NO rihgt...no no none
I have read a lot of posts that sternly say.....We as Step Parents have no rights. Whos says - (ya ya I know the courts would or whatever...) In one post was said by a teacher you have no rights; I was told by a counselor. But why; why is it like this. Couldn't BD write a note telling teacher to give you info as well. Or it just be "made known" to let you in your Schild's life as well. Especially for parents like me (and I am sure a lot you U) who have 3 other children and a SD who's BM wrote her off. I am a person who deserves to be treated with some level of courtesy. Right?? I know a lot of people are all about disengaging (I have tried it for the past few nights for the first time in 11 -12 Years) and I feel guilty; like I am depriving myself. Opionion; I just want to know why it is like this; considering how it is these days; most families are blended; it is rare for bio parents to stay together......
Where did that come from; not
Where did that come from; not a legal ? by any means!! I was simply questioning why it was so hard to JUST co exist; that was all. I mean who cares if your a step parent or not; you are still taking care of this child and being in their lives; is what was meant by the post; not as you took it.........thanks though :? :? :? :?
I understand the frustration,
I understand the frustration, but we have no rights unless we adopt these kids. We are just the people that married their Dad or Mom. No more or less. It is what it is. These laws are to protect the kids. How many people should have control over what they say or do? The people that brought them into this world. If they can't, then the people who legally adopt them. Whoever that may be.
Half the problems that arise in blended families are because people don't recognize legal or emotional boundaries. If we did, then most problems might go away.
I hear ya!! Half the problems
I hear ya!!
Half the problems that arise in blended families are because people don't recognize legal or emotional boundaries. If we did, then most problems might go away.
Well said...
Good point; and yes my income
Good point; and yes my income wasn't calculated in CS for her mom; but now that she is with us FT; I am the one driving my vehicle; getting her hair cut; buying her girl things; this and that..... I guess it is a catch 22. So I also guess that disengaging is probably the way to go.
I am new to that whole thing; are you kind of just like a friend then?? Do they still have to let you know where they are going and when they will be home; or do they just come and go as they please as long as the Bio parent knows......
Thanks!!
Thanks!!
All of this!!! Everything
All of this!!! Everything you said.
In my situation as a mostly
In my situation as a mostly NCP SM, I had no rights concerning SS. However, BM's 2nd husband who became CP SF seemed to have more rights than even DH! SF was listed on the school paperwork as "father", even though DH submitted his information along with a copy of his DD proving joint custody of SS. SF signed permission slips, took SS out of school when needed, etc. It was never an issue that SF was not a legal guardian. There was always this assumption by the school that DH was a dead-beat dad. This was several years ago as SS is 18 now. But DH struggled with this for a long time.
As for disengaging questions.
As for disengaging questions. You need to make it be what you are comfortable with. For me, if the SK's want to do something, they clear it with their Dad. If he is not home, and we haven't discussed it, I have them call him. If he can't answer I will make a decision. But, if I can deflect it to him, I do. I do not want the responsibility. Our house works like this. His Kids, his problem. My kid, my problem. It is working for us. I only take them places if DH is working. Otherwise, DH handles everything.