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Prenup??

theoutsider's picture

Submitted by theoutsider on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 12:48pm

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General Discussion

FDH shared with me that he would like a prenup.

He said the only thing he wants is that the house which is in his name and on his tamils land forever stay with his family. That if we ever got divorced I would not take any part of the land ....

He also mentioned later that I could add to it that the money I inherit (within a couple years it will be close to half million), that I could put in it that its mine....

We had talked before about using my inheritance to pay off the house and farm land in his name and adding my name to it.

And if we are married that makes sense to do....

I guess I'm just wondering what you all have done.
Anyone have a prenup?

FDH and I are both divorced.

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 12:50pm

I would agree that prenups are a good idea, especially if skids and ex's are still in the picture.

However, I would be sure to include somehow that if your inheritance is used to pay off his debts, that you are entitled to a fair share of what you've invested in .. meaning, he shouldn't be allowed to keep the house and farm if you've paid it off.

overworkedmom's picture

Submitted by overworkedmom on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 12:51pm

Just looking at this on the surface, I would say that I would sign it but not pay off the land or house, OR that it needs to be stated that if you divorce he has to buy you out of any $ that you have invested in the property.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 12:53pm

I do not have a prenup, but I have a question. Is he still wanting you to use your money on the land?

theoutsider's picture

Submitted by theoutsider on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 1:45pm

Yes. He is supposed to get an inheritance when his grandmother pases too, but much less...

We have talked since the beginning of paying off debt first with whatever money comes in.

Annoyed1's picture

Submitted by Annoyed1 on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 1:06pm

Hi Echo!

So, you got a prenup for your business? I own my own business and am not even married to FDH (wedding is next year, once all this court drama with BM settles down). Right now, BM is trying to get her hands in MY business. I did start up the business after I met FDH, but it is still 100% mine. Did the prenup protect your business after you got married? Thanks for your time.

step off already's picture

Submitted by step off already on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 12:56pm

I believe that inherited money (as long as it is not commingled) belongs only to the spouse receiving the inheritance.

However every state is different, so it wouldn't hurt to put it in there.

I'm assuming that FDH will not be asking you to put money towards the mortgage and upkeep of the property and land if he does not want you to lay claim to it.

I'd make sure to get a lawyer to make sure you are best representing your interests.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Thu, 06/20/2013 - 1:08pm

I have no problem with prenups to protect your assets, even though some people say it is starting the marriage off on the wrong foot. I believe that it is setting expectations and decreasing possible friction in the future.

I am assuming that this inheritance is going to be part of the prenup. But I would suggest, if that is the case, that you do NOT use any of that money to pay off anything that you are not going to have a say in. At LEAST have it written in that if he passes on, you get to stay there for your lifetime, if you so desire before it reverts back to the skids.

Yeah, it's been in his family...but when you get married aren't YOU his family? What if you guys have a kid? Will you be resentful that his prior kids get the farmstead and your child gets cut out?

My DH and I do not have a prenup. We both had kids prior to our marriage and we both came into the marriage with diddly squat.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Submitted by SanAntonioSoccerMom on Fri, 06/21/2013 - 12:49pm

That will only work if the property appreciates in value. Making that assumption is risky when investing all of your money in a property if you expect to get value out of it. Personally in this day and age real estate is not the cash cow it once was, I would be too scared of another market crash. Then what? No equity means no money. I would not invest my money in his family property.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Submitted by SanAntonioSoccerMom on Fri, 06/21/2013 - 12:46pm

Regardless of a prenup, your inheritance will be your sole "property" as long as you do not comingle it. As would his home and land as it is premarital. The only thing is, that you would be entitled to any appreciation on the property from the day you married on.

Also on the inheritances, "don't count your chickens before they hatch".