SD16 has done some REALLY nasty things to me. She is almost ALWAYS nice to our faces... but she has manipulated her dad, started drama with her mom, hacked our social media pages, etc. It has been a HORRIBLE year. In the past year, she has only agreed to visits twice - once to get her birthday presents and once to get her Christmas presents. Ohh... and she made sure to blast him on Mother's Day because he didn't buy anything for HER and HER SISTER (SD13). Ummm... since when do kids get anything on Mother's Day? Hmm..

Anyways. DH finally had enough of them and basically told them he was done with their nonsense. He wasn't putting up with it anymore and placed a bunch of conditions on them if they wanted to spend time with them. They are also not welcome in our home until they can prove they can be trusted. Well... SD16 has started texting him a couple times a week saying things like "how are you?," etc. SD13 is nasty and doesn't speak - even when spoken to. So, DH has decided that SD16 is "SOOOoooo much better now!" and wants to pretend like nothing EVER happened. Although, he is still upset with SD13.

In reality, other than being nasty and mean to our faces, SD13 hasn't caused *that* much drama. SD16 has been spiteful, vengeful, and made up SO many lies I've lost track. She also went and badmouthed me to most of my in-laws. But, a couple texts later and DH is acting like I am the crazy one for not being over the moon excited.

I don't like them. I don't really want a relationship with either of them. When confronted, she absolutely refused to acknowledge or apologize for ANYTHING she has done. But, DH said that because she said she wants to work on their relationship, he is forgiving all, basically. Whatever... not my kid. I don't just forgive that easily.

How do you handle the resentment from all the past problems? Sometimes it causes me to dislike my DH - who is an amazing man that supports me, sets good boundaries with the BM and always puts me first? It is mostly that he can't "stay mad" at his kids. Which, I suppose is a normal thing for parents... I'm not a parent though - and I don't love his kids at all, much less love them unconditionally. When he talks about them in any positive way, it makes my stomach turn.

I tried at first. I was so enthusiastic about meeting them. I used to try helping him build a better relationship with them. Then I realized it was fruitless. I am in the process of disengaging. To some extent I have... I just can't handle my DH acting like his daughter is the prettiest/nicest/warmest girl on earth when she is anything BUT. Then, he still treats SD13 like she has the plague because she hasn't been fakey with him like her sister.

Ugh. Sometimes I wonder how I got myself into this mess.