thoughts on pickup/dropoff accomodation
Over the winter, pick up and drop off was changed to the local police station because SD13 was refusing visitation, being a brat and the like.
Now its summer. BM was relying on her parents to get SD to the police station for 8am pick up because she often works on the weekends we have her, but her parents go away on friday nights for the weekend to their summer home.
she has asked that she either drop SD off on her way to work (630am!) or that fiance pick up SD at the house as there is "no way to get SD to the exchange spot".
I told my fiance this is crap. she signed an agreement, she needs to figure out how to get the kid there or she can ride her bike over (its about a mile). he has decided to meet her halfway by picking SD up at the house but then BM has to come and get her at our house.
would you guys cut the BM a break on this one, seeing as she is not accomodating to us in anyway (not telling us of events for SD, putting in her vacation plans at the last minute (legal under the agreement, but passive aggressive nonetheless).
They signed an agreement. I
They signed an agreement. I would stick to it to a T. It's her issue to figure out, not yours.
Doesn't sound like everything
Doesn't sound like everything else is stable with the BM not telling the father about events etc until the last minute.
I agree, seems pretty fair to
I agree, seems pretty fair to me. And maybe this will help usher in a new era of compromise that will make things easier for everyone involved! (I'm a relentless optimist)
Is there a chance SD would
Is there a chance SD would refuse visitation if DH goes to pick her up at her house? I'd ONLY do this if it's not going to be a huge headache! And you do get something out of it at least, since you don't have to drive to take SD home...
Your fiance's compromise
Your fiance's compromise seems okay, but the only problem I see is that he runs a high risk of showing up at the BM house and SD13 won't want to come out. At least with the midway point your fiance has some kind of guarantee that SD13 will be there.
I would let BM drop her off
I would let BM drop her off at 6:30. But that's just me, I'd be up anyway, SD7 would easily fall back asleep - business as usual.
If she lives close DH could go pick her up & then BM could come get her on Sunday.
Considering the past problems
Considering the past problems I also would opt to require she be dropped at my front door at 6:30. I would also tell the BM that things of this nature could be worked out if only she were more co-operative on the issues previously existing. Daddy should make it clear that he expect co-operation from her in the future in exchange for this.
I would probably agree with
I would probably agree with the condition that SD is not allowed to ride her bike (if she's refused visitation in the past, who says she'll make it to your house) and that the first time a problem presents, you resort back to the police station drop off.
I don't ever trust our BM. She lies, manipulates, and plays games.
I would tell BM she can drop
I would tell BM she can drop her off at 6:30 and your DF can answer the door. Then again, I'm always suspicious when a BM gives two shitty options. I will almost ALWAYS advise DH to take the less shitty (I.e. The most inconvenient on. BM) option. My SD BM told us once she had a class to go to on a Saturday that she had to leave for at 5:30 AM. Knowing how she LOvES the nightlife and how DH and I agreed between us that we would not support her choosing her friends over SD by being her drop in nannies during her parenting time, DH told BM "No problem, bring SD at 5:30am, and we will look after her during your class." Lo and behold, BM suddenly didn't need anyone to watch SD.
Sometimes compromise is the
Sometimes compromise is the name of the game. Try and remember this is about the skid seeing her parent.
And you are lucky your BM works. Uberskank didn't work and yet could never drop skid off at our house. If H wanted to see his kid, he had to provide transportation.
It's frustrating but don't let this be the hill you die on.
we tried 630 am once. SD was
we tried 630 am once. SD was an even bigger bitch than at 8am, whining and crying about how she needs her sleep and why cant daddy come get me at home at 9 or 10. also, it wakes me up. i put in a long workweek and i dont want to have to be woken up that early on a saturday.
as for the bike riding, we are talking about 1 mile bike ride from BM's to the police station. not far at all. but yeah, she probably would refuse to do it (and get away with it).