Yeah DH would def need to do that. She would probably laugh at me and say she is happy to help and make it into a "well I know you guys need the money" thing or something

If he and I ever had a kid? You bet your ass I wouldn't let her do what she's done to them. They are spoiled at grandmas house.

I see your point.

In your opinion, do you think DH should be calling sd out on not so adult thinking (things she and I may end up fighting over eventually) to teach her the right way or let her just develop adult thinking on her own lol because some things I just don't know if I can wait for.

Yesterday we went to seaworld with the in laws and she threw a huge fit over who she was going to sit next to on a ride. It had to be her Gma. Her grandpa should have because she has physical problems and probably shouldn't have riden anyway, but sd11 cried and DH and I were telling her no to sit by me and fil stepped on our toes and made it work for her, because she kept whining. It just makes me sick and resentful. Sometimes I wonder if in those moments I'm looking at her with that evil look even though I'm trying not to. Can't help it.

DH and I are def working on him handling more of the discipline. It's hard because there are so many issues, it's difficult to tackle any if we can't work on just one. Not sure if that made sense!

Haha thanks anyways OC

Haha I get what you are saying and you sound like MIL. MIL is really giving to them and us and happy to help especially since im unemployed. DH and I just feel that if we can pay, we would like to. They are always paying for everything. Dinners, bringing food over from costco, they paid are per person fee for our family reunion camping trip and they babysit a lot.

This is just ONE incident. She asks them for everything if we don't give something to her. Lol but yes I would never expect them to give us anything!!

I don't agree. Her parents are supposed to provide for her. Meaning her dad should be buying the face wash when the old one is out. No one else is responsible for providing for kids but the parents.

However if grandparents want to buy them things, great. But kids should know to go to their parents for their needs IMHO.

Ahhhhhh ook aswang, so she feels like she's walking on eggshells asking me for a face wash, yet she has NO problem begging me to take her to mulligans, to the mall for a "shopping spree" as she says, and suggests we go out to expensive restaurants constantly? And that's not even the beginning of her list of demands that aren't needs.

You SO need to learn to be more open minded, this is more than just face wash! This is about respect and doing what you are told. Simple to do.

I don't feel it's wrong because we share our income and me getting her what she needs is the same thing as DH getting it for her, except I'd be able to get it while he's working so we could be together when he's off.

I did not deny her to sit next to the grandparent once again. First of all, DH, me, fil all preferred she sit with ANYONE else but her because she needed fil to sit by her because she has physical issues bc she is older. Sd didn't care, she wanted what she wanted and was whining and crying until she got what she wanted. DH told her after the ride that she will be sitting next to whoever we tell her to from now on and not my Gma and that she will get the opposite of what she wants if she whines.

Not sure what your problem is with me. I guess you are just sick of me posting on here. Sad for you I'm not going anywhere!!!

What everyone isn't understanding is that my post includes DH too. Doesn't matter if I talk about him. He feels exactly the same way about this behavior she has which is why everyone on here is ignoring the actual issue and blaming me for judging an 11 year old for what they call normal behavior. I've seen you all bash way more simple behavior and I don't get why this is not a big deal.

It's not about face wash for the thousandth time. She does demand big ticket items. She does throw a fit on Xmas if she doesn't get what she wants, she is pissed that we don't spoil her.

Geez I try to be nice and acknowledge some nice traits she has but I get attacked!
She pushes them to the side to be a brat constantly.

You all can talk about how much you despise your skids and wish they would disappear and in one forum years ago the horrible hateful things that would cause CPS to be called, yet I can't have a simple vent? Haha it's embarrassing you all are embarrassing yourselves. It's dumb that you can't see. DH provides everything she needs, it's never enough and never will be.

My DH does have a job. We are not dependent on in laws. We just enjoy spending time with them. We live 2 mins from them, it's not like we're going to stop going over there "just because"

The solution is for DH to implement his values on sd like he's been doing and hope one day she values it. However when a couple gets divorced there's not much control over how they turn out bc you can't change BM, and BM and sd are very similar in this aspect.

We don't expect her to be perfect by any means. But for her to fight parents, steps and grands for what she wants isn't right is all. It's frustrating and makes me not want to be in the same room, makes me dread their visits, and dread family outings when we can't just be happy when my kid is being fine but the skids are the only ones causing problems. DH is frustrated he has to punish them on these outings and it's very natural for me to feel this way. I read other posts, and know others are exhausted too.

Thanks for the input guys.