Good day folks,

Ever since my SD17, aka "Butthead", moved out to live with her perfect bio-daddy, my overall level of "step-stress" has really dropped. This site was invaluable in helping me cope while she was with us, and I still occasionally check in here. Today I have an update, but it is not about Butthead, but rather my SS21.

I have posted a lot less frequently about SS21, not because he is a great kid, but because he is a lot less of a pain-in-the-ass than Butthead. SS21 is a fairly typical result of divorce-centered "guilt" parenting, first by my DW, then later by his grandmother. SS actually went to live with the grandmother when he was 14, because his father was still living at home (he was 36 at the time). While living with us, my DW did not enforce any standards, rules, or expectations on SS21. When he went to live with the grandmother, even those modest standards were lowered, as he was essentially never required to leave his room.

As he enters "adulthood," SS21 is still coming up short in a few areas:

1. He does not have a driver's license.
2. He has not quite mastered the art of personal hygiene, and frequently smells bad, with nasty teeth. He bathes infrequently, has has actually gotten a yeast infection between his fat rolls.
3. He is not pursuing any education. Last year he was forced by grandma to attempt "college" for a semester, but withdraw after being told that he would flunk every single class if he did not withdraw.
4. He alernates between dressing like a hobo, and dressing like a member of the "Trenchcoat Mafia," ala Columbine.
5. Until just recently, he had never had a job. Of any sort. Ever.

Well, number 5 just changed, as grandma used some of her connections to get SS21 a job at Taco Bell. I think that it is great that he is actually working, but it is sad that he is 21, and this is first job. It's not like he started in food service as a part-time job in high school. This is literally the best job that he will be able to get. And I am willing to bet that he doesn't last 2 weeks.

Of course, my nightmare scenario is that SS21 will try to move in with us at some point. I have told DW, in no uncertain terms, that that ain't happening. No way am I going to support an adult step-kid, espcially one that is not in school, and probably not going to work.

I guess there's not really a point to this posting, as SS21 is not currently a problem. It is just aggravating that he has been enabled into being such a loser. At least I know that I am not alone in facing such problems.