Telling BM she can't come to your house
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DH made it a point years ago to tell BM she was not welcome at our home and exchanges will never take places there. We like are home quite and peaceful she tends to lose it a yell. Randomly she will try to do an exchange at our house DH just reminds her that she is not welcome at our home. Anyone else have "rules" like this?
PS my DH is awesome sometimes with dealing with BM and solving issues.
Sometimes the "rules" have to
Sometimes the "rules" have to be laid out in CO form. Rules, for some BMs, are mean nothing.
Glad your BM follows them at least most of the time.
It is in the CO were
It is in the CO were exchanges take place but she will pull the it is too cold for SS to have to be outside four time when it could just be twice. (4 times from her house to car, her car inside, inside to our car, and inside our house) I was just reading about how someone else is fighting with their child's stepmom because stepmom doesn't want her on the property and I totally get that.
Does your CO say BM has to
Does your CO say BM has to wait curbside but she still comes up and rings the bell?
Did you freak out on her and have DH tell her he was going to call the cops?
Did she ask why all the hostility when she only wants to greet her daughter?
https://www.steptalk.org/node/232335
This is what got me thinking
This is what got me thinking about it. DH has remind BM about things like the CO says exchanges will take place at the front desk and to not have his at the time 5 year old son run through a parking lot. It just made me think how there are 2 sides to stories. Because I am sure BM acts like we are just out of control for not letting her come to our house but fails to mention her losing it and screaming in parking lots as well as her pushing. (not saying the mom is this post did these things no idea on her just our situation) Personally I think it is reasonable to request someone not be on your property.
I was being sarcastic, I need
I was being sarcastic, I need an icon! LOL
I'm glad you saw it wasn't directed at you!
I think it's very reasonable to request that someone not be on your property. I also think that the BM in that other thread was much more confrontational than she let on.
It was nice to see her come on here and ask about her actions. I think everyone was nice to her and let her know that she needs to back off.
This is what got me thinking
This is what got me thinking about it. DH has remind BM about things like the CO says exchanges will take place at the front desk and to not have his at the time 5 year old son run through a parking lot. It just made me think how there are 2 sides to stories. Because I am sure BM acts like we are just out of control for not letting her come to our house but fails to mention her losing it and screaming in parking lots as well as her pushing. (not saying the mom is this post did these things no idea on her just our situation) Personally I think it is reasonable to request someone not be on your property.
I don't like BM at our house.
I don't like BM at our house. In the beginning she showed me that she had no concept of appropriate boundaries. Originally, we had a cordial enough relationship that we didn't have a problem having her inside the house while SS6 got his things together to leave. Once, when FH was not home, she took it upon herself to walk into our bedroom to see the furniture I inherited from my grandmother. The next time she knocked on the door to pick up SS6, I opened the door, smiled, and said "Just a minute." I then closed and locked the door. Two minutes later, SS6 was escorted to the door and out he went. Now FH takes SS6 out to her. She's annoying and always looking to see if there is anything new in our house/yard/driveway. She likes to try to use it as leverage for more cash. FH shuts her down by telling her how our discretionary income is spent is not her concern OR he will say that Sleepy's income is her income and the amount or how she spends it is none of your business. It took about a year and a few conversations between us until this became the norm.
Enforced boundaries are a beautiful thing.
I never had an issue with BM
I never had an issue with BM coming to our house, as long as she didn't come inside. Since BM never tried, I have never had a problem with it. I don't know how I'll feel about it when we have a farm, but I doubt I'll care over much. Then again while BM pissede off on behalf of my DH and step kids, she and I have always been polite/cordial. If that weren't the case I'd probably feel differently.
Our BM lost her privlage to
Our BM lost her privlage to drop off SD about 2 secs after I moved in with SO lol. She was dropping off SD and I dared to open the door while she was waiting in the driveway. She had the nerve to call SO and rip into him because I was at the door of the home I lived in.
She's so annoying
SD tried to make me feel bad
SD tried to make me feel bad that BM and her DH were spending Christmas alone and wanted me to invite them, about 10 years ago.
My reply: "No. If they come onto our property, I will have them removed and charged with trespassing. I will not even discuss it further and I want this to be the last time it is asked." I haven't heard any more on this subject. Long story made short.
There are 36 years of lies, gossip, you name it; This was not just a split moment decision; BM and SD brought this on themselves and I will not be their pissing post in my own home. There is a limit of abuse to a person.
pffft BM had free range of
pffft BM had free range of the house till I moved in, I simply said, you are divorced, she moved out, she's not allowed back in.... Aergia is old enough to go out to the car and walk back in all on her own....
Once I caught BM in the house, Aergia let her in, I was livid and told her to leave or I will call the police, she claimed she needed the bathroom, I smile and said - I do not care, go before you drop off your brat or use the garden...
None of this went down well, but SO agreed ..... thus it's been years and BM never set foot in the house again
A lot of families have NO
A lot of families have NO ex's allowed at the home, IN the home, driveway or curb. It is not uncommon, it is not rude, it is not petty and it is not putting the kids last either.
Your home, your land your decision.
It doesn't mean they wont break in or have someone break in when your gone. Get a security system and post no trespassing signs approved by your local police department. Some signs will not result in reports filed. So ask what signs and posting will how you protect your home from Unwanted /uninvited persons.
Glad to know I am not the
Glad to know I am not the only one. I have heard BMs complain about this and they have no reason to be in the house/on the property.
I wonder how those BMs would
I wonder how those BMs would feel if the SM walked into their house?
Doesn't the SM have a right to see how the skids live at BMs house? You know so that she can try to recreate the same perfect environment for the precious littles thing at her house?
I was actually invited into BMs house by SD once. BM wasn't there and SD needed help carrying something out to my car. It was odd and uncomfortable. I did however like her decorating style, it's very similar to mine, LOL.
I have been in BMs house. We
I have been in BMs house. We dropped something off once. When we asked to drop it off she said she wasn't home but would be in 2 hours. When we got there it was clear she spent those 2 hours cleaning. SS even said wow it is sooo clean
"(except all the roosters in
"(except all the roosters in the kitchen)"
My BFF has a bunch of glass roosters in her kitchen. I tease her about her glass cocks all the time. She says I'm just jealous and has left them to me in her will. Hahahahaha
No we don't break our rules.
No we don't break our rules. BM is not allowed at my house and I do not go to hers. It's plain and simple that way. There had been times dh had and sd has asked me to go drop her off. I just say that things are more simple and I don't want to open that door of drama