Psychiatrist told a friend to leave her husband!
Just an update for those who joined my blog these past few days.... FH has got me an appointment to see a Psychiatrist next week Wednesday (he is trying to get it moved forward because he simply cannot deal with me and my "issues" any longer! - last night I ripped into SS13 (14 ys in 2 weeks) because he came through to us and said "Yay it's my birthday on Monday!" His birthday is only on the 13th Sept, so I snapped "no it's not! wish you Goosen kids would learn to read a calender!" Oops! I have been trying to train myself to zip it when these sarcastic comments come into my mind..but this one slipped out. These kids are always getting dates wrong & the bio parents believe them and then we all go into flat spins!! So FH remarked that not everyone is perfect! Anyway I took an anxiety tab and a couple of tabs that make me sleep and crashed for the night until 12pm today....just cannot handle being around my family step or otherwise at the moment (SS13 was at home today as he is in homeschool and they break on a Wed, so lucky me has him all to myself every Wed - fortunately my lady helper comes on a Wed and can look after him)
Now FH tells me he is nervous about next Wed visit to the head-quack because this same Doc advise an aquaintance of his to leave her husband & she did. Now he thinks the same might happen to me. So needless to say he insists on coming with me to the appointment so he can "knock his lights out" if he tries anything like that with me!
Thanks for the support once again! It's actually nice to get it off my chest and not harbour it inside. Part of my problem is the SS13 because I cannot stand being around him and it depresses me to be like this! But I cannot tell Fh this of course. He does know that the child irritates me.
Thanks again!
MG
I had a therapist say the
I had a therapist say the same thing. I find it amazing that they can do this. But, your husband sounds afraid that you would listen to the therapist. Someone is feeling guilty. Don't let him go with you. You need to do this alone.
Therapist are usually dead
Therapist are usually dead on; they say things you know but don't want to hear! I told mine - I can't leave my fiance and her reply was "What would you be leaving?" No reply...
As a therapist I've never
As a therapist I've never told anyone to leave their spouse. That's unethical. However, I can lead them to weigh out the decision on their own.
My issues are not with my
My issues are not with my relationship per say, FH and I are very compatable and we share the same dreams and aspirations. We have hauled ourselves 'out of the gutter' and are now finally starting to get on our feet and we have done this together and side-by-side. I don't think that I could ever leave him unless he cheats on me or physically or mentally abuses me or my kids. He's a gem of a man...just very very stressed and overworked.
Our only setbacks have been the kids. Firstly his BD18 who came to live with us about 18 months ago under the premise that she would complete her high school education (which we paid for)by correspondence, but really only because she wanted to move closed to her bf. We had living hell with her and when she anounced that she was engaged while still under our roof and with 2 years of High School still to get through, I threw my toys and made FH tell her to call the engagement off or leave. Kids playing adult games WILL NOT do so under my roof! She disobeyed every rule we put inplace for when the bf slept over (he stayed 100km away) and could not respect us and our feelings about sex in our home and inappropriate behaviour in front of the other kids, 10 & 12 at that time. She lied, stole and manipulated. She then chose to move out and in with her bf and got engaged. 18 months down the line she is working, only has grade 10 and with a new bf. She phones (or shall I say miss-calls) FH everyday. She is finding it tough out there... boo hoo!
Then my BS20 moved in for 10 months to get back on his feet. We provided him with a job at our music school as he took music as a subject at high school and is very talented. He left to start his own school (met a girl) and started a teaching career last month. The strain there was that he manipulated me emotionally and made me feel very sick with his constant mood swings and unhappiness.
BD11 was abused as a 3 yr old by exH son by previous marriage and she has her own issues which is a long story, but of all the kids she is the most stable, conciencous and well mannered. Bit sloppy but hey, she's only 11. She's a beautiful child and doesn't let anyone stand on her toes. SS13 has ADD (so tired of that excuse) his main ambition in life is for people to like him. But it backfires daily on him because he takes it too far and lands up annoying more than pleasing. He has some very bad distasteful habits and cannot communicate properly because he cannot,...sorry WON'T read and therefore his vocab sucks. He will say "can I have that thing over there" huh? sorry...speak clearly and properly and slowly and THINK before you open your mouth! He interuppts adult conversation and always thinks he knows best. He accuses neighbours of doing things he has no proof of, just to win our favour because he knows we are not happy with them at the moment (adds fuel to the fire) eventhough we tell him that he must mind his own business and keep out of adult issues.
Oh dear!...I am ranting again....
I don't mind FH coming to my first session of therapy, as it will probably just be gathering information on my past and how I am feeling. I will attend the subsequent sessions on my own and if necessary secretly ask the therapist to advise one-on-one sessions is order to allow me to be relaxed. I have nothing to hide from FH besides the fact that I don't like his son (didn't want to use the "H" (hate) word but he already knows that I don't get on with his son.
Thanks again for all the input.
I am feeling numb today but have forced myself to stay up after the family left for school and work. Have to snap out of these doldrums!
MG