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Semi-Permanent Birth Control advice

StepKat's picture

DH and I made the decision not to have kids of our own. I would like to have a form of birth control that is not 100% permanent just in case we change our minds later on. I can't take any form of hormonal birth control. A birth control patch caused a deep vein thrombosis in my leg so I can not longer use anything that alters my hormones. I'm terrified of IUDs because of the horror stories I've heard about them (punching your uterus for example), so copper IUD is out lol. Any suggestions?

StepKat's picture

Also, I don't think an IUD is a good idea because I've never had a child before which means I have a higher risk of expelling it.

sixteensmom's picture

my daughter had an iud for almost 4 years, she never had any trouble with it. she had it removed last year and got pregnant right away.

StepKat's picture

Maybe DH should have a vasectomy so we can't go back on our decision? I don't know. Birth control of any kind terrifies me.

StepKat's picture

Oh. He does when I ask. We never had a problem with agreeing on birth control. It just annoying to have to put the condom on during sex. I have used a diaphragm but it was the same as the condom, we had to stop for me to insert it. I want to be able to have sex with DH without having to think about birth control or worry that it will fail if not used just right.

StepKat's picture

Not the diaphragm. You have to use spermaside with it so it would get everywhere and (for me) kill the mood. Spermaside and condom lube do not taste very well lol

FML's picture

Give nuva ring a try. You replace it every month and can even choose to skip periods. It does use hormones but its concentrated hormones. It doesn't have the same risks as hormones that go into all parts of the body. I never had any issues with it.

StepKat's picture

Just talked to my sister who knows a lot about birth control due to endometriosis. She told me that anyone that she knew had an IUD had to have it removed because of major problems it caused. She flat out told me not to get one. This is so frustrating.

NCMilGal's picture

The only non-hormonal methods I am are of are:

Condoms
Copper-T IUD
Diaphragm/cervical cap
Sponge
Spermicide
Natural family planning/rhythm method/pull-out method
Sterilization

I've been on the pill and had an IUD. The IUD worked, didn't migrate anywhere or anything, but omg, the red tide and cramping were overwhelming, and even certain positions were painful for me. I've also got a sensitive cervix (paps are painful) so that probably had a lot to do with it.

I got to be too old to be a smoker on hormonal BC, so DH got snipped. This was awesome until my biological clock started going off at 36. It's all for the best, because if I look at it logically, I don't really want kids, and DH *really* doesn't want (more) kids, but I went through three years of hormone-induced misery and insanity because I couldn't have one of my own. The last episode of crazy was almost six months ago, so I'm cautiously optimistic that the crazy may have died down.

I can't tell you what's best for you, but it looks like your choices are pretty limited.

StepKat's picture

I'm really considering talking to DH about him getting a vasectomy. *Sigh* I mean, my health can't handle a pregnancy anyways and DH already has 3 kids. Plus, by the time any child we have is fully grown DH will be over 50. Not much of a life for us in my opinion.

PolyMom's picture

I absolutely adore my IUD. Took 10 minutes, felt some mild cramping, like early labor, and then I slept for two hours after the procedure. Ever since, I had some light spotting, and then no period in almost a year now. I don't have to think about it except at my annual physical. I got one just for this reason. I didn't want to go back on the pill and wait for my body to start ovulating again in case we did want more kids. With the IUD, they just take it out, and you can get pregnant right away.

Just J's picture

Ok you're really killing me with this "By the time our kid is grown DH will be over 50" stuff!!!

My DH is 48 and we have a 10 and a 5 year old. I guess his life is about over by the time my youngest is 7? Please! I get it at 27, 50 sounds old as hell, but you've got to stop thinking that way. Geez my dad is in his 70s and still plays golf twice a week and he and my mom travel all over. And I certainly plan on having an amazing life with DH in 13 years. I actually am now, while raising 2 little ones. I don't know where this notion of life beginning after your kids are gone came from. We're having a blast raising our kids together, and we still take trips and do the things want to do. Having kids has been a joy, part of what I wanted out of marriage, not a countdown until our "real life" can start. But if that is your perspective, then kids probably don't fit into your life.

If you think you might want kids, don't let age be a factor. You are only 27. I don't know how old your DH is, but people are having babies later and later these days. I think you still have time to decide and the fact that a doctor (at least a good one) won't give a tubal to a woman under 30, especially one without kids, means that the medical profession agrees. If you're unsure, you should not do anything permanent. But it sounds like you're waiting for someone to name some magical, miracle, non-hormonal, non- sex interrupting, non- permanent solution to your problem, and unfortunately that just doesn't exist. Your options are a bit limited since you can't use hormones, so truly your only choices for non-permanent birth control are condoms or the sponge or Russian roulette, which I don't recommend as my friend has 2 sons using that method.

Just J's picture

LOL!

christinen's picture

The only thing I can think of is the IUD or condoms, which has already been mentioned. I have heard horror stories about the IUD but if you aren't planning to have kids anyway, it shouldn't really affect you. Most of what I heard had to do with not being able to get pregnant, miscarrying, etc.

What about having your tubes tied? My best friend had hers tied but now that she is with a new guy, she is actually planning to have them untied so that she can try to get pregnant with the new guy. She said it's about $5000 to get the procedure reversed.

PolyMom's picture

I know breast feeding is quite effective! I know..you haven't had kids, and it kinda defeats the purpose...but maybe your DH is really into that!!! LOL

Rags's picture

We went through the same quandary and settled on a non hormonal IUD. I have offered repeatedly to get snipped but she has asked me not to risk any complications since I am a child onset T-1 diabetic and she is petrified that injury can cause things to fall off. Wink Other than the discomfort of insertion and a number of days of discomfort after it was installed she loves it ... and so do I. Hormonal birth control is not an option for my DW (toxemia with SS and a history of blood clots) and we both have a latex sensitivity so condoms are not a regular option and the natural condoms are a bigger PITA for us both to deal with than the latex ones.

We used the foam for several years after her Gyno took her off of the pill. It worked but definitely impacted the flow of festivities.

The IUD is great for spontaneity.

StepKat's picture

What the rhythm birth control method? I've read all ya'lls post and we have decided to wait on a vasectomy for now. I'm researching sponges and the rhythm method. The age thing is more of his thinking (basically that's what he told me how he feels lol).

Calypso1977's picture

i chart my cycle following the fertility awareness method (FAM) and have since 2009. it requires some discpline and some small periods of abstention (or condom use), but i enjoy being hormone free.

to learn more read "Taking Charge of your Fertility".

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

This is probably going to get a lot of negative replies but...DH and I used both the rhythm method and the pull out method in conjuction. For two years without so much as a "I wonder if..."

That's because I'm a pee nazi. I made damn sure DH peed before each romp and that he always pulled out and finished in some other way.

But now I'm tired of the clean up. So much easier just to sit on the toilet and wipe while I pee after (to prevent UTI's) so I'm making him buy condoms this week. Condoms make me itch and my lady bits smell funny days after but I'd rather he clean up than me.