Should I be present at the meeting fdh is going to have with fmil
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My question is all in the title guys... After fmil stated to fdh that she has nooo idea why we haven't been visiting and not allowing her to pick up fss on Fridays it seems necessary that fdh needs to sit her down and lay it out clearly that's she's severely over stepping boundaries. My question is, should I be at this meeting? Apart if me feels like this is fdhs job to put his mom in her place but another part if me feels like I should be there to show her we are united in this... What do you guys think?
what does fdh think? my dh
what does fdh think? my dh had one of these come to Jesus meetings with his mother and i was not present (probably so that he could sweeten it all up - he is very much a momma's boy). i did see MINIMAL changes after this (although i think he hides alot of his communications with her from me). it's his job to handle his family and vice versa. but, i'd let your fdh decide this one.
Fdh says he wants me there to
Fdh says he wants me there to show his mom that we are united in the request for her to respect our home/life/family environment were trying to create. I told I didn't want to get in between them but he says if I'm not there she will thinks its just him being a dick and that I'm not agreement with what he's asking. I think he feels this way because in the past when he's asked her to do things she'll come and ask me and I'll redirect her to my fdh so I think she's taking this as passiveness and shell do it anyway because she thinks I don't care
Yep you got it exactly right
Yep you got it exactly right there as far was playing us against each other. Fdh would talk to her about whatever and shed ask me to come where they were and say "you agree with me, right msg1986" and fdh would have to repeat to her over and over to leave me out of it... So he figures if she sees that I am with him in regards to asking to act like a normal effin person and respect some boundaries that shell get it.
I'm there with you about excusing myself, I fdh that this meeting needs to be in a public setting so that its neutral territory and we can leave if she gets hostile
Dtzyblnd you have nooooo
Dtzyblnd you have nooooo idea, she's like with all her kids and she's known for saying "we'll I'm not mom and I can do whatever I want." Fsil is pregnant and I seriously can't wait for be to pop that kid out because her cray cray will redirected to her.
That's a great idea of staing that from beginning that way she knows right off the bat where I stand.
If you go or don't go, make
If you go or don't go, make sure you make clear to FDH what the new boundaries and expectations are and stick to them. If one of them is that she is not welcome in your home, meet her at the door when she visits and politely explain that it isn't a good time and perhaps she could meet her son elsewhere at a later time. Then, close the door.
I don't like my MIL and doubt I ever will, but she has finally realized that I will not let her dictate our family choices, and that trying to do so has cost her dearly. She appologized to me in early Jan. I forgive her, but I will never forget, and my guard will never go back down. It's unfortunate, but that's apparently how it has to be.
Yeah that's a big big thing
Yeah that's a big big thing if goes alone that he needs to remember what exactly were asking. She's called again and pretty much threatend that if doesn't let her take fss on fdhs visitation that she's going to go behind his back and ask bm to let her see him which wouldn't be a big deal if bm was a rational sane person, fmil has tried to play devils advocate for bm in the past and that's why fdh doesn't want her to communicate w bm... It adds to BMs crazy.
I feel like I'm beginning to hate fmil and I don't want to feel like this
You got that dead on echo,
You got that dead on echo, when fdh asked that I be there thats what I thought, she will definitely feel ganged up on and she'll use that to deflect the whole thing. I'm worried shell turn the meeting into a pity party and the reason for the meeting will be a waste of time.
Follow your gut feeling as
Follow your gut feeling as its probably right.