.
Make a lot of noise when you
Make a lot of noise when you are getting ready for work in the mornings. If they want to be able to sleep in, then they should sleep in their room.
I second Annoyed... Do what
I second Annoyed...
Do what you normally do... turn on the news, or music, or do your yoga...
If you sit on the couch for a cup of coffee, wake up whoever is there and say, excuse me please I need to sit there.
I might even get into
I might even get into smoothies in the mornings.... ah, the sound of that blender first thing in the morning!
And when they wake up, "It's so awesome that you're an early riser too. You can help me take the trash to the curb."
Get their dad to wake them up
Get their dad to wake them up after they fall asleep n the couch and go to their room. Also enforce a normal bedtime.
Since your on here though you probably have a permissive dad who won't do these things. So in that case, stick a TV and or game system in their room so they can crash in there as they watch TV and play games until all hours of the night. Its probably not good for them, but it's the path of least resistance for you.
I agree with the above
I agree with the above suggestions. Go about your normal routine, don't try to be quiet for them. The bedroom is available for them to use.
Have they commented on why they prefer the living room? I find that a bit odd. Are there two beds in the bedroom?
Doesn't the son live there
Doesn't the son live there full time? A teenager doesn't want someone he barely knows coming in and "rotating" through his room. It makes sense for the visiting kids to share the one spare room.
SD15 lives with us fulltime
SD15 lives with us fulltime so she has her own bedroom. Then we have DD10 and BD3 sharing a bedroom. We also have 2 living rooms. Downstairs next to kids room is their living room and upstairs living room I tend to use.
SD in the summer loves to fall asleep in the upstairs living room which is a pain in the ass!! So I make sure at 6am I let my pugs out of my room and into the living room. They love to lick the face of anyone who happens to be asleep. In fact they live for this!!
Also DH gets up at 5am and makes a loud pot of coffee.
Now when I see her upstairs watching tv and its getting late I always remind her that DH and the dogs are early risers and that usually makes her go back downstairs!!
I also don't like her upstairs because my bedroom wall is against the living room wall!!
This past summer SD17 did the
This past summer SD17 did the same thing! Then would yell at SO parents because they woke her up. (this was when he was taking them to his parents instead of bringing them to our house) IT was ASSNINE. SO parents stopped tip toe'n around her and she just got snotty then SO father finally told her if she didn't like it she could go home to her mother.
My son has his own room
My son has his own room because he is living with us full time. Skids come when ever BM decides. That's a whole different matter. I'm not going to make my son rearrange his life because BM has decided that the boys get to stay the whole summer with us. If their schedule was more regular and more frequent then yes I would consider rotating. The skids share a room at their mother's and are use to each other.
You are all right. I shall make some noise when I get up in the mornings! My luck they will be all hey good morning! Can you make us breakfast before you leave........
I was lucky with my situation
I was lucky with my situation as, the thing I hated was SS lying in late in my sons' then single bedroom. All I needed to do was send in the little brother brigade! The BSs pretended to be a marching band and blasted the slob SS from his slumber at 6:30am. But seriously, you have to set limits here. Your place is not big enough for you to be intruded on like this. You will get incredibly resentful unless you take strong action. I think you have to put more pressure on SO here. If that isn't the approach you favour, then look what is attracting them to the living room. Swap the furniture and equipment round until the items that attract them are in the spare bedroom, and then if they are items like electronic equipment, go into the spare bedroom whenever you want to use it. If that doesn't appeal, then find some way of locking it up for the night when you go to bed. Also, put a lock on the inside of your son's door. It's not fair on him.
If only those rights were
If only those rights were mine. To ground them. That would mean SO would have to abide by that. And I don't see that happening. They do know the "house" rules. But my SO says he was just trying to get them use to the "new house" which hasn't been new IF he had brought them to OUR home a long ass time ago. GRRRRR! That's besides the point I guess. I am going to have to tell them that that is just what they are going to have to do. Because There is no need to have them and their fifteen blankets and pillows all over the living room. I found bunk beds yesterday. top is twin mattress and bottom is full. I am hoping this will help my cause. So I won't have to hear I'm not sleeping next to my brother.
To set the record clear on
To set the record clear on how I view my SS11 and SS13. I love them. They love me. There is no anger between us. In fact they call me, I call them. We have no issues. I do not treat them like "guests". I have welcomed them from the moment they came into my life. I just was looking for some sound advice on how to get my living and couch back in the morning hours while I am getting ready for work and wanting to watch the news. I appreciate everyones advice. And I intend on making some noise this next weekend when they are here for their visit. Not to mention my couch is starting to get all sunken in ;-( and drool marks all over.
Thank you ladies!!!!