My SSs were 11 and 6 and they were both thrilled. After the wedding, however, it all went downhill with SS then 6. He moped around during the entire ceremony and reception and hasn't stopped almost two years later.

Her reaction now, whichever way it goes, could likely have no bearing on how she feels later.

That said, I hope it works out in your favor. And congrats on your engagement!

SD was 16 when we got engaged. DH wasn't very tactful when he told her, but I stayed out of it. I didn't ask how/when he was going to tell her, and didn't care. I'm guessing this is a way to not go about it: DH told her he was getting married again, and said that she has no say in it, and doesn't care how she feels about it. SD told me this a few months later. She said she was hurt by his bluntness, but she wasn't upset about the marriage in general (we were together for 2 years and living together by this time.) I personally would have been gentler about it, and then if she gave attitude, tell her she has no say and that's it.

We had a destination wedding, so we didn't involve her at all. We had a family picnic in lieu of a reception when we got back and she joined us there. I'm guessing there was less drama because she was a bit older, and she knew DH wasn't going to tolerate any crap.

SD16 asked her dad (not in front of me) WHY would he want to get married AGAIN???? WHY does he want to start over????? WHY does he want another family and have more kids bc SHE is his only baby now and FOREVER :sick:

She managed a quiet "congrats" when she saw me and immediately followed it with a "How much was your ring?????" :jawdrop:

None of your fucking business was my reply without the f word..........

We have not even started planning the wedding, there's too much other shit going on and I'm completely fine with that, I do NOT plan on including SD16. If she comes around by the time of the wedding maybe she can have a "job" she will not be standing up there with me and the people who support and love me FOR ME. I will not give her any opportunity to make this about her and ruin my special day. I want the big wedding and beautiful dress and now I'm seriously leaning towards just me and FDH and a reception with everyone....i just don't know but the thought of his kids there besides sd22 makes me sick

My husband and I eloped and didn't tell anyone except SD for almost a year. She was only 5 or 6 at the time though and she thought it was all very exciting and happy. A teenager will be hard.

I cant remember how we told the skids. I think DH sent a text. He has 4 kids and they were all at different places. We had holded off telling people (kind of) until we could get all 4 skids together, but that wasn't working out. Finally a few weeks passed and I wanted to be able to talk about it on FB so he just sent a text to the skids. Only OSD responded back. And that was back when things were good with the skids.

We ended up get "un-engaged" a few months later when the skids started acting crazy. I needed DH to change some things regarding the skids before I married him. When we finally decided to get married 1/2013 and never told the kids we set a date. We just started planning. I dont think they even found out until around May 2013.

Skids were not included AT ALL. They were invited guests.