SD17's "Suicide" note
Good evening fellow STalkers,
I haven't posted much lately, since my step-sentence was commutted to "time served" back in February. As a bit of background, my SD17 was sent to live with her bio-daddy after we found out that she had been smoking pot, cutting classes (so many that DW was in danger of being charged due to her truancy), and secretly dating gang-bangers. It also came out that she had been royally playing DW17 and bio-daddy against one-another, since they did not have an amicable relationship, and weren't working together to parent. Of course, I was overyjoyed to have SD move out, and things have been much better. But like a wart cut off with scissors, SD17 keeps coming back in various ways, and today was a doozy.
I travel a lot or work, and DW called me today to advise that SD17's bio-daddy discovered a "suicide" note in SD17's room during a routine contraband sweep. I did not get to hear the contents of the note verbatim, but SD17 railed on everyone, stating that she hated her bio-daddy, her step-mom, DW, and of course me (I would point out that I have not seen SD17 since May, and have not actually spoken to her in over a year, but it is good to know that she is still keeping that fire burning). I'm not sure if SD17 specifically stated that she was going to kill herself, or wanted to die, or whatever, but regardless, she had not actually done anything to hurt herself. Nonetheless, Bio-daddy freaked out, and took SD17 to a counselor, and DW of course felt obligated to go.
The counselor saw everyone separately, so DW did not get to hear what bio-daddy and step-mom had to say, but based on body language, step-mom was apparently pretty pissed at being disrespected in the note. When DW had her turn, the counselor basically told DW just to be more supportive of SD17. There was no talk of an involuntary committment to psych ward or anything. SD apparently just told the counselor that she was "frustrated," and wasn't planning on hurting herself. DW took it as angry teenager venting, and noted that many teenagers say they hate their parents, which is of course true.
Even though I do not like SD17, I certainly don't want her to hurt herself. However, I don't think that she ever intended to do that. I think that she is just mad that she was sent to live with her bio-daddy, and doesn't like his strict rules. She was living the "good life" when she was with us, since DW did not enforce any rules, require any chores, and lavished gifts on her. I think that this was just a stunt to get attention, and try and set the stage for returning to our house. However, if that is her plan, SD17 is in for a rude awakening. It will be a cold day in Hell before she is allowed to live with us again. I put up with her bullshit for many years, and DW actually agrees with me that she should stay at her bio-daddy's. Shame on me, I had almost forgotten what felt like for SD17 to stir up trouble. I won't let my guard down again.
Sounds to me like she planted
Sounds to me like she planted that note, knowing it would be found in the routine sweep. She was either hoping BD would feel sorry for her and lighten up on the rules, or send her back to BM (where rules were not enforced).
Sometimes suicide notes are
Sometimes suicide notes are written as an attention getter. Hell suicide attempts are sometimes used to get attention as well.
Sometimes the notes are a cry for help.
I find it interesting that the suicide note is an outwardly angry letter. I would have imagined a more inward looking note about her feelings and how she feels crummy about herself due to whatever stressors are in her life (real or imagined).
I would recommend continuing the therapy. Not as a suicide prevention - but as an outlet for her obvious anger.
And I also agree with you - keep her out of your home.
Good luck to you and the other adults!
When my daughter was less
When my daughter was less than four, she carried a table knife into our bedroom and told us that she would kill herself unless we went out to rent a My Little Pony video. We were stunned. A preschooler with the mind of a teenager. We cringed but took her to a therapist anway. They say that you always pay attention to a suicide threat! Her therapist eventually said that he would never say that a patient of his would never suicide, but if he would, now would be the time. We were so glad that we never rented that My Little Pony video.....
I still think a hint of suicide should be taken seriously because it's better to laugh later than cry.
She knew the note would be
She knew the note would be found since "sweeps" are made. It's a attempt to get Dad to ease up not a cry for help or a plausible threat. Unfortunately on rare occasions such kids actually carry through so the response was appropriate.
It was taken seriously, hence
It was taken seriously, hence the trip to the counselor. I think that there will be more counseling in the future.
That said, I still think that this was part of a ploy to try and move back in with us, combined with the usual teen angst that DW noted.