laziness and manipulation
How is it tha a 12 almost 13 year old boy can have an A+ in physical education when he is 5 ft and weighs 180lbs. He dosnt even do most of the physical stuff because of his "asthma". Hes my ss and omg its like my wife cannot see how he manipulates things. Im told I cant or shouldnt keep icecream in the freezer or syrup in there amongst other things. Look im a recovered alcoholic who has years clean and I pointed put tjat she keeps booze in the fridge. Dosnt mean I drink it. It comes down to personal accountability. I have RA and have a very physical job. I dont makee excuses for shit in life and its like all I hear is her making excuses for him and his brother. I have tried repeatedly for 2 year to mentor them but keep getting sidlined. I am so lost at how she keeps making excuses for him. Grom him assulting a kid at school on video and her blaming the other kid to him attacking me 4 times,to him commiting credit card fraud. He lies and manipulates his counselors and psychologist. I gave up on calling him out on it a long time ago. Im starting to see that it isnt his father but his mom he learned this from, especially after talking to a few members of her family when she wasnt around. I love her but she is a very"im the victim nothing is ever my fault" kind of person. I have been isolated from my friends and family because it is a huge argument if I ever do something withput her. Its not like we spent 400 dollars celebrating her birthday that turned into a 2 1/2 day celebration. To be honest I want to take my bio 3 year old son who I have full custody of and leave.Hes her ss. I have almost no one to talk to and im sick of a 11 and 12 year old controling and manipulating my marriage. Any constructive criticism and advice would be greatly appreciated and helpful. I doont get ass hurt or defensive easy. Thank all of you on here. This site has been a blessing
Im not great at advice since
Im not great at advice since I'm new to the SM world - but if I were in your shoes I would take my son and go. Sounds like nothing will get better since your SS is manipulating counselors and psychologists and his mother is a "victim" herself.
Sorry you are going through this.
Im new to steptalk too,...but
Im new to steptalk too,...but oh my god.... a recovering alcoholic and she keeps alcohol in the house?!
Wow, that just screams insensitivity. That is especially the case when she asks you not to have ice cream in the house...wow.
I'm so sorry.
Why would you continue to
Why would you continue to expose your 3yo to this toxic creator of toxic children? Rekey the locks and put this woman and her spawn out of the lives of you and your young son. Do both of you a favor.
Take care of yourself.
Isolating their partner from
Isolating their partner from his friends, plus displaying the victim mentality are all big red flags for a personality disorder , which is extremely bad news. Look up borderline or narcissistic PD and decide if you want your life to be like this - with you on the sidelines, getting no respect in your own home. Your partner is a lousy parent whose son sounds like an apple that did not fall far from the tree. Give it a few more years and your SS will become a real horror as a teen. Take your son and go. You can find a healthier relationship. Cut your losses.
I was thinking the same
I was thinking the same thing. Also signs of a psychopath.
Thank you guys for your
Thank you guys for your responses. I have left once before and then after we met with our pastor(who she ran to when I left) in which thinking back I was guilted into making this work. We moved in with MIL to buy a house because the rental we were in that she got with her X BF was.over 100yrs old full of mold making us sick. She was totaly different for the first couple of weeks but over time shes.right back to not caring about nothing but herself. It sounds small but I listen to her bitch my whole lunch hpur and for atleast 2 hours every night about her job and life in general. Its kinda finny I calmly pointed out last night how she dosnt listen to anything I say. She says "yes u do you were just talking about the roof at work". I stared back at her with a blank stare and I said thats not even close. I was telling you about the inside.of the church we are building. Omg did she get defensive and mad. I didnt have to do anything to prove my point just an hour later. We ordered pizza. They had a special on two larges. I said get the.one a supreme and the second.pepperoni and xtrat cheese. She gets hers and then mine with.ground beef and onions. In two years I have never ate anything but pepperoni pizza. NEVER lol. I dont care for it and its really unhealthy. We get.home im like WTH is this. Shes was like "thats whats you wanted. Omfg I looke at her and calmly said "proof right.here ypu dont even liten to anything I say". This is aftet MIL got hime reminded SS12 his soda was on the table without a lid and the cat was getting a bath. He got mputhy as hell and I had enough. I told the wife im done dealing with this shit. She came into the bedroom and said she didnt want him to break up our marriage and that you cant let a year old control me. Omfg I cannt wait to get granted fu custody of my 3 yr old bio around the 19th and then im making plans to leave. His mom got hooked on meth after we split and shes now in jail.Their is so much more.but after reading the responses.and taking a hard look at the situation I have to realize it not going to change. I even got told by her the other night when she wad upset"im sorry I.didnt get my chance to get therapized". Refering to my ongoing counsling. I guess.im just sick of getting kicked in the balls everyday. I went from writing her a letter every morning and buying her.jewelry which she lost.the ear rings.necklace I got her for our anniversary to now Iget up and just go to work. I volvolunteer to work on weekends my sons at his grand parents just so im not here. I go to my room if I.get.hime before.her because.of her boys. I know what needs to be done. Thank you.guys.