It's almost like adult SD is the "other woman"
Maybe I'm thinking this because today is one of those days that DH had the urge to visit SD24, her spawn and babys' daddy. I know he'll see BM, too, because she lives down there and couldn't stand NOT to see him. They've been divorced 20+ years. Prior to me coming on scene 5 years ago, BM had remarried, but continued to call DH whenever she needed something fixed at her house or some other menial task. You know, she didn't want him when she HAD him, but she kept inviting him into her life afterwards.
Anyway, when DH has one of his "have to visit" moments, I can't help but wonder what he's up to. (BTW, I am completely disengaged from SD simply because I can't stand the drama she chooses to live with and the total trash her life has become) SD will text him. I know it's from her because of her special little "bling" when she texts (gag gag gag). Within minutes, DH will announce he's going to visit her. It's about an hour's drive. He can go months without seeing her, and then all of a sudden he just HAS to go. I just can't help wonder what kind of drama she's sucking him into. I can't help but wonder what kind of crap she's pulling. And it just pisses me off to no end that BM will be there, especially after she screwed everything that walked and then bailed on DH and the kids so she could do her "own thing". If he was meeting another woman like this, I'd put his butt out in a heartbeat. But, because it's SD, I'm supposed to suck it up and be happy about it. She is 24 years old and still can pull the "Daaaaaaddddddeeeeee" card. I can't stand the "little princess" act.
I know some of the rest of you are in the same boat with this. I don't wish any harm to her, I just wish she'd go far away! Or, maybe if he'd act like her father instead of some kind of "boyfriend", it would be different.
I am an educated woman, financially independent, and not prone to drama or being sucked into any of this crap. But, when it comes to SD, my skin just crawls. It's almost like a high school jealousy. Just too wierd.
I totally agree!!!!!!! BM
I totally agree!!!!!!! BM didn't appreciate him when she had him, but now expects free handyman work from him all the time. Suck it! Let your boyfriend do it. Hire someone. BM sends along thoughtful gifts such as homemade soap, canned goods, back balm, sachets, etc. Shove them up your a$$. Get a job, then you won't have time to be Suzy Homemaker. No offense to the unemployed. She's NEVER been employed. Neither has SD23 or SS25. Time to suck it up and work for minimum wage people. Got to start somewhere.
I soooo agree! I bet if DH
I soooo agree! I bet if DH charged her the standard rates he charges (he's a plumber and heating and A/C tech)she'd quit calling him. But, she's got him thinking he needs to run the second she calls!!!!
I have made it very clear
I have made it very clear that she will NEVER live in this house. She has made very very poor choices in her life, and she can suffer the consequences.
It's not like I sit home pining away for DH when he's gone. I have lots of friends and can pretty much entertain myself. It's just the fact that that little ho' snaps her fingers and he jumps. Aggravates the crap out of me. I think it's because I'm female and I can see the little web she weaves. He's so blind to her trash.
Seems you have a problem
Seems you have a problem with what I refer to as a "back door mistress". Dealt with that for several yrs. when I first married. My DH was divorced from ex over 30 yrs. and his dd's were all adults when I married him. Moving out of state helped a lot to stop the dammzels in distress from conveniently being able to knock at the back door for assistance. Now at 60 he just does not have the energy to do much and they made sure they drained him early on so no money to hand out either. Ex was just as bad as the kids. AFTER REWIRING HER ENTIRE HOUSE HE CAME HOME TO TELL ME"SHE PROBABLY FEELS TERRIBLE SHE EVER FOOLED AROUND AND LOST HIM BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE GAVE UP A GREAT GUY " Ijust rolled my eyes, 'FOOL" IS MORE LIKE WHAT SHE WAS THINKING. OR "DAMN, I'm good can still get him to do things and don't even have to cook."
I felt crazy at first, too.
I felt crazy at first, too. But, the more I thought about it, that's exactly what SD is--the OTHER WOMAN!!! No one will ever have the pull or control over him that she does. I don't see him dropping everything and running for anyone other than her. And, she is a link between him and BM. I do not like it, either, but can't do much about it.
Funny thing is, I sent him a text message today because I had a question about his meds when I was picking them up. I sent that message 6 hours ago, still no reply. I guess he can't hear his cell phone when his head is soooooo far up her ass!
Ridiculous. My parents are
Ridiculous. My parents are still married. NEVER would my dad come running to my house just cause I wanted to see "him". Nope. He might make plans with my mom to go out to eat with our family and invite us...actually, 99% of the time, he makes plans to go out to eat with my mom and if we arrive, he might ask us to go...but other than that, his life is with MY MOTHER...Why is it that once the parents are divorced the daughters think that the father's life is with THEM? I'll never understand.
By the way, I do believe that this whole BS of "daddy daughter dances" has made little girls think that daddy is their "boyfriend" or should be "there for them whenever they feel like it" even if at the expense of the wife...of course, no daughter expects this from her dad UNLESS the parents are divorced. I can assure you that no daughter of an intact family expects her father to leave her mom at home to come visit...that's reserved for daughters of divorce.
Their lives are with their
Their lives are with their daughters because their marriage failed. Things get so shitty with the wife that the only way they can stick around is by fixating on their daughter and making her into some weird sort of substitute wife.
I had to laugh at your comment witsend71...that is the exBM that used to be in my life -- sending veggies from her garden, homemade muffins and cupcakes, homemade bread. Get your ass off to work like the rest of us! This REALLY went up my ass since I was working my ass off putting a roof over her daughter's head and food on the table 50% of the month while she was "taking time off" from her sandwich shop job to fucking "find" herself and spend time with SD (sitting her in front of the TV all summer).
Where is the respect, btw, for the current relationship the exH has with his new partner? Never in a MILLION years would I dream of sending my kids to my exH with a f%^king bag of garden grown green beans and cupcakes. I have too much respect for the life he's trying to create with his wife. That being said, the old exBM knows no boundaries, knows no respect...I don't get it.
Honestly, I don't know how you can handle it -- I sure couldn't. I'd rather be alone than share a man like I was a mistress.
I'm sure she does think I'm a
I'm sure she does think I'm a witch (or something that rhymes with it!). Fact is, I was ON to her little games the minute I met her. How ironic that she got knocked up about 2 months after she realized her dad and I were serious. That way, she could have baby daddy drama and all of that crap going on to hold his attention. And, then, of course, she started to produce spawn and her status was promoted to "golden uterus". She knows how to play DH like a fiddle.
I'm to the point (disengaged) that I just stand back and watch. She is a HOT mess, her life is a HOT mess, and she expects everyone to cater to her. Her day is coming...and I'll be cheering on the sidelines.
Her father (DH) knows exactly where I stand with her. I'm not dealing with her trash...and I just wish DH would wake up from his stupor and realize what she really is. Sigh....
I am so with you and the SD
I am so with you and the SD isn't even out of teen years yet. I really hope it ends. It seems like SD issues are made to be a bigger deal than they are cause she gets all pouty with the daaaaaaaaad thing. Could be handled in a straightforward manner, but SO feels the need to talk for 5 hours about it and to me that's catering to drama. Some things aren't a big deal, don't fall into the drama.
I do feel for you and it would drive me nuts to not know what's going on, and also nuts to know what is going on. You are better than me, I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.
It doesn't help that her shirts are cut too low and she wears too much makeup
Wow, it's so nice to see
Wow, it's so nice to see someone saying this out loud. Ever since she moved to our area a few months ago, I've been thinking the exact same thing about SD22 being the "other woman", DH getting that look in his eye when she's around, etc. It's disgusting and unhealthy. And what a great point that this *only* happens with stepfamilies.