I would bitch too. But if he has had it out with the kids and they are still doing it, they are not to be alone in the house or have keys to the house. Very easy.

If they are still doing it and he doesn't want you to talk to them directly, sorry, but I don't buy that he has actually spoken with any of them.

I went through that. He would allow her all over the house preparing SS weekend bag even though he already had one packed by me and SS. She hugged DH goodbye and made suggestive comments to him. Talked to me like she employed me. I turned the whole thing around like she was our babysitter for the weekend. Well she was in a way because she handed her son over aged 3mths to DH following 5yrs of IVF and 1000s of pounds. DH 'employed' another poor woman to bring up his son until he was 7yrs. She started kicking off about his ex then his ex and himself got her out in a very cruel way in the courts saying that SS didn't need another parent because even though they were divorced, they were still a very tight family and that the woman was causing problems. All she wanted was contact with a boy that SHE had raised. He never married the woman so she didn't have a leg to stand on. Less than a year later, he met me, another employee. Following a nasty argument, I went to my mums for a week and when I returned, she called me screaming down the phone. How dare you abandon my son! She told me in her temper that my DH and her talk on the phone every day and they still love each other deeply. He denied laughed and said he only spoke to her while I was away. I then told him that if she ever came near my home again that I would rip her head off. SS was then 14 so he would walk up the road to meet her. Outcome... 4yrs later, I agreed that the 3 of them could have a family meeting about SS moving in with her which was DH idea. He came back and said that if I can't live in same house as his son then it's over. Mentalgirl I think the writing is on the wall for both of us. Big hugs (((())))

Everyone will be happier if you two go your separate ways.

By the way a good counselor should have given you the tools you need in 2 or 3 months. It's been a waste of money after 3 weeks if you didn't find them helpful.

Like a lawyer its often just about the money.

For 13 years everytime DH's ADULT kids are in town, of course, they visit here as well as the ex (their mom). However, the ex ALWAYS has to drive them here despite the fact the ADULT kids have their own cars. The story was always the same - the ex would drop off 1 kid, then needed to speak to another kid that was in our house, so it turned out to be a revolving door. And of course, it ALWAYS happened at dinner.

I remember a couple years ago when the same shit was going on that I finally said "since your mom is here again, should I invite her in for supper?" I guess my message got acrossed and she finally left for the day.

I told my DH that if HIS ex was always going to be coming over, then I might invite MY ex to visit as well. This didn't go over too well.

*Sigh*

I've said this about a dozen times now on these boards. Never, ever, EVER let the ex into your house! They come in, see one empty bottle of beer on coffee table and next thing you know *BAM* CPS is being called and you are accused of being an alcoholic and an unfit parent (I WISH I was exageratting).

I get that Mentalgirl feels violated here, but there is a bigger picture here that everyone needs to see ESPECIALLY her BF. You never give the enemy any kind of intelligence on what your living conditions are like. Heck, I pull the blinds and put my garbage out back whenever Donkeykong shows up. The less he knows what is inside my house the better!

I just think this is all very bizarre - I have NO desire to enter my ex husband's house - EVER. I think it's strange that people do this!

if BM is well educated as you say, then i would tell her your plan to file a no tresspass order and she should be smart enough to respect it.