As futurobrillante99 said on another thread

"If your partner is an emotionally stunted toddler in a man suit, keep your mouth shut and plan your exit."

This guy is acting like an spoiled brat. I mean, you literally invited him and he is making all these insecure comments about you cheating on him. Perhaps he feels like he would do so if the role was reversed.

From what you have posted... you aren't high enough on his value chain. I understand that his kids are a primary responsibility.. but he doesn't seem to value your feelings.

Reading around the edges..he doesn't sound like a super catch. 2 kids and financial problems. search through this site and you will find many tales of woe with the same formula.

Him 1. Kids. 2 & 3. Mother 4. Guest you are #5 in his life.
And Remember, these are the GOOD DAYS. When everybody is on the best behaver
It seems like the Homegmoon is already over. You are wasting your time with him
Sorry to say, cut your loses now

I was only half way through reading this when I started typing. The word "manipulative" was my very first thought.

Ok...finished reading the whole thing. You are right to be cautious about approaching long term commitment with this guy. In fact...my two cents...is that he isn't at all right for you. If you aren't even enjoying each other in the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship then what is the rest of this thing going to look like? I don't know (sometimes I can tell) what his motives are exactly which is a little scary. I just know that he is immature and manipulative and through his actions he is telling you your batting order in his life. You aren't ok with it. If he won't put you first now he never will and you SHOULD NOT settle for second place, third place, fourth place........

Take it from me and many people here who settled for less than being someone's #1 priority...neverminding the fact that this guy obviously has tremendous issues and baggage...it f****** hurts to be second place or worse. That by itself can create a lot of resentment and pain. Good luck to you girl.

NOT a good fit.

Wasting precious time and FUN.

oh hell, run girl run, run like the wind......

Keep your own place and your own money, stop bailing him out if you are doing it, stop looking after his kids even if it's only for half an hour, He's not serious about you, he's never going to marry you cause he's already married to his children and mummy... You will always be 4rt in line, maybe 5th cause his Ex will be ahead of you.

Go and enjoy the wedding, if he keeps on making digs about it, look him in the eye and say, you had the opportunity to join me and you declines, no stop acting like a baby and grow up. I'm a grown woman and if I want to go I will.....

This man is showing anger issues, and definitely emotional abuse, he wants you to sit at home and wait around till he has time for sex, nothing else...

This will just get worse, stop seeing him!

Hi Caitlin,
I see red flags all over your post. Nothing about what you said or wrote describes this man as a “partner or a support”. I’m sorry, but if he is like this now, it will only worsen after a wedding. Sadly, from what you described, you will never be his #1.
You sound like a bright girl with a wise head on your shoulders. Your successful, a good career, financially stable, and it sounds like you have a good heart too! You deserve to be with someone similar. It’s likely a future with this guy will cost you all the above, and perhaps lose yourself in the process, and your worth so much more. I agree with Acra.....RUN!!!
Whatever you decide, good luck to you and have a great time in Cancun

I would normally leave well enough alone here since I can tell that you(not unlike myself) are the kind of person who will learn for yourself...even if it's the hard way...what is good for you and what isn't but I need to call attention to this....

"Most of the time you come after the kids and sometimes the ex as well."

This isn't true girl. Especially the latter part! It is utter nonsense to believe that you should come secondary to someone's ex partner or spouse whether they have children together or not! As far as the kids go...there may certainly be times when there needs have to be placed ahead of the needs of a partner but overall a happy partnership should be the number one priority. If you have a happy partnership you are a happy person and a happy person makes the best kind of parent. They can give their best selves to their kids because they have a "best self" to give. One day...under normal circumstances at least...the kids will go out into the world and have their own lives and who will still remain is the partner provided their SO was good to them, fair to them, loving to them and made them a priority. You don't have to work at your kids being your kids because they always will be but you do have to work on keeping your partner in your life because that person will not always be there if you neglect them.

Now these words are for you to think about and hopefully deliver to your SO...if he is even worth the breathe and can even remotely be reasoned with...when you realize that I am right. You are worth this. It doesn't sound as if you believe that. You got a resounding and universal response here from everyone that I know probably isn't what you wanted to here but that many of us can't be wrong. I hope I don't sound like I'm lecturing you or condescending because I'm not...I really don't want you to go through the hurt that I am certain you are in for. Please give this some deeper thought. Best of luck.

I don't know that he's as awful as everyone here is making him out to be. But think about this. He has a lot of people on his plate among whom he must divide his time, money, effort and attention. On your plate, you have him. There will always be that imbalance because even if you have kids with him, he'll still have all those other kids.

I was in your shoes - I was a career woman with no kids really wanting a steady for weddings, trips, parties. But average men with young kids can't afford the time and money to have single-person fun. You'll be footing the bill for him and his kids every time you want to do something that he can't afford, and when school's in session, you'll be tied down with him. He can't be spontaneous, frivolous nor extravagant. It's not that he isn't a fun guy, but he's saddled with obligations that you don't have. As soon as you marry/pair with him, you have the worst parts of those obligations, but none of the good parts. Think about that.

As for this specific event, be grateful you're learning how he is before you're tethered to him. Go to the wedding, be single at the wedding, be open to meeting someone else who might be a better fit for you. If it happens, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, fine, that will give you more time to work out the kinks in this relationship. Whatever you do, DON'T MOVE IN OR MARRY HIM with all these red flags that are trying to tell you to go slower and not do anything you can't easily undo.

I am giving a standing ovation to marblefawn myself. Her advice was fantastic!

Again Caitlyn I hope I didn't come across wrong. My intentions are only good here when I give my advice. Even though we are all strangers I feel a sense of camaraderie with the women and men here because we are all in this together. Step-life is hard. I want the best for each and every one of us.