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Newbie Mini-Rant

WitchiePoo's picture

Submitted by WitchiePoo on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 9:59pm

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Hi! Newbie here. Thank goodness I found this site. I'm currently huddled over my cell phone seeing what fun stuff comes up under Google searches for "I can't stand my stepkids." A little harmless stress release for stepmom here. We are at the tail end of a 2-week "vacation" stay. BM decided she wanted to go party with friends and left early Christmas Eve at the last minute. She's cuckoo and a huge reason the kids are the way they are. I told my husband that I never in a million years thought my schedule would ever be dictated by a psycho, yet .......

I have one ss who's10 and an sd 11. The BM has meager parenting skills and they don't have much discipline. What drives me nuts is that DH and I are supposedly on the same page as far as discipline but it's left to me and I end up being the bad guy. Ugh. And because they don't see their dad much it's needy-clingy-ville when they're here. I get it but it still bugs me. And they're very emotionally immature. My ss actually cries and walks in place and has the other affectations of a toddler at times, including baby talk. He's extremely timid and showed up with a stuffed animal to carry around in public and to sleep with the last few visits.

My sd is a harder read but she is also very emotionally immature. She's a little sneaky and "collects" items that I have to dig out of her bag before she leaves.

I work from home,so for the last 2 weeks I've not been able to get much done, and it's very frustrating.

Thanks for letting me vent!

WitchiePoo's picture

Submitted by WitchiePoo on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 10:43pm

And they both lie to me all the time. I fantasize that they set sail in a hot air balloon then magically reappear 20years older with jobs and homes in foreign countries.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Submitted by attempting_to_m... on Fri, 01/04/2013 - 11:39pm

I agree with dtzy. If you and your DH are on the same page, but, you're the one who's doing the disciplining, you're just the whipping post for the skids. It plays out that way in my house when SD13 visits. SO and I will talk about how we're both on the same page about something, but, when it comes down to it, he gives in and just lets SD skirt around a lot of things that we have tried to set in place. It makes me look like I'm the bad guy and it gives SD fodder to play the "poor me" card and to try and put a wedge between me and SO. It has improved over the years, but, not much. Let's just say I wouldn't have disengaged this summer if it had improved drastically haha.

Best to just step back and let DH take care of it for a while. Either he should be doing it all, or you should both be doing it and backing each other up. You shouldn't be doing it by yourself.

As far as your SD stealing things, my SD does that, too. I can't even begin to count all the things that she has taken home from our house by "accident". Now, I just try to hide whatever I don't want her to steal and have set firm limits about what is and isn't her's to use.