pet names
My H calls his daughter several different pet names. He calls his son things like that also. In fact, he basically uses a pet name with them every time he speaks to them. He does it to the point where it's sickening.
He only calls me two things. One is a Hebrew word that basically everyone calls everyone, the same way we use the word "honey" in English. So it is not very special. He used to call me "Angel" but completely stopped because we had a few fights. Now he only calls me this generic one.
Well, it bothers me because for some reason, after she turned 18, he started calling her by the same pet name he calls me. He started using the ones he calls her a little less, but still does it. I don't know if it's because she's older or what.
But it bothers me alot, because he never ever calls me by her pet names, and yet he calls her by mine. Also, he used to call my bio son "sweetie" and he never does that anymore either. And I think it's just so that his own kids don't get jealous.
Does your partner call their kids by names that make you sick? Or am I just being stupid?
Nope
You certainly are not stupid. Something is definitely wrong with him.
Hey! Welcome to the world of needless drama!!! I don't know if that's funny or sad.
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Nicknames
Okay, here are some of the little "pet names" I hear my husband calling our children, step and bio alike. If you want any of them, they're all yours...
Squirrelbutt
Hoobastank
Buddy
Hey, boy
Girlfriend
Bob (Neither of our sons is actually named Bob, Robert or anything in the Bob family.)
George (this is usually used for the girls, obviously not named George.)
Fartknocker
Fruitcake
Nutjob
Beauty Queen
Drama Girl
Overacter
I usually get "oh, wife" or "honey" myself. Sometimes I get "dear" or "sweetheart," but mostly I'm just "hon." I have been called "evil wench" before, but that's another story.
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook
That's funny...
My favorite was when we saw "P.S. I love you" on Christmas and he called her "Big Mama". That's what DH calls me and I call him "Big Daddy".
We don't really have pet names for the kids. Except maybe "donkey" when they are being arses....
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
haha- i think that you guys
haha- i think that you guys can just keep those names for yourselves
although they are very funny
HA HA HA
Anne, that is too freaking funny!
But anyway, Chava: I'm telling you, girl, he is slowly cutting you out of his life. His daughter is taking your place in his life. It wouldn't surprise me if there is a Woody Allen thing going on there. His relationship with his daughter is just plain gross. This goes way beyond dysfunctional.
I know you said you don't do it intentionally, but stop leaving your clothes on the floor. He will only turn it around on you. He will tell you why should he yell at her for doing the very thing you do. You need to be beyond reproach here. Don't give him anything to use against you, it will only serve to strengthen his position with his daughter.
And by the way, my husband always calls me sweetheart.
I believe that in a way,
I believe that in a way, this is correct. it seems that when we didn't live together, he was always wanting to be with me. my therapist said that i used to be an escape from his stressful life, and now i'm just another part of it. i do think that he would be happy being alone with his kids, and that they are all he really needs to feel complete.
i don't think that he has a sexual attraction to his daughter, but i think that he definitely can give others the impression that he is weirdly in love with her. because he cares more for making sure that she's happy than anything, and does not care how she treats others. he doesn't want to see the truth about her, even if it means he won't be able to help change her bad behavior, and he is always creating reasons to be protective over her, including making me into the bad guy who is out to get her, even when i'm upset for a very legitimate reason.
i will take your advice about not leaving clothes on the floor anymore. and i do predict that next time she does something like that and i complain, he will turn it around and say that i do it as well.
Do you know why?
Do you know why he gets defensive and protective any time you complain? Because it is a direct reflection on his parenting skills, or in his case, the lack of. He knows he's wrong but won't admit it. This is all going to come back and bite him in the azz and then he'll act like he doesn't know what went wrong. And the reason you two were happier when you weren't living together is because you probably had no idea of the truth of the situation between him and his kids. It was like a nice little secret, well now the secret it out, you see him for what he really is, a spineless man/boy who has no clue how to parent and who's lost total control of his kids.
I just can't say this enough, but you need to get your son and get the heck out of Dodge!
That's exactly true. He
That's exactly true. He doesn't know how to parent, and doesn't want to admit it, so he shifts the blame to me. But he's going to see in the future, their total lack of success in life. And I really don't want to be around to deal with them when they are adults and still can't do anything for themselves. He'll always find some excuse- part of it is that he's also lazy. He's too lazy to do any of the hard work that parenting involves, and prefers to buy them off instead.
My husband calls me one
My husband calls me one generic pet name and we have sons so if he calls them the same name .. that would be bizarre.
Maybe you should see the intent behind the names. Is the tone sweet when he calls you the name? Is his tone sweeter to his kids? Maybe that is what bothers you the most?
Either way, talking to your partner about it is the only way to fix it or else let it go.
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln