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Inconsiderate when making plans

georgina29's picture

Submitted by georgina29 on Thu, 05/31/2018 - 1:53pm

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My husband made plans to take the kids and himself somewhere that involved formal attire. He didn't tell me until the day of as he did not plan it and the kdis suggested it. Needless to say I had nothing to wear as we were out of town. I suggested going shopping and he said he didn't have time to take me but I could go shopping by myself, which wouldve involved a drive an hour and back to the mall which we didnt really have time for. Needless to say he and the kids went without me and I was a little upset about it. He acted ike it was no big deal that I couldnt go and told me to get over it and that it really didnt matter. Is this inconsiderate or am I over reacting? Also the hypcirsy sets in. While they were gone I went to a restaurant by myself that we both had been wanting to try. He got mad because I went without him. It seems a little hypocritical. Honestly Im getting tired at eating places by myself because his kids refuse to eat at certian places or he is too buys with his kids and not considerate enough to include me.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Thu, 05/31/2018 - 3:17pm

Yes, It was very inconsiderate of your H.

Yes, it was awesome that you went alone to to the restaurant he wanted to try. 

Some men can be reasoned with; some only learn by experiencing the pain of consequences, and some never learn at all. This guy seems very self-absorbed, having one failed marriage yet treating you this way. I think I'd keep hitting him with consequences like this for a while to see if he's capable of change. If he doesn't start prioritizing you, I'd be examining my options. No point in wasting your best years on someone who doesn't cherish you.

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Thu, 05/31/2018 - 3:32pm

Yes, keep doing what your doing.  Perfect response to his callous actions.  In the book Divorce Busting is something called the 180.  Basically its how to take care of yourself in face of your spouse's attention pointed elsewhere.  

I think its rich of him to get all butt hurt you went to the restaurant without him.  Did he really expect you to skip it?   *ROFL*  I hope you left a big tip since you didn't have to pay for his dinner.