Man, I've got it good right now:)
So after the last skid melt down where they all decided never to come over to our (MY) house again, things couldn't be better. DH NEVER answers the phone, responds to email, or texts from BM anymore(she never communicates important things - just bitches and moans). He calls the kids to say good night and texts them to see how they are doing, but they are still mad so the calls are always super short. Why are they mad? Because I am "two-faced", which they define as me not liking their mom. They agree with DH that I have been nothing but completely nice and gone out of my way to do all kinds of fun things for them. I have never said anything mean about their mom to them and have never lost my temper with them. NEVER. However, I have let BM know what I think about her and she told them. Therefore, I am evil and two-faced, they want their dad to divorce me, and they aren't coming over anymore.
Sounds good to me! My weekends are skid free now so no more non-stop cleaning and picking up after teens all weekend (they will literally pile trash on the sink if the can is full instead of walking the trash outside ten feet to the cans). No more cooking 5 different dinners for a vegetarian, a meat eater, and a kid who will only eat cheese or pasta (no joke). I've turned their rooms back into guest rooms and had a big slumber party weekend for DD3 last weekend.
The best part is that DH is fully onboard with just going up to see them for the next 6 months so I can enjoy this almost permanently. Even after that, SD17 will be 18 and in college far, far, away so she won't be coming back period, I am quite certain BM won't let us take her gross nephew anymore so BIG win for me there, and SS12 is only coming back if he can have a civil discussion (not possible) with DH and I and stops this behavior. No more driving all over hell's creation to pick up the skids - even if SS12 decides to come back, after this last round, DH isn't going to ask me to drive to BMs again. No more seeing BM's horrible self when she picks them up from our house. No more constant requests and guilt trips to get things from us that BM is too cheap to provide. I am LOVING life!
Turning GREEN with envy over
Turning GREEN with envy over here.
Good for you. Sounds like its
Good for you. Sounds like its well deserved, enjoy it!
Posts like yours make me feel
Posts like yours make me feel a little better about myself. I raised SD12 for 7 years and felt my kids and myself were no longer safe in our home so we sent her to her mom. I felt so guilty for that...but I see you are putting your foot down and requiring SS to treat you with respect if he comes back. Makes me feel better...that it is ok to stand up for yourself and your kids even if that means the steps have to stay away.
Don't feel guilty. DH and I
Don't feel guilty. DH and I put up with ALOT. Badmouthing us publicly, to DH's relatives (who BM won't let go of), sending nasty emails whenever DH didn't have the money to give them something they wanted. SS12 walks around calling DH names almost the entire time he is here. SD17 went through my personal computer and reported back to BM on whatever she found. Now they are "punishing" us and trying to control DH by saying that they aren't coming over again. It can't be allowed to happen. And DH totally agrees with me that they need to learn that there are repercussions for their actions. The thing is that they LOVE coming over here to a big, clean house stocked with all their favorite foods, where they can go in the hot tub, watch movies and play video games in their rooms, go shopping with me, go out and do fun things, play on the computers. We don't have yelling or tension in this house. That isn't how I live. Contrast that with BM's tiny, filthy house with almost no food on the shelves because she won't work full time and is trying to support herself and three kids on CS meant for two kids only. There is constant yelling and screaming everytime we call them. The kids are always calling us upset. BM has a different, gross, man a couple times a year that she tries to get them to play "daddy" with and they've hated all of them. I know they are going to get mad at their mom, probably within the month, or want to come back to have a nice weekend here and it isn't going to happen for quite a while. They are going to learn that if they badmouth people or try to control the situation, then what they are asking for is going to happen. Also - the way I look at it, is if BM is so great - then they can be with her full time for a while. Whew! I can't even imagine, lol.
Betcha I am more green than
Betcha I am more green than you Planning!! LOL
So jealous but yet so happy
So jealous but yet so happy for for you girl!
Great feeling, isn't it? I
Great feeling, isn't it? I recently entered the "skid-free zone," and am loving it!
I still get a buzz from the
I still get a buzz from the weekends being skidfree !!! And it's been years now !! In the old days it just felt like work was 7 days a week, no time off.... And I really do not miss hauling skids around at weekends, being their glorified taxi drivers !!!
Sweetnothings